Feelings in The Rant Dump

It’s been a while since I’ve fallen in love with anyone on a romantic sense. I’m not sure what I am feeling now. For years, I’ve fallen hard for Benedict and have done nothing about it. I decided to move on because I was getting nowhere, and one-sided love hurt a lot.

Gavin, he’s been there since forever. A good friend, a mean brother, a playmate. A friend has said that we have a good thing going on; that what we are would be the ideal relationship goals people usually aim for.

Never felt anything for Gavin before, aside from the rare instances that he pulls off these dorky stunts and I develop a lingering crush on him for a week.

Now, when he sends me text messages, I really want to send a prompt reply. Usually, I never bother texting people back unless it’s important, but I find myself doing small talk over SMS with him.

We make a good team, but I don’t know what I feel. I’m not sure what he feels. I’m guessing this is just one of those things people in their early twenties go through- falling in love too often.

I’ll watch out so I’d understand myself better. I don’t want to fall in love so hopelessly like I did back then. I am a slave to my feelings, and I don’t want to put myself back in that cage again.

Why does love have to hurt..? Can’t it just be this pleasant thing people share with each other? That’s simpler, isn’t it? Ah, the rants of a tired mind.