It never rains in In other news

I’m not gonna lie, I’ve been feeling pretty crappy and down lately. I’m sleeping terribly, I’m having a lot of headaches, I’m exhausted all the time.

Then to top it off yesterday, I called into my grandma’s as I was passing and she told me she had a doctors appoint for pain in her leg. She’s had the pain for a while, she’s 83, and a bit of arthritis is the only thing wrong with her! Every time her pain is worse she’s convinced she has a pressure sore or a DVT or something equally dramatic, god knows why, she’s not remotely a candidate, she’s active, she gets herself out on the bus, she looks after herself entirely independently, she’s quite remarkably fit for a woman of her age.

So of course I did the good granddaughterly thing and offered to take her to the appointment. Where the GP promptly suspected a DVT even though the pain was more towards the front of her leg. Cue a trip to the hospital for a Doppler scan. Except they had no slots left to scan her yesterday so they gave her heparin and sent her away to come back today, but not before they’d put the fear of god in her about a potential clot in her leg travelling to her lungs and a lecture about coming to a and e if she felt breathlessness overnight.

Off we trotted for a scan this morning, and lo and behold no clot. At least she was relieved and it’s peace of mind. Typically, Mum and Dad are actually away in Greece on holiday, a little bit to actually have a break from my grandma and some time to themselves. They tend to visit her one day at the weekend and have her for lunch or dinner the next day, so usually a full afternoon/evening. They very rarely have a weekend to themselves and she’s quite naughty in that she is a bit stroppy if they don’t come and see her both days at the weekend.

It’s hard, I’m sure, being on her own after losing my grandad two years ago. They’d been married for literally a lifetime and spent 20 or more years of retirement just the two of them, trotting along together, he spoilt her and they never left each other’s side. She’s pretty bad for laying on the guilt and we’ve all learnt to never commit to when we might see her next as god forbid something comes up and you don’t make it, you never hear the end of it!

I’m hoping that tomorrow I have nothing to do. I’m going to lie in as long as I want. I’m going to run when I feel like it. I’m going to the Thai supermarket for some bits and bobs for homemade Thai curry and some spices, I’ve got some lovely slimming world recipes I want to try out. Then I’m going to swim with my sister in the evening.

As one of my lovely noters alluded to on my last entry - thank you all for your lovely notes actually - it’s about making time for self care and making time to find my usual positivity. I’ve had a bit of a day today where I’ve thought fuck it, I haven’t exercised, in fact I’ve lounged on the settee after my marathon 5 hours running round after my grandma. I’ve had some mini eggs and copious cups of tea. I’ve binged on catch up tv. And the only housework I’ve done is throwing some washing in the machine cos I said I’d wash joeys gym stuff yesterday and forgot in all the furore with my grandma!

Tomorrow is another day, a day for me to get back on track and get my head back in the game. Need to get my mojo back.

Xx