Entries 32

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I’m in video chat with Joseph right now. The man I fucking love. We went through some hard times but jesus, this man. I love you lots. He knows that. I just feel like writing it here.

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Dad’s fucked up in the head. I can’t blame him. It’s sad. He kept blaming my mom for things he has no evidence for. Things that he himself did. Things that are honestly understandable for her to ...

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We got back together. But it’s like a roller coaster. I suck at communication, but I damn well try. I fucked something up and from that point on, he said he will ‘put less pressure on me’, said h...

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It’s 1pm. I’ve been ruminating since I woke up at 6am today. Been a long time since I wrote an entry here. I am doing it now to sort myself out. Got diagnosed with Depression last, let’s see… Mar...

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Didn’t think I’d be this clingy. From the start, I was wary. Have always been. People are, generally, difficult to deal with. He said, let your guard down, I will do the same. Let’s be genuine in...

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I lost the key to the apartment yesterday. It taught me that I am bad with coping with stress. …or, actually, I’m not sure if I am. I was really exhausted from yesterday’s errands, and that took ...

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It’s my day off today. It is very important to me since I work for 12 hours for 4 consecutive days. That means I don’t really have time to relax and indulge in my hobbies. Without them, I would n...

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Never thought I’d be a victim to Erikson’s psychosocial theory for early adulthood. Intimacy vs Isolation. I’ve always prided myself for never needing anyone else to make me happy. But that’s kin...

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Almost a year since I last wrote. Migrated here in America last October, didn’t write ever since. Last entry was dated September 2015. Of course it was about Dota 2. (I honestly think I wrote ano...

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Yesterday, Tyson, Stan, Jace, and I queued for a bot match, since our connection wasn’t good enough for a normal match. But I was already tired at some point while queuing, so I closed my eyes fo...

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Luther told me today that this is probably the final week that we will get to play Dota together. This is supposed to feel ominous. This is his last week on his job, and so he wouldn’t have any r...

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Today, I played All Random normal match with two of my friends, Stan and Tyson. The team got Batrider, Venomancer, Templar Assassin, Sniper, and Huskar. I was happy because each one of us had our...

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Earlier today, I was supposed to attend my cousin’s poolside party at some resort. Last night, I had trouble deciding whether I should go or not. Ended up sleeping at 5 AM, so I didn’t go. I tho...

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Tonight, she confessed again. She asked me whether I remember the last time she did. I knew it was earlier this year. She said it was five months ago. I came back to her life sometime around Febr...

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Friday is going to be a holiday, so we decided to do something fun from Thursday night ‘til dawn. What better idea is there than Dota? I need a life, hahaha. The last time Luther and I pulled an ...

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So I’ve been playing Dota for 5 months now. I remember that entry I published back when I was a complete beginner. I didn’t know the majority of the items nor heroes, but now, they’re common term...

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It’s been a while since I’ve fallen in love with anyone on a romantic sense. I’m not sure what I am feeling now. For years, I’ve fallen hard for Benedict and have done nothing about it. I decided...

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Sorry, bad Dota Lion reference right there. But ah, yes. I had an adventure filled with misfortune earlier today, and I want to write about it anyway. It may have been terrible all throughout, bu...

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Right now in front of me is the half-full 60-mL bottle of a cheap energy shot drink I bought today out of curiosity (and need). I’ve been feeling down for some time and couldn’t get the motivatio...

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I’m not upset. …I think I am, but I don’t want to be. I just did some deep breathing thing I learned some time ago on the internet. I felt physically calm, but my brain keeps arguing about the po...

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Today I’ve decided to take a little vacation. I stopped thinking about the things that I have to do. I’m in my room the whole day, barely spoke at all. I allowed myself to do whatever I felt like...

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It’s almost midnight, and I’m still reading up on a lot of DotA-related stuff. I’ve only started playing last January 2, and I really want to get good at it. This game is…difficult. Being an enth...

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We always have our family reunion on January 1st. I don’t usually go. But this time I did– because the place was halfway to where I really intended to be. With my second family, whom I cherish mo...

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I wish that when I’d come to this site, I’d write something funny or amazing for once. -sigh- Okay, that’s it. I’m not trusting anyone anymore. No more. Enough. I am not a play thing. I am not st...

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Ah, dear. It’s been ages since I last visited this site. I would write on paper on an ordinary day. It’s still an ordinary day today. Well, that’s the problem. I’m sick of ordinary days. Because ...

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