Entries 31
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I Didnt Even Tell You
Because you dont care either. Indifferent. My good friend died last week. Suddenly. My birthday buddy. Hes been around so long. I assumed he always would be. We had plans. We were in the process ...
Today
Peak thinking time and motivation today: 4pm
Fear
Woke up with this terrible fear that something happened to my son while we were in another state. Out of nowhere. What is this? Panic attack? Bad dream? Mothers intuition? I dont even know what t...
I just keep thinking
This cant be goodbye. But I’m the one who left. Miss you so much today. Wesley cant make it go away.
About to Implode
I dont feel like I have an outlet for my emotions right oow or any moral support from anyone. This is all eating me alive.
-.-
Already feeling shitty about my last post. I shouldn’t care right? It’s my damn journal not a PR blog or some shit.
It Just Be That Way
I feel like I’m under performing, not meeting my own standards, feel like a lazy fuck who will never accomplish anything. I need forward motion. I need to fix my medicaid, find a therapist. It’s ...
Sweet Dreams lead to dissapointing mornings
Had an amazing dream about Jay last night. Now I dont want to be awake. I’d rather just dream of him forever. We could be close again, in my dreams.
Ssdd
I wish I wasnt alone tonight. I’m depressed. I also dont want to bother anyone. Most people couldnt be bothered anyway.
Its like that
Tell me what I can’t do And I’ll show you the difference between me and you.
Must be the meds.
My mind is on cloud nine but my body.... Just wont move from this chair.
Time
Seems like time is moving do fast, but my brain is just stuck. It doesn’t recognize the passing of time. I’ve accomplished alot in the last few years, but it always feels like I’m not accomplishi...
Why???
Cant seem to get motivated to do anything lately. This has got to stop. Someone send me motivation. I cannot fail myself again. So many thoughts spinning in my head. I need to find a way, a retre...
Adequate Compensation
People spend a lot of time at work. I always hear people complain about work and say they wish they didnt have to work. Here’s the truth: If all you get out of your job is money then they aren’t ...
How??
How do you get motivated to do things? Even when they are really boring. I cant keep my attention on this, but I need to get it done. It’s not hard work, just so freaking boring.
Free
:(
I know I did the right thing. I did what I had to do. But I already miss you. Goodnight.
Disappointment
I guess I wasn’t invited after all… I hope they are different. I hope they are real. I should know better. Sad.
Irreplacable Objects Should Not Be Taken To Bars
I guess I lost my pin at the show the other night. The one with Austin on it. I shouldn’t have worn it out. :(
Fiending
You are like a drug that I always need more of.
Why!?
Did an abdominal work out. Feel like I’m doing. I might puke. I didn’t even finish the darn thing. This is much more difficult than anticipated. Owwww!
Must I Beg?
Talk to me. I miss your voice.
Tired Brain
The anxiety and stress is really eating at me today for some reason.
Trying Not to Give In
Ever watched yourself slowly go insane? https://music.youtube.com/watch?v=5Ez17h1EkK8&feature=share Please pray for me. It’s just starting to be too much. I can’t shake it off when people are...
Why!?
Am I okay? No. Nerves, anxiety Seeing double meanings behind everything. Ahhh brain… It’s sleeping time. Sleep, Please please sleep!
Book Description
For those little thoughts that are sometimes so big.
