Timing issues and memories in Emotional Crap.

  • May 2, 2020, 1:21 a.m.
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  • Public

Was supposed to do two jobs today, but the first one was a complete cluster bleep. Had to make lots of modifications. I was actually relieved when I called the second customer and she made the suggestion to reschedule. I was running fairly well behind anyway. It doesn’t help that when I set all this up, I told the office manager it wasn’t going to be a fast job. When I reminded her of that she says “Well, none of that was on the ticket.” Fair enough, but no need to be a twat about it. It was just one of those things where I had to make a lot of modifications on the fly. One thing I’ve learned in my 6+ years of doing this job, don’t ever expect things to go as planned.
It also didn’t help that I got a reminder of BL today. I was on the ladder winding up one of 4 springs (didn’t really have a good position to do so) and all of a sudden, I smelled her. I’ll skip the details (can’t really deal with recalling it all after today), but it was very reminiscent of one of the summer days she snuck over to my house (We didn’t go that far, ever). That threw me for a massive loop.
I’ve done well to not think of her much lately, or even dream of her. It’s been easier on my mind (and heart) that way. But when she does hit my mind, it pretty much always hurts like hell. Hopefully my dreams don’t decide to torture me over it tonight. Or decide to hit me with one of the other two.
I know what I need to do. I need to get over her. Which, when I’m not alone, is much easier accomplish. But when I spend as much time alone as I do lately, my mind just loves to screw with me.
On the way back to the shop, my stupid mind dragged up M again. She’s another one I’ve not thought of in I dunno how long. I got hit by that feeling of how she and I used to be, when we’d be laying on the couch, my arms around her, and watching a movie. Then I got that horribly empty feeling.

I was planning on coming home and working on the garage, but that’s not happening. I’m going to numb my mind out with YouTube and Stargate SG-1 on Prime. I’ll try being productive again tomorrow.


Telstar May 02, 2020

Some you never get over.

M101 Telstar ⋅ May 10, 2020

That is a massive understatement.

Telstar M101 ⋅ May 11, 2020

Time heals all wounds.

Or something like that.

M101 Telstar ⋅ May 12, 2020

Sometimes I wish time would move a little more quickly, especially in healing. But there's consequences for every action, so I just sit back down and shut up. Lol

Telstar M101 ⋅ May 12, 2020

In some situations, you never completely heal.

But it changes.

M101 Telstar ⋅ May 14, 2020

If there's something I've learned from the deaths of my loved ones, some wounds don't heal, but they do get easier to deal with.

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