The real me
Entries 98
Page 4 of 4
:( in Pridesafiordilabbra
A friend came down to florida to visit for 6 days. I hadn’t seen him in probably 10 years. I consider him a brother. Dropped him off at the airport this morning. It was great seeing him and hang...
:( in Done drinking.
It’s been a week since a friend hung herself. I’m drunk and cut the shit out of my ankle. Not dealing well. The friend who hung herself lost her brother in July to work horrible house fire. ...
Sunday night a friend hung herself. in Done drinking.
The famIly has been threw hell. Her brother died in a house fire in July. An older brother got out and was able to save the father but couldn’t find the ladder to save his brother. When the broth...
I miss OD in Pridesafiordilabbra
It was two years ago. I had so many friends. Read so many entries. Now I’m here. I haven’t been able to find half the friends I used to love. Things just arnt the same here. I miss OD every day. ...
Drinking in Done drinking.
Drinking so I drank pretty heavy last week into this week unfortunaly. I really am trying to stop. This would be so much better. I moved back into the cabin the other day. Finally moved all my st...
It's been a while. Still drinking in Done drinking.
I’ve been in Florida for a month now. I am loving it. The two horses I brought here are also loving it. They seem so happy. Haven’t really gotten any riding in so far Fractured my ankle the beg...
That didn't last long. in Done drinking.
Ended up picking up a bottle of vodka Tuesday. Haven’t had much of it.
Nothing to drink since Friday. in Done drinking.
Haven’t had a drink since Friday. I really want to but I haven’t. Will see how long I can fight it this time.
Still drinking in Done drinking.
I don’t write much anymore but I do follow my favorites. My drinking is out of control at the moment. I can go threw a gallon of vodka in 2 days. I’m hoping getting out of Maine for 5 months wi...
Shit in Done drinking.
Haha so I thought I was doing good for a few days but that went to shit yesterday when I got a big bottle of vodka and finished it off in only 2 days. So not good Starting to stress over my Flor...
Hi in Pridesafiordilabbra
Haven’t writen in ages. Things are OK I guess. The depression comes and goes in waves. Lately I have had more good then bad days. Still drinking but trying to get out and ride the horses more. ...
2 years ago Friday July 11 in Pridesafiordilabbra
I have been dreading this day for a week or so. Friday marked the 2 year anniversary of my memere passing. We were very close and I don't do well with death mostly her and my peperes death. I...
Showing the horses in Pridesafiordilabbra
So I have had friends showing 2 of the horses this year. First is lil miss she just turned 2 on the 22nd she is being shown in hand by my best friend and they have been doing better then i exp...
Still drinking in Done drinking.
Yeah so I only stayed sober for like 2 weeks. Oh well. At this point I would rather be drunk then deal with life.
8 days in Done drinking.
8 days no drink. I am happy with that. Though I have turned to eating crappy junk food. But will deal with that later on.
One week in Pridesafiordilabbra
I have been sober for 1 week. I have managed to go to the store for things and not come home with vodka though I would really love to.
I did it. in Pridesafiordilabbra
After three days of having the urge to use salt ice I finally gave in I used it at about 6 o'clock tonight and then again at 8 o'clock and I feel so much better. It feels like a weight has been...
Back in 2000 in Pridesafiordilabbra
September 19 2000. My first psych stay. I tried to kill myself. Spent a week at one hospital where I met Will. He had also tried to kill himself. He was so sweet and he helped me get out of my...
Still hanging in there. in Pridesafiordilabbra
Haven't had a drink since Friday. My nerves are on edge. Little things are pissing me off. Just people talking pisses me off. I want a drink so bad right now. I keep thinking about Will. This...
Was good last night. in Pridesafiordilabbra
I didn't use salt and ice last night. Went to bed feeling like shit. Woke up wanting to use. The feeling has stayed with me all day and the urge is just getting stronger. All this is because ...
Bad night in Pridesafiordilabbra
It's almost 9pm I have had a very quiet day. Didnt want to talk to anyone. Just had nothing good to say. Now I want to use salt and ice so bad. I want/need to feel the extreme pain. Cutting jus...
Lost my best friend Cleopatra. in Pridesafiordilabbra
Wednesday February 5th I lost my best friend. My great dane Cleo. I had a feeling things were coming to an end but didn't think it would be so fast. Started withe her having a seizure the day ...
Its odd in Pridesafiordilabbra
I am finding this whole starting a new diary very hard. I don't handle change well. Being with OD since 1998. I was 16 things were not good. My cutting was getting very bad at that time. I met so...
