Entries 146

Page 5 of 6

Today I’ve felt a heartache like someone died. Like I’m dying. It’s the first day working since January that my phone’s not gone off with a message from M. I don’t know why I want to hear from h...

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I opted for that title for two reasons. One, we’ve hit that part of the year where it’s quickly shifting to longer nights. The other is I’ve hit something I wasn’t expecting, and my depression is...

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Today is a nice relaxing day. I had to put my car into the mechanic, thankfully nothing major. I knew the clutch needed to be replaced, but that happens when you buy a car with almost 200,000 mil...

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I know it’s been a while, just bear with me. I’ve heard that Peter Capaldi is stepping down from Dr. Who this year. After his role in “The Thick of It” and “In the Loop”, I’ve kept waiting to he...

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Today has been one of those days where my mind just won’t shut the fuck up. I come home, and it only gets worse. It doesn’t help that “Fault In Our Stars” is on at the part where they’re in the a...

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Last night I had the strangest dream. There was no boat to China, Where I went I did not find ya, Still I have yet to get my laundry clean. I still want to hold ya, Dafuq does it mean!?!? If you ...

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So I’ve been kinda mulling over a couple of notes left by the owner’s dad when he put gas in my work truck, and I’m a bit annoyed. He’s worried about about my truck being dirty and blaming me for...

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It’s been a draining couple of weeks. Physically. Mentally. Emotionally. All around. I’ve had a great convo with J the last couple of days, which has been a definite help. M has also been some he...

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No, not to me, or to this blog. Unfortunately for you. I’ve been kinda on the fence about S a lot lately, and been primarily avoiding her. Friday she started getting insisty that I come out with ...

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I cannot get out of this slump. The usual ensues, I’m fine at work, around customers, around the office, etc, but once I get home, that’s all over and done, and it’s all down hill. I’ve been havi...

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I guess I never really realise how badly broken I am until something causes me to fall apart. I was watching Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince, and it got to the part when Dumbledore is kill...

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Of the week, that is. It’s Thursday night, so I’m one day from a weekend. It seems like by Thursday, I get the feeling my week flew by. By Monday morning, I want it to be Friday. Bought new ear p...

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I finally said on Facebook that I’m not okay. With Facebook’s ordering algorhythm and the people I have on my friends list, I figure 3 people will acknowledge it (J, S, and Nana) and probably com...

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I’m home for a little bit, seeing as I had time between jobs. I’m okay when I’m working, hell, I’m even okay when I’m alone driving the truck without the radio on. But If I stop for anything, my ...

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I dunno if that’s accurate, but that’s sure how it feels. I finally have the truck I’ve always wanted. I haven’t driven it in over a month. I like my car. I barely drive it. I want to get the gar...

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So M and I have been talking for over a week now, relatively consistently. It’s been on me to start the conversation. I don’t like that. The other side of it is emotionally, I want her to come ba...

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The pets and I have been very inactive this weekend. The dog is curled in a ball passed out, and the cat is on his back with this sort of smirk as he sleeps. I’m barely keeping my eyes open. I’v...

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GOD DAMN IT FUCKING SHIT! I should never have replied to M! I sent the message first yesterday, conversation ran till we both went to bed. I didn’t message today, and nothing. So what was the fuc...

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M (aka “The Vanishing Act”) up and messaged me out of nowhere last night. No one would be more shocked than I am. I’ve not exactly cut her any slack. I’ve been blunt almost to the point of being ...

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I’ve managed to do the grocery shopping. I have yet to do the laundry. I’m trying not to think at all, or at least as little as possible. It’s 7:45 in the evening. I already don’t want to go to...

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Sorry. It’s been an odd week, and I’ve had a very difficult time getting out of my head. I’ll be so fucking glad when I get back on my medication. This depression is driving me up the damn wall. ...

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I didn’t, but I almost did. I was coming back from running errands in the truck, and while I was on the street, a girl walked past my drive while I was still on the street waiting on the gate to ...

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Dad’s been on my mind today. Not sure exactly what set it off, but yeah. I’m wishing I’d written down some of his stories, or better yet, recorded him telling some of them. Not like I didn’t have...

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Well, I didn’t kill anyone, the work truck is still parked under my carport, and I didn’t smoke. I also didn’t sleep well last night. I dunno what happened. I didn’t really dream that I can reca...

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Am I the only one who waits till the last minute to do chores? I’ve had a three day weekend, thanks to it being New Year’s and all. I spent 2-1/2 days with my ass plastered to the couch surrounde...

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