littlefallsmets ⋅ 40

I write words, I sometimes get to perform them out, sometimes I'm even paid. And I'm trying to get it right, get it right.

with enough repetition, your flaws become your style

@Cecconi140

Entries 3,682

Page 1 of 148

9 hours ago

june 5 in idea barrages

Another good name for a band? “Mahatma Gumby”. I wanna read a story about French philosophers that happen to be dried fruit called LE CALIFORNIA RAISONS. Walkin’ around with toilet paper on...


9 hours ago

june 4 in idea barrages

Mask over both the nose and mouth, people. Remember the face mask rule “If you don’t look like the Shredder, you’re going to be deader.” Without life, there is no liberty or pursuit of happin...


2 days ago

june 3 in idea barrages

At a certain point, if we ever get to the other side of this, it will need to be The Time Of The Do-Overs. To grant them to other people, sure, but for God’s sake, to ourselves. We will need to...


2 days ago

june 2 in idea barrages

Alex Trebek over-pronounces “SOPH-O-MORE” like he is trying to chew through drywall while saying it. Despite a decade of college and internships, gynecologists and proctologists leave school ...


3 days ago

june 1 in idea barrages

Just because someone else refuses to accept your shared humanity doesn’t give you the right to do the same. Your commission to be humane is not thusly discharged. Violence only begets violence....


4 days ago

may 31 in idea barrages

She suggests that the solution to world hunger is to kill and eat every pop star other than her in Taylor Swift’s A Modest Proposal. Before it hatched, the Maltese Falcon was an egg maguffin....


6 days ago

may 30 in idea barrages

Rhea Pearlman was produced by forcing Rhea Oysterman to ingest grit and then waiting patiently. Yes but where are all the soft-boiled crime dramas? A leggy dame saunters into a detective’s of...


6 days ago

may 29 in idea barrages

Did the YOUNG FRANKENSTEIN musical have a “Do You Want To Build A Showman”? number? Maybe Herb didn’t eat a Whopper because they were herbicidal. The fraternity barely got a slap on the wri...


Bruce Springsteen was born Bryce Sherrinford the Fourth, of the Kennebunkport Sherrinfords, graduated Yale, rumored to have been Skull and Bones president his senior year and only took on the wor...


I was pulled from the earth by enslaved hands, in the beginning when I was just tufts of cotton, when all I wanted from life was to rise and spread seed, instead caught up with those men in the c...


May 26, 2020

may 28 in idea barrages

Rand Paul looks like the painting Elon Musk keeps in the attic to age for him. You down with no T.P.? YEAH YOU KNOW ME. You down with no T.P.? YEAH YOU KNOW ME. You down with no T.P.? CHECK T...


May 26, 2020

may 27 in idea barrages

I don’t know what would be in the cocktail “The Malty Falcon” I just know it’s a good name for one. The conservative movement sure love states rights when they take rights away from women and...


May 25, 2020

may 26 in idea barrages

You will cover television themes as death metal under the band name “Scooby Doom”. No, the weirdest pop-culture mash-up would be Taika Waluigi. You will cover goth music in the style of tin...


May 25, 2020

may 25 in idea barrages

Each gun bought thinking you’re making yourself safer makes the world more dangerous. Each violent threat you make against Power makes Power’s violent threats stronger & more justified. Bot...


May 23, 2020

may 24 in idea barrages

Step 1: purchase large amount of stick-on googly eyes. Step 2: whenever you see a Back to the Future related thing, paste them over Christopher Lloyd’s eyes. Step 3: wait. Step 4: every time so...


May 23, 2020

may 23 in idea barrages

When dolphins curse, it’s probably like “Ahhhhhhh SHARKS!” The Easter Bunuel, however, only leaves you surrealist dreams. If Arnold Schwarzenegger had shown up with an indecipherable gravel...


Pete Best never got to be full Beatles famous never got to be one of the four coolest guys in the entire world for a couple years there but then again no on...


May 21, 2020

may 22 in idea barrages

I absolutely despise how scatterbrained and distracted and forgetful the stress of this crisis has made me. I’m a little absentminded and in my own head on my best days but… to this extent, it ...


“Elective Cryogenic Hibernation”. That’s what the scientists called it. They’d theorized about it for generations, slowly evolving from whimsical fantasy plot-device (what was Rip Van Winkle othe...


May 20, 2020

may 21 in idea barrages

A prequel to The Sisterhood of the Magical Traveling Pants (or whatever) called BLOOMERSANG. Any address of a crowd of gummy bears must start with “Ladies and jellymen!” The idea that you h...


May 19, 2020

may 20 in idea barrages

We’re not marching to inevitable victory, my poor generation of Veruca Salts, we’re beating back the tids, teacup by teacup. If you really want a pony, you’ll have to wait for it to be born and...


May 19, 2020

may 19 in idea barrages

Imagine all the energy you’ve put into impossible things in your life. Now picture where you’d be, where the world could be, if you’d put all that into attainable goals instead. Passion is wond...


May 17, 2020

may 18 in idea barrages

They only call it “Active Dry Yeast” to shame the lethargic dry yeast. Name your son Lee and then raise him to be an MMA fighter, just so that at the end of his championship winning fight, yo...


May 16, 2020

may 17 in idea barrages

Hiding emergency information behind a paywall is journalistic malpractice, no matter how strapped your outlet, that is your field’s duty. And don’t say “well just enable ads!” as ads are malwar...


May 14, 2020

may 16 in idea barrages

You’re not important because of how smart you are, how good looking you are, how skilled you are, how rich you are, how loud you are, how much you’ve seen, how much you’ve done. You’re importan...


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