Entries 2,402
Page 5 of 97
oct 13
I just realized that Liam Neeson got to do significantly more Force Ghost stuff as Ra’s Al-Ghul than he did as Qui-Gon Jinn. Also: if the racist stereotype bug creature KNEW about the Jedi us...
oct 12
If there’s one lesson to learn online, it’s that while passion is important, we must be more than just collections of our hobbies/fetishes/positions/fandoms & God help you if you’ve only th...
oct 11
They utterly screwed it up, choosing to have the biggest comic book convention in San Diego when they could’ve put it between Syracuse and Rochester and called it “The Geneva Convention”. Every...
oct 10
If you really think about it, Cloverfield was about the monster at the end of the film and should’ve been called “Groverfield”. Gold and silver are passe, Bitcoin imaginary, what we should re...
oct 9
A classic pop song about the Golem of Prague being formed from clay called “Sedimental Journey”. “Hoth blooded, check it and see, if you’re frost-bitten you should carve into me, if on the ou...
oct 8
I mean, Trump knows that “America First” was literally the slogan of the neo-Nazi rallies Daddy Fred would attend in the 1930s, of course, but he projects his stupidity onto us and thinks we do...
oct 7
Ideals are wonderful but they must be tempered by what is possible or else you’re just wasting effort, you’re Icarus half-way to freedom overwhelmed with hubris & dead on melted wings inste...
oct 6
Game Idea #1: OVERLORD, a resource management deal where you just took over a Generic Fantasy Kingdom and now have to allocate your resources to maintain it, bribing vassals, wiping out potenti...
oct 5
Few things could shake my head-canon that the Tanners in FULL HOUSE and the Tanners in ALF are related and we only don’t hear about them in the former because the latter were put into witness p...
oct 4
It is astonishing how many people wanted to believe that Elon Musk was a real Tony Stark when he was clearly a stoned Lex Luthor the whole time. The world’s rarest sex act can only be achieve...
oct 3
When you get your joke so turned around on itself that it no longer works, that’s called “jesticular torsion”. America is suburban white idiots protecting their McMansions with automatic weap...
oct 2
If we manage to survive 2020 with something resembling a free society, I propose a movie about this year, starring Mark Hamill as Dr. Fauci, called COVID SUMMER. Is a chaotic evil spellcaster...
oct 1
Please refrain from referring to the autopsy as “cracking open a cold one”. Written without punctuation, “Magnum P.I.” reads as “Magnumpi” which sounds like a name for an obscure figure in Ru...
sept 30
If Poppin’ Fresh the Pillsbury Doughboy got all ripped and jacked in the gym, would he then be Shredded Wheat? A prequel to RABID GRANNIES called MOMBIES? The Kool-Aid Man bursts through th...
sept 29
Mayor McCheese’s dandruff would be sesame seeds. The hideous truth is that those who are fine with lynchings, killer cops, school shootings, destroying women’s rights etc ARE the plurality of...
sept 28
Remember when a cheap red baseball hat meant “Fred Durst” at worst as opposed to meaning “the person under this hat is a fascist”? God, they were more innocent times or, at least, we could hang...
sept 27
A Faygo-flavoured breakfast cereal called “Juggle-Os”. Everyone was all like, horror and classic novels, all “Emily Bronte Battles A Mummy” or whatever but no one went the drug direction with...
sept 26
I want a little poster of Michael Jordan in a cubicle with a headset in front of a computer and the slogan. “Just Do I.T.” If you get off on being talked to like a pirate, that’s ASMRrrrrrr. ...
sept 25
The smell of garden hose baking in the heat, half the stale water bubbling up within, half cheap rubber gassing-off in temperatures it can’t fully sustain. The smell of summer, but in that bad ...
sept 24
Never forget that Trump tried to get the Central Park Five framed for murder & executed for no other reason than that they were black. That’s the bastard’s pattern, his primary goal is fame...
sept 23
I just realized that the people at the Tulsa Hate Rally were LITERALLY OK boomers. She considered “ob-gyn” such a formal title for what she did. She preferred “privates investigator”. “Leve...
sept 22
If I ever make a “story” on facebook, it is because my fat fingers slipped while writing a status to my timeline. No shame to those who use that feature but I am so much not a visual thinker th...
sept 21
The Covid Covid Cabana show drew like a weekday 1PM baseball game in the Northeast in April. Neat. The GOP has two things left, the only two things it’s had to run on since the 90s. Racism &a...
sept 20
Another good name for the Tulsa Hate Rally is, of course, “Covidpalooza”. Pizzadu. Stately home of Charles Entertainment Cheese. There is only one remaining mystery to the mogul’s death, his ...
sept 19
Has anyone tried to get the nutbar conspiracy theorists to waste all their money buying up Paw Patrol toys or still-racist boxes of Uncle Ben and Aunt Jemima, telling them they’re gonna be valu...
Book Description
originally, I went to college to be a comedy writer
the urge to still generate short form ideas remains
I collect, once or twice a day, my one-liner jokes
and my germs of ideas that I litter on social media
into little collections I call “barrages”
and then I put them here
sometimes
