:( in Pridesafiordilabbra

A friend came down to florida to visit for 6 days. I hadn’t seen him in probably 10 years. I consider him a brother. Dropped him off at the airport this morning.

It was great seeing him and hanging out. We went to Disney for 2 days. Came back to camp for a day and then went to universal studio’s for a day. It was a lot of fun. But I have been struggling with my depression the last two weeks.

February and beginning of March are always really hard. Though it’s not as bad as it has been in the past.

Still my emotions are all over the place and I hate that feeling. The urge to self harm is strong. I just want to feel pain instead of this depression and anxiety. The pain takes away tge dread and emptiness I feel.

It’s also when my memere started having health issues. 3 years ago. Pain and loss send me over the edge. Knowing she only made it another 4 months kills me.