shespeaksmetaphors

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December 05, 2017

Fear in The First Life

It’s hard to close my eyes. My heart races..feels heavy against my chest. I go from melting, To telling myself to pull myself back up. Don’t get dizzy, don’t spin… Neither of us have time. I ...


For days I thought about how he looked at me. How he isn’t the ocean now, but something else. Maybe mountains. Unmoving, and not scaleable. Still distant. Just different. A new kind of unrea...


November 18, 2017

Loss in The First Life

Woke up under a beat. The left side of the bed stays colder than mine. It’s been almost a full week. Time works differently now. My brain has had time to rest from patterns of thought. Memori...


November 13, 2017

Buzz in The First Life

A sense of restlessness has ended. Like…that momentary silence between snowstorms. I hate the cold. It has always done well by me, though. I’ve been looking at my life differently now. My l...


November 09, 2017

Want in The First Life

Sometimes we are meant to have certain people in our life. Sometimes, our life is just not ready yet. If your soul nags you every day, walking from house to house, knocking on doors. If it ...


November 06, 2017

Keep your eyes open in The First Life

The sun was up earlier. My head heavy with sleep. Heart full, but still longing. I keep seeing his eyes. Feeling his hand on my face, my chest. Wondering how his lips still taste the same....


November 01, 2017

Cuts in The First Life

I wish I knew where to begin. My mind keeps flipping through pictures Running like a broken reel Slow I think fear takes a lot out of me. When two lost souls reconnect, It’s almost as terrif...


October 28, 2017

Not a dream in The First Life

There were things I forgot… Like how the tips of his ears are always pink. How his hands moved. They way his hair felt. I didn’t forget the shape of his head. Smile to one side, and that line ...


October 24, 2017

Middle space in The First Life

I’m in this middle space. It’s… been odd. Tied to high hanging hopes, But grounded with ambition. The blinds and curtains have been torched. White walls soaking light. My heartbeat sings and...


October 15, 2017

Home in The First Life

I’ve been laying here, eyes open, wondering if now is the time to lay these words out. My head is spinning, but I think my heart knew. There he was with a smile that hasn’t changed. A lightne...


Today is a weird day. I feel disconnected. I need to take a break from this. Ive been clinging here desperately. Like I’m getting to say the things I need to say. They just aren’t going to t...


October 09, 2017

Filling my cup in The First Life

My head has been so full. And I’ve felt incredibly alone lately. But not lonely. I need to get out. When life allows again. I’m fixated. I recited a day in 2011 today. Played it like a film in...


October 08, 2017

Story I didnt write. in The First Life

If words were strings… I’d be swinging low from them. Holding on with burning fists. Legs tangled between. I keep my jaw tight. My teeth are the guards that hold the gate shut. That keep the...


October 07, 2017

Present in The First Life

I can barely hold my eyes open. I’ve neglected sleep too often lately. Stay awake to imagine things. Pleasant…and some not so. The light stains my eyes. It’s hard to see. The dark is so so deep...


October 06, 2017

Voice in The First Life

Things have been surreal. Life is taking some extremes and throwing them my way. I sat in a room with people that fill my heart. People that are family made of sweat and not blood. Everyone w...


October 03, 2017

Pills in The First Life

The first time someone prescribes you pills. It’ll feel like you’re broken. I can’t fix this part of my brain. Maybe these little hard white lumps can. Maybe I’ll stop repeating. Stop dreamin...


October 01, 2017

Freeze in The First Life

When I spend myself physically, I lose the energy to push away the things that plague my soul. I fell down. Had to drive through that old town. Every time I drive those roads, I see him in th...


September 28, 2017

Changes aren't easy. in The First Life

Things are changing. This summer turned autumn and I’m still going. Shifting with the season and making last minute decisions to let my leaves fall. My mind has been pretty blank. I’m not held...


September 18, 2017

Wandering Soul in The First Life

Keep your mind in the company of positive thought. It’s incredibly easy to slip. Let one foul mood feed another, and then another. Until your sadness has its belly gorged. Slimy and bursting a...


September 13, 2017

Are you there? in The First Life

Almost broke.... Words seemed too close. The soul in the voice felt like it was mine. I have to remember it is not. I felt fingertips running across my skin like they were trying to find a poin...


September 10, 2017

Blank Gaze in The First Life

Eyes of acknowledgment. My purgatory. Each smile just teasing the corner of the mouth. Polite and dry. I feel like I’m in grade school. Deep within myself and on the other side of the chain li...


It was dark and I was searching. My feet were moving, my thoughts on repeat. The same lines kept cycling. Stuck in a pattern. If I keep going I might let go. I watched each fence post rush by. ...


August 30, 2017

Let me be wind. in The First Life

Far from home. Acceptance is easier here. The tides have been heavy. Waves crashing and rolling and white. I jump in headlong. The saltwater rushes in my nose, out my mouth. I choke, coughi...


It started with a picture. Some words that were once mine. And, of course, a dream. I once feared parting as if it were in my being to fear it. Like it was written in my soul. I was afraid, near...


August 24, 2017

Explode in The First Life

Capped. Head wound tight around my neck. It’s hard to breathe Harder to think Heart dissolving in emotional bile A chain reaction with nowhere to go. We look up Catch a breath while no one is ...


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