Glitter and Trauma ⋅ 39
Entries 203
Page 3 of 9
Picking up the pace in The ugly truth about making babies
I’m off work sick with a migraine. Honestly, it’s like the migraine that just keeps on giving. I’m at the point where I don’t know if the migraleve is making me feel worse because of the codeine ...
Target in The ugly truth about making babies
You guys, I’ve hit my target weight! Totally unexpectedly, given that I’d had a few gin and tonics last night while sat in the sun. But there it was, 81.3kg on the scale this morning! We see our...
Dark days in In other news
M has been found dead. I think it’s the news we were all expecting, but dreading. I didn’t know him personally, but he’s a good friend of my sister’s and her group of friends. How do you begin t...
It's a very, very, mad world in In other news
I don’t even know what to say about the terrorist attack on Manchester last night. It’s 45 minutes from home, I’ve been in that arena I don’t know how many times over the years, from my first gig...
Slow Torture in In other news
These night shifts are a slow kind of torture. Sleeping in the day has become even more of an issue, according to the fit bit yesterday I got 2hrs 54minutes. I’m 4 hours off finishing my final ni...
I hate you so much right now in In other news
I ran today. My knee is fucked. I had to hobble 2 miles home. I hate that I’m pushing myself too hard I hate that I’ve been greedy and self indulgent to the point that this is an issue I hate ...
It never rains in In other news
I’m not gonna lie, I’ve been feeling pretty crappy and down lately. I’m sleeping terribly, I’m having a lot of headaches, I’m exhausted all the time. Then to top it off yesterday, I called into ...
Cut like a knife in The ugly truth about making babies
An ex colleague is 20 weeks pregnant. She posted on Facebook yesterday about feeling fat and how the body she worked so hard for is being ruined, and how she can’t wait to get back to the gym. I...
Frustrated as hell in In other news
That is my overwhelming emotion lately. Night shifts AGAIN. These have been particularly torturous, long nights pleading with a dementia lady to stay in bed so she doesn’t fall. Long nights of c...
Long shot in The ugly truth about making babies
You guys, I don’t even know where to start. I feel bereft and so so angry right now. After my hycosy last month meaning clear and open tubes, and with joey having done dry January and his sperm ...
Today we run in Eyes on the prize
This morning I ran 3.5km. Not bad for a first run in about a year, especially since I did actually run about 3k of it too and only walked from one lamppost to the next for a quick breather after ...
Hit the ground running in Eyes on the prize
I’ve had a good almost 48 hours to contemplate what the consultant said about losing more weight. Yes I feel like it’s unfair. I feel like I’ve been kicked while I’m down. I feel like my weight ...
Kick me while I'm down in The ugly truth about making babies
We had our meeting with the consultant today. Essentially he’s very nice but has basically told me I need to lose another stone in weight to qualify for NHS funding. That’s in addition to the 10l...
Hycosy day in The ugly truth about making babies
Had my hycosy today. Or HSG test if you prefer. Wasn’t as bad as I thought. A bit of a pinching pain as they passed the catheter through my cervix, a bit of pressure as they injected the dye, and...
One born every minute in The ugly truth about making babies
I don’t know if they have this in the U.S. Apparently one child is born every minute in the UK. This programme that’s on right now is based in Liverpool Women’s Hospital. That’s my hospital. Th...
Pain in In other news
My back is in complete spasm. I’m lying here literally rooted to the bed unable to move. I’ve a long standing history of back problems. Thanks to spending half my lifetime caring for people, and...
Meh in The ugly truth about making babies
‘Courage doesn’t always roar. Sometimes courage is the little voice at the end of the day that says I’ll try again tomorrow’. I just saw this, and how apt it is today. A day in work, not with my...
Mother's Day in In other news
Tomorrow is Mother’s Day in the uk. I’m working so I’m seeing Mum today. To be fair I see her most days I’m off work, I’m so lucky that we’re close, we’ve never really argued. The odd tiff that w...
Chiming in in The ugly truth about making babies
I’m an open person. I think since I’ve spent my life looking after people, performing deeply personal tasks and asking deeply personal questions, I’ve come to the realisation that I can only ask ...
Fat in The ugly truth about making babies
I want to eat everything in sight today. Bad bad combo of hangover and period. I’m making a pretty big dent on everything we have in the house. Even the chocolates that have been sat there since ...
Today is another day in In other news
Firstly, I have to thank you all for your notes on my last entry. They were very much appreciated. I’m still feeling a bit of emotional aftershock from yesterday I think. It was definitely the m...
Ugly crying face in In other news
Today was the most heart breaking day. I had to send a patient home to die, he’s 46. He has a wife and two young children, like primary school age. He’s always handled his disease with so much di...
More questions than answers in The ugly truth about making babies
So I had my blood test. It was for a repeat prolactin, apparently it came back ‘slightly elevated’. I didn’t get a good look at the exact numbers, although I wish I had. Raised prolactin could b...
On and on.... in The ugly truth about making babies
And so it begins. Had my blood tests on Saturday, as directed. Received a letter yesterday to say I need some repeating. Would be helpful if I could remember what she’d even ordered for me! I kno...
Pondering in The ugly truth about making babies
We had our meeting with the fertility specialist nurse yesterday. Basically a million questions about our health, a lot of invasive questions about our sex life, and lining up a load of tests. I ...