Teapots in The First Life

I feel like the luckiest person most of the time now.
I have written and discarded a million things. I write out the good to get it out, but I never feel the need to share it.
Maybe I will this time.
You know that feeling when you are overwhelmed with a feeling of lightheartedness? The feeling that sits at the top of your lungs and the base of your throat, that feels as though at any moment it might come out? A high pitched, bubbling over, teapot.
I get carried away sometimes on the next big thing, but right now, I have all of the big things, and I dont feel impatient to reach anything else.
My home is mine, my family made it through a lot this year, I’ve settled a year into my career, and I found the absolute love of my life.
Things aren’t always perfect, but they really do feel like it when I take a step back.
I have house projects that might be over my head, but they are mine.
I worry about my mom’s financial future, but I’m building to be able to help, and I CAN help from time to time.
I cant always save as much as I want, but I’m living a life I can afford and it is comfortable and happy and full of everything I need, and a lot of what I want.
I’m with someone that naturally sees a future with me, someone I dont have to ask, someone I dont fret over.
I am invited to everything and my company is preferred. He is my best friend, and appreciates me to an extent that no one ever has.
He makes me feel so full, capable, and ready to conquer.
Instead of making me see things in myself, he enhances the confidence I already have. I dont depend on him for confidence, he allows me to have that, to bask in it, and he supports it and never tries to stunt or lessen it.
I’ve realized that every time I was single, I would build myself up, just to let someone else tear me down, because they couldn’t handle me, or they treated me as less than I deserve. Its hard to be with someone that’s independent and strong, when you have problems with pride.
I’m lucky to have found someone that makes me feel like I’m a whistling teapot all the time. Gives me a warmth in my belly and I dont want to keep the vibrations in.
I had a love once that I believed in with my heart, but not my head. As I grew older and we got to know each other later, my head finally recognized what I really needed. And my heart followed suit.
But this..there is no question. No fear dreams. No concerns about “if”, “whether”…it just makes perfect sense.
He talks about the home we’ll share and it’s not hard. We both just know. We both just genuinely care for each other, and love each other. We tease, and joke, and share news with each other first.
I am me, to the fullest extent.Unashamed, unafraid, and completely without regret.

This year was ridiculously good to me.