Done drinking.

by The real me

Entries 67

Page 1 of 3

Went and brought roses to my pepere today. Knowing that I will mostly likely be drunk on the 29th. Had a good cry while there. 20 years later it still hurts that I wasn’t there at the hospital w...

September 15, 2020

20 years ago

20 years ago I was transferred from Massachusetts psych ward to a new Hampshire hospital. Yesterday was my nephews last horse show till next year. I don’t plan on ever having kids out of my wo...

September 10, 2020

Made it thru the 9th

Survived the 9th. 20 years ago the start of my first hospitalization. It lasted almost 6 weeks. The next big hurdle will be the 29th my pepere/grandpa passed away and I was the only grandchild n...

September 07, 2020

Wednesday is going to suck.

Wednesday is coming quickly. The 9th is horrible but the 29th will be worse. I managed to get threw my bad night with no injuries. A great friend called me at 2am after I sent her a text about...

September 06, 2020

Having a much better night

Ended up eating junk food last night or should I say 3am. My best friend called me after I sent a text. I had already gotten out of the I want to cut head space but we talked for 30 minutes. She...

September 05, 2020

Feeling better

Ate some junk food and talked to a close friend who understands the urge. She will be calling me in about 6 hours. I’m not suicidal what so ever. Cutting just makes things better. But I didn’t do...

September 05, 2020

Cutting issue September

September sucks for me. The 9th 20 years ago I was hospitalized for cutting my wrists. Spent almost 6 weeks in a psych ward. My pepere/grandfather died and I was the only grandchild to not attend...

March 24, 2020

New outlets

Instead of cutting I have moved on to slamming the back of my wrist against a hard surface. The back of my hand and wrist are all kinds of different colors at the moment. The drinking is the sam...

January 14, 2020

Sober would be nice

December 26, 2019

Staying at our camp

So I temporarily moved into our. Family camp/ cabin. Fullly functional for year round use. Only 5 miles from the house and horses. I. Can still go every 5 days and refill water tanks and put Hay ...

December 11, 2019


So I have been struggling lately as of Monday last week my oldest brother was in congestive heart failure I personally was hoping he would fucking die he ruined my childhood and I still hate him ...

November 14, 2019


I know things are getting bad when I order exactlyI know things are getting bad when I order X-Acto knife’s online. I don’t want to kill myself just cut

October 26, 2019


Having a bad night. Trying to get shit done around the barn before winter hits. Was planning on spreading manure on the pasture tomorrow that’s not going to happen. Apparently the riding lawnmowe...

January 03, 2019

Not fun

Having issues with trying to get sober. After the first day I start hear noises in my room sounds like mice chewing stuff around me. I turn on this YouTube video of so called sonic noises and run...

December 26, 2018


I want to cut so badly at the moment.

August 23, 2018

New puppy

We have a new puppy in the house. Her name is cookie she is a chocolate lab. Just turned 8 weeks old she’s my nephew tramaynes new dog. My dog a soon to be 4 year old great dane has done well wit...

August 03, 2018


My FB might look good but for the most part I am fucked up. 2 day and and I finished off a bottle of bicardi 151 proof rum. Along with some 100 proof vodka. Really haven’t slept since Tuesday mo...

July 12, 2018

Puppy and flowers

Thursday my family will be going to visit our new puppy she is only 3 week’s old a chocolate lab. It’s going to be my nephews dog. He will be responsible for pretty much everything. My parents an...

April 07, 2018


Definitely going to be heading to florida this coming winter for 5 months. So sick and tired of the cold and snow.

March 27, 2018

OD information

Im PridesAFiorDiLAbbra on OD. And can be reached at

March 27, 2018

OD information

Im PridesAFiorDiLAbbra on OD. And can be reached at

March 27, 2018


Had a feeling this was coming to an end after OD returned. I have loved reading all my friends adventures on here. OD was always my home so people can find me at PridesAFiorDiLAbbra or FB http...

February 20, 2018

Where to find me

I am posting back on OD had a lifetime membership and was able to recover my whole diary. If people’s want to read I’m under Pridesafiordilabbra. I am still reading all my favorites on here.

January 29, 2018

OD is home to me.

I’ve already written 2 entries on my old diary. I am lucky I had a lifetime membership. I never felt at home here like I did there. There are a lot of diarys here that I enjoy reading and keep...

December 13, 2017


How does one do AA when they are terrified of groups? I need help I know it. I have looked into meetings but with the anxiety and panic of being around more than 2-3 people let alone driving thes...

Book Description

Trying to stay sober.