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Oh dear, Sometimes I forget which game I am playing. Does it even matter? I don’t know why I am like this. Itching to play. Perhaps I just miss you. Busy rueing the day. You’d think after all thi...

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Seems I develop the wierdest feelings. I don’t even know them usually. Who needs a face? A body? I fall for the words that drip so beautifully down my screen. How much better would they be in ink...

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Repressed memories. And suddenly my world starts to lose color. Like a thousand blades in my back I remember. All the things the damn was holding back. I asked God for this. A better memory. As i...

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If for one day we could all just say exactly what we fucking wanted to without any chance of later reprecussions? Just one day. I bet people would have a lot to say.

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There are certain things that are just lost on me. Social convention? What’s that? Social structure? Standard conversational ques? Tact. Yeah right. Perhaps I missunderstand everyone else as much...

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I felt aweful and didn’t know why. Then I discovered Stephen Hawkings died. It was hard not to cry. Then you messaged me Pretending you’re a saint. How generous of you To waste your time talking ...

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Today just feels like it’s been a bad day. No actual reason for it. Missed therapy. The bitch from night shift be acting like I don’t do anything. Fuck would she know about it? I just kept my sil...

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A friend suggested I give myself a name rather than letting someone else label me. She suggested I could choose who I wanted to be. This is not entirely true of course. I could not choose to surp...

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School’s really piling on the work as the semester is coming to an end. I’m fighting so hard to finish it all, but I’m distracted. I get almost no time with my son now. Haven’t had a chance to ex...

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You know the feeling. You have removed from your life all but those you trust. Stopped confiding in people. Don’t even write your secrets down anymore. Then suddenly… The most horrible rumors sta...

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Drop the Veil Thoughts are Locked. Trust is Gone Communication Lost. What was once my solace, Is now my prison. It just keeps happening Nobody listens. If you wanted to know What i felt or though...

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Today at chuch I prayed for one of my residents to be healed of paralysis. Two other women prayed with me. Not knowing what his affliction was one of the women cited the story of Jesus healing a ...

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Paranoid Personality Disorders You are all doing this to set me up for disaster. Schizoid Personality Disorder I hate everyone equally, except you, I hate you the most. Schizotypal Personality Di...

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https://music.youtube.com/watch?v=6_BPZ3oVRl4&feature=share

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I’ve been trying to translate tongues from Hebrew to English. It usually starts the same, so I figure it must be some sort of declaration. So far I haven’t had a lot of luck translating phonetica...

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Today my anxiety was very high. I was fighting off social avoidance, but the desire to withdrawl from social interaction was almost unbearable. I find myself worrying about things that haven’t ha...

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It’s funny. You took words out of my mouth And turned them into lyrics. Without bothering to understand what they meant. Just assumed the worst. And took credit for my thoughts Without blinking a...

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I must thank God for the amazing new job he sent me. I’ll be working in a care center for people with traumatic brain injuries. I’m working towards a job in psychology so it’s perfect for my fiel...

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I read somewhere that some Christians believe that prophets come in pairs: one that hears the voice of God, and one that interprets his words for the people. Think Moses and Aaron. I’m not sure w...

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I see that smile, you are hiding from me, don’t let them see, or think you enjoy my company. now I remember, what torture was worth, moments like this, a shadow of birth. the sparkle in your eye,...

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People see me write on here about my old friend J, and they have a million questions. Who was he? A lover? A friend? A Nemesis? Why is he no longer around? Is he dead? J is Schrodinger’s cat. The...

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Joy, like a bubbling hot spring, it fills my body, warming my extremities. The Spirit flows through, my heart takes flight, I could fly into the clouds, bathed in light. I can not understand it, ...

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I went to a show today. It’s been a while. At first it was cold. It is hard to feel people thinking bad things about you and smiling to your face, and then jut politely sit back and act like you ...

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I wish I could be in a place where I could see your mind Outside of your mind. And hear your voice Outside of my head. And see your face Right in front of my face Everyday. And I wish I could see...

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Haven’t written in a while. Not sure about the security of this online format anymore. I mean, I do make it public, but I also want to be anonymous. I don’t give my journal out to anyone. It’s po...

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