There will come a morning in The First Life

Sometimes we take steps back searching for things we lost.
It’s easy to chase something you’ve known, but sometimes that thing you knew, isn’t the same in present tense.
When you grow you learn what you need.
When you are alone, you learn who you are.
When you value yourself, you don’t short yourself just because it’s the easier thing to do.
When you are strong, you complete your dreams.
I have passions but they don’t run my life.
I have fear but it doesn’t hold me back.
I have a tendency to second guess everything I do, but I’m learning to trust myself.
I can’t be uncomfortable for the sake of someone else.
I can’t always sit, tangled in ropes of hope.
There is a morning that comes when you wake up and nothing looks the same.
You went to sleep with an ache in your chest and you woke up free of that.
Like your mind needed time to sort it out on the other side and once it did, your heart was released.
There is a clear winner and the better of the two is the one that helps you be free.
For years I lingered a thought, on a stale feeling that stagnated in the air like a match.
Once I was close enough to touch it, it was cold. I did not have the desire to struggle to keep any warmth alive.
Especially not on my own.

So my nights have less alcohol.
My heart does not worry.
My brain is filled with plans and ideas of where I’m going to be and how I’m getting there.
I don’t wait up.
I don’t wonder if I’m enough.
I don’t look at the clock and count the hours that have passed.
And most importantly, I know exactly what I need.

Last updated February 23, 2018