Entries 77

Page 1 of 4

I shouldn’t write this, but I’m going to. Tonight John wrote to apologize to me for all the time he spent ignoring me. He says he just turned 30 and he needs to clear the air. He apologized fo...

---

I want to try to write more often, and reflect, more openly, on day to day experiences and thoughts. Writing is important to me, as are all the other forms of art I have passion for. I was doin...

---

I feel like the luckiest person most of the time now. I have written and discarded a million things. I write out the good to get it out, but I never feel the need to share it. Maybe I will this...

---

Ive written a million different times. All to be unfinished. It’s hard to write something whole that encapsulates what I feel, and also has an end. Time is going so fast. Just a rush of color...

---

I woke with the workflow Tuesday morning. Lazy morning traffic I haven’t seen in months. I’m always up before the sun. Open his front door, drop my boots on the mat, walk softly up the steps i...

---

Ive had drinks every night for the past week and a half. That’s not me. When did it become me? I control my food, and I drink so I can slip up and eat. I rinse and repeat. I’m happy and in ...

---

Anxiety is a snake. Quiet and strong, quick to strike. There’s a part of me that gives, and gives, and gives, and then sits in fear that I’ve given too much. I pour out everything I have and th...

---

It’s been a while. Per the usual. I’m a little drunk. Drinking honey whiskey that feels like force feeding cough medicine, but it’s all I have for tonight. Spent the day breaking things apart ...

---

I keep projecting the things I long for, in my dreams, but only when I’m sleeping next to him. I fall asleep in a buzzed haze and dream he tells me things I’ve been thinking about telling him. H...

---

I walked up the crumbling path leading from the driveway to my old home. I habitually reach out to open the lid to the black mailbox. Letters don’t arrive there for me. Still, I check, like th...

---

I’ve been back and forth. Waves crashing down on me and I struggle for air. Emotional tides running high and bringing with them some uncontrollable storms. The sun is so bright though. Breaks ...

---

Sometimes I fear writing intimately. Like it exposes me. He makes me unafraid of a lot. He turns me. Palm at the back of my skull. Fingers tangled in my hair. Completely wrapped around me. ...

---

A couple days forgetting to keep myself in check. An old foe rears it’s head. Hair of fire and eyes of fear. In its presence my heart is running. Leaping over beats, forcing skipped breaths, ...

---

He always has tired eyes. The weight of day to day and a new place pulling at his lower lid. He has freckles in the morning. His skin gathers poor sleep and let’s it rest upon him. His shoulde...

---

Every day is blending into the last. Dreams vivid and on repeat. Something about world ending. Over and over. My eyes are heavy, always. Hours slip by and it’s never enough. I count minute...

---

He sings that I am kind. Says I’m sweet, that I am good to him. A ballad I’ve never known It’s like I’ve been a ghost to past lovers but he…he sees me. All of the self opening doors, the fill...

---

It’s early morning. My body is up by 3am but my mind is far behind. I’m playing catch up on the day before. Hours burning fast, caught up in sunlight and different eyes. There is a part of my ...

---

I’m sitting at work, and it’s grey. My favorite color. My best jeans fit too loosely now… I didn’t even try. I drove hours the other night while realizations crept through the slightly cracke...

---

Sometimes we take steps back searching for things we lost. It’s easy to chase something you’ve known, but sometimes that thing you knew, isn’t the same in present tense. When you grow you learn...

---

For once I feel peace. Peace looks like nights on the couch. It looks like a clean house and early, not tired, mornings. It feels like a steady heartbeat, even breathing. No pressure to pla...

---

My future looks like brick walls… Curtains draped higher than the widow frame.. A bed bountiful in pillows and sheets and light. A long, yawning lawn, that stretches far and wide but lined by tal...

---

Today, I felt a different version of me. One I knew months ago. Years ago. In a paper thin moment, I bled back into a past me. Long enough to feel an emptiness that my soul knew. A parallel. ...

---

He says he found her dress, And all I can think about Is how much smaller it must be than me. About all the nights I wondered if the next day would be the day. Or the next.. Or the next. I felt...

---

I don’t know if he comes here any more. If you do, don’t feel bad about this one. The morning was ripping me from those sheets. Just like the sheets he left me in that early July, 2012. I wa...

---

I didn’t know when it started… The rush. Spent 4 years moving fast. Woke with my heart speeding, up before me. My body was high strung before my feet hit the floor. Even though it was calculat...

---