Glitter and Trauma ⋅ 41 ⋅
Entries 205
Page 1 of 9
What a man š in As things stand
Honest to goodness, what an absolute shit show can be. If you can even call it that, Iām not sure the bare minimum in the bank every month and 6 hours ābabysittingā every other week counts as ...
Itās been a long time coming in As things stand
Wow. I havenāt updated since April 2023. Iām trying to think where I was at then. V was 4 and a half, in preschool as one of the oldest. She started school September 2023 and is absolutely t...
Intensity in The C Word
I havenāt updated in forever - maybe one day Iāll be able to write without staring with that! Maybe I should start with a trigger warning - this entry is about my work in palliative care. Work ha...
When V met C in A new era
Things have been going really well with C. I canāt believe itās been a thing since May, it seems like itās just going very smoothly and thereās been no drama between us. Itās wonderful to date an...
The tea in Work In Progress
The dateā¦.. Itās taken me so long to write about the date! It was so good, so easy, absolutely no awkwardness. He met me off the train, and we were both grinning like teenagers. We immediately k...
Date Day in Work In Progress
Itās here! Iām on the train on the way over to meet C for our date. I feel like I should be way more nervous but Iām mostly just excited for it. Canāt believe itās actually happening also, this...
Joey in Work In Progress
Iāve spent a lot of today whispering FFS under my breath. 3 is a wild age with massive emotional meltdowns and V losing her shit frequently and loudly over nothing and everything. So imagine my ...
Butterflies in The dating game
Iām in deep you guys. Since my last entry, C and I have been messaging a ton, weāve been like giddy teenagers. Itās amazing to me that we can flick between messaging random chit chat, to really...
A sudden turn of events in The dating game
I have a friend I met online, more than a decade ago. We met through blogging and weāve basically been through many years of highs and lows without ever managing to meet in person. Literally bir...
On Motherhood in A new era
Motherās Day is a week and a bit away here and if Iām honest Iām finding it all very triggering and confronting. When we were going through IVF for V, I made an insta account to connect with oth...
The pox is upon us in The Ugly Truth About Raising Babies
Weāve had chicken pox this week. Well, V has had chicken pox this week. Thankfully I had it as a child, quite badly at the time, so Iāve not had it again, although Iāve definitely had some kind o...
All these little things in A new era
V and I have been staying at my dadās this weekend, dog sitting. Heās gone for a few days away in Denmark, to visit his sister. I think the time away will do him good, and Iām sure heāll be glad...
I need to sort my life out. She says. Iām sat by the sea writing this on my phone instead of going home and doing the things. Itās safe to say that the last six months have simply been survival ...
Brave in The C Word
Iāve heard so many times lately that Iām so brave. That the fact I get up and out is brave. Having a 3 year old will do that to you. You donāt have the choice to just lie in bed when youāve got ...
Opening Pandoraās Box in The C Word
We met with the celebrant on Wednesday and planned Mumās funeral. Weāre happy with the decisions weāve made and the order of service and everything. The celebrant is lovely, the same age as mum, ...
Loss in The C Word
Iāve always felt a bit trite saying āsorry for your lossā but now I realise, itās perfect really. It is a loss, a loss so deep, itās a void that will never be filled. Her death is a massive loss...
And thenā¦ in The C Word
And then, she was gone. Peacefully and quickly, with no pain or distress. My dad and brother were chatting quietly at her bedside, checking her every few minutes. One time they checked she was ...
Mentor in The C Word
It does make me laugh, and also a little bit proud, that in the midst of all thatās going on right now, the junior staff are still asking me for advice and coming for a little chat about their pr...
Surreal in The C Word
Iāve watched a lot of people die over the last 20 years. Most likely hundreds, although I donāt keep count. When your career has been in elder care, then cancer and palliative care, it racks up p...
The beginning of the end in The C Word
What a couple of days. Christmas was as nice as it could have been under the circumstances, we did the running round in the morning, V and I opened her presents in our house, she had time to pla...
Fuck sake in The C Word
Iād written a whole entry. And itās deleted itself. Iām furious. I had poured my heart out. Feels better to have got it out, even if it didnāt save š¤¦š¼āāļø Iāll come back later and give you all t...
All the small things in The C Word
Who do you talk to about all the little things that are entirely insignificant? I know for most people it would be a partner but Iāve spent so much time on my own, or with a partner who didnāt ca...
The writing is on the wall in The C Word
Mum is dying. Theyāre still continuing antibiotics, for god knows what reason. Sheās been on antibiotics in one form or another since August and itās done nothing for her except keep infection a...
Shitty days in The C Word
Have you ever sat and watched your loved one die a slow and terrible death? Thatās what it feels like some days, with my mum. When the consultant told her her MDS had relapsed and her transplant...
Maid in Work In Progress
Bloody hell. If you havenāt watched Maid on Netflix, and intend to, Iām going to be dropping spoilers all over the place so maybe donāt read this. But fuck me, was it triggering for me. Watching ...
