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Why is it that I feel the lack of you today so strongly? Perhaps it is the show that I will be missing tomorrow. I should have found something else to do to take my mind off of it. I know it is g...

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My feelings are lieing to me again. They are telling me nobody will ever understand me. That I’ll be alone forever. That it will never get better. Because I’m a freak. There are alot of us though...

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I’m so confused about my brain right now. It’s lie I don’t even know what I want sometimes. I go full force in one direction and then entirely ruin my progress moving the opposite way. Maybe I’m ...

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All day my brain has been buzzing with random thoughts. Not sure what to do with them all, where to write them or which ones are worth saving and which ones I should just let drift away. When you...

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Today I want to talk about something I think alot about. As a prospective religion/psychology major I am always pondering the idea of mental illness. Most people see mental illness as an obstacl...

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Well last night I looked at the fortune cookie fortunes stuck to my fridge and one of them said that three months from today would be my lucky day. I look at the date written on the back amd real...

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Despite my torrent of deppression in the moment I’ve been fighting and holding on tight. Seems like I only write when I’m sad or panicking or some other negative emotion. I got into a fight with ...

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What did he do to me? He tried to help, but did he help? Or did he make it worse? All the things he used to remind me of you, now they do. But what about the rest? Was it for my benefit or for hi...

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My deppression is getting worse. I’m starting to feel sad and apathetic. Nothing can take my mind off things. I’ve made feeble attempts to reach out to friends, but as always, the ones I want to ...

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Another sleepless night. Maybe God’s trying to talk to me. That’s what my mom said. She said if you can’t sleep it means God is trying to talk to you. Maybe I’m just no good at listening. My mind...

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I made this secret place for myself, a diary, but then I made it public. I don’t tell people about it so I assume they don’t know. Maybe some people have been clever enough to find it. It’s possi...

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Now I know what’s coming for you. It’s him. My old enemy. He has so many names. The deciever masquerades as a mentor. A dealer. A friend. He knew about you long before you came along. Summoned bo...

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And suddenly she realises that Phantom of the Opera was a true story. If there was one more act maybe it wouldn’t be such a tragedy. He would miraculously come back to life and the two would be t...

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Dumping some old entries today. Be patient haha. Really tired of Fake friends Fake smiles Fake sentiment Fake effort Really tired of Crying alone Trying to be strong Responsibilities of any kind ...

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What do I fear? ‘This is what you should fear. You are what you should fear.’ -Marylin Manson closed mindedness in the church I often times am afraid to speak of my faith very specifically. Some ...

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I always see you. Why are you everywhere? And I know this hurt Is just what you wanted. Make me rue the day, Right? But you have no idea. You couldn’t possibly understand. What pain like this is....

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Gloom. Looking around and realising, How alone I am. Fighting all day to be social, Like maybe this will help. At the end of the day, Its all the same. Alone. This is the life of a freak. I have ...

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Feeling a cloud of gloom come over my life. I’m having trouble getting a new job. I’m not goimg to be able to pay for college. I’m struggling socially and moat days I’d rather sleep all day than ...

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I have found a new direction, new interests, made new goals. This is good right? But a question still plagues me: Is this about me or is it about you? It is okay for you to have influenced my lif...

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Nothing I can do for you, Right now friend, So I will let you be, Just do my thing, And be me. I will watch, And I will wait, Try to slow the tides, When the floodgate breaks. Your words are hars...

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Stuck in a fog, Having conversations that will never happen, With people who never cared, And aren’t really there. Why should I crave conversation so bad? I know I will not talk to you, Not the w...

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You willfully trod on those around you with pride and sadism. You sin freely saying, “God will forgive me.” You drench your heart in sin and your mind in drugs. Your soul is covered in blood. You...

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Powder, All over your nose, Makes you feel, The power, But you don’t know. Trouble’s waiting, And its coming for you, I hoped you’d be ready, But you’re coming unglued. Story’s changing everyday,...

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If I collected all the tears I’ve cried for you over the years I’d have myself a nice littlw wishing well. I don’t cry on command. I cry when I’m sad. Perhaps I was right in the beginning. You we...

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I hate the mask you wear, All the things I loved, Hidden behind the stare. You were perfect, In all your flaws, But the real you, I fear is gone. Everything I wanted, Gone in a minute, Ripped fro...

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