I must thank God for the amazing new job he sent me. I’ll be working in a care center for people with traumatic brain injuries. I’m working towards a job in psychology so it’s perfect for my field. What an amazing opportunity! And it pays pretty well too. I asked God for a job that would be fullfilling and pay well enough to support me and my son comfortably and let me spend more time with him. Then I calculated out how much I would need to make. I’m getting paid exactly what I asked for. This is exactly what I asked for! God is amazing that way.
But also, I think I’m failing him.
See, the other day he asked me to do something. I tried, but I chickened out. It seemed kind of crazy you know? I mean, I guess it wouldn’t have hurt anyone, but I’m so nervous when it comes to talking to people. Here’s basically what happened.
It was late and I was taking a nice hot bath and saying a prayer. God told me to go somewhere. He said my heart was calling me to go talk to someone. It seemed urgent. I was told to hurry and not bother going back for anything. He told me to head downtown. I ended up in a place that I recognized, but didn’t go very often. I had no reason or excuse to be there. I was told a boy would come out and stand on the steps and I should wait for him. So.. Feeling like I must have lost my mind I sat down on the steps and prayed. I told God that this was riddiculous and that I was worried it was all in my head. Nobody was out there! I told God that I would walk to my car and if I got there before anyone came out I’d assume I was in the wrong place and leave. As I started driving off I looked over and two boys were on the steps. I knew I should go talk to the boy, but I didn’t know what I should say. I parked and got out, looked around for a second trying deaperatly to get my courage up. The boys seemed a little spooked. Hell, why wouldn’t they be? So I got back in my car and drove away. Feeling like a failure.
The next day at work I was pulled over to the old folks home for the day with my new friend and sister in Christ. They said the church elders were coming that day (it was a random weekday). I expected an older priest to walk in. Instead two young men (not even old enough to drink) walk in wearing ties. They were adorable and had nametags declaring them elders. Not sure what qualifies someone as an elder in whichever church they were from, but that’s beside the point. They read from the Bible and preached a sermon about doing what God tells you to, even when it seems unlikely. God has his ways of getting my attention I guess. Not sure there is anything I can do about my mistake, but I’m praying for courage and clarity so I won’t fail next time.
Strange things happen when God speaks.
Last updated October 06, 2017