Micro in Adventure Log [01]

Luther told me today that this is probably the final week that we will get to play Dota together. This is supposed to feel ominous. This is his last week on his job, and so he wouldn’t have any reason to go to the city anymore. He has started on packing for his trip to Singapore in September, wherein he’ll be staying there for a month. Meanwhile, I will leave for America on the 29th, and won’t go back for at least a year.

Now that I am thinking about it as I write now, it feels… I don’t know how it feels. I guess this is how people dying of certain diseases feel like when they know what’s coming? I’m sad and stuff, but… I feel like I have this temporary immunity at the moment, where all I want to do is to enjoy myself. You know, make the most out of what I have left.

My final days of playing Dota with Luther, hm. I have other playmates, but it’s always different with Luther. It won’t be the same anymore. After this, I have a couple of weeks left by myself until I move to America. And then, I’m not even sure if I can keep playing Dota there. My laptop is not capable of running it, and I think there are no internet cafes for people like me. I will have to buy my own machine. Who knows how long it will take. I have a couple of other priorities like my family debt and getting my own apartment, not to mention the daily necessities I have to replenish.

Since this is his final week, I’ve decided to have fun. I’ve had a bad habit of directing the team, to the extent that I have been microing them. I can’t help it. I feel that they are behind and need tips. I give it to them. But I think that what I am doing is plain annoying. Just play the game, right? No need to tryhard. But if I don’t direct, nothing fruitful happens. They get angry at why I do not follow up, why I am pushing by myself; and that happens when I don’t tell them what to do. They question what I am doing, and I think I am perceived as the burden.

Maybe it’s about time for me to stop talking, and just see what happens from now on. I’ll just…take a deep breath, and exhale the disappointment away. Try to enjoy. Have fun. I can do it.