littlefallsmets ⋅ 46 ⋅
I write words, I sometimes get to perform them out, sometimes I'm even paid. And I'm trying to get it right, get it right.
with enough repetition, your flaws become your style
Entries 5,495
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j16 in idea barrages
I read someone referring to themselves as “natural blonde” and my eyes saw “neutral blonde” and instantly my brain generated a Hair Colour Alignment Chart for Dungeons and Dragons. I think m...
j14 in idea barrages
So, what you’re telling me is, Ben & Jerry didn’t do a DUNE tie-in dessert treat called FRANK SHERBERT? Really? If they’d only asked. I didn’t tell them because I figured it was too obvi...
j12 in idea barrages
Punky Brewster’s stereotypical Boston identical cousin Punky Worcester. A hack of Super Mario Brothers 2 to make it about the Flanders family from The Simpsons and it’s called “OKIE-DOKI...
The Worrier King sat upon his Throne of Doubts, as he so often did, and thought “What If?” as he often did as well. What if he’d not been such a miserable coward when he was young? What if he ha...
j10 in idea barrages
It’s weird being on a medicine for its intended purpose when it’s gotten so trendy for its off-label use. Like, man, I know you’re just trying to cut 20 pounds for beach season, but me, I’m ...
j8 in idea barrages
Paying for an ad-free online experience is like encouraging a school yard bully by giving him what he wants. You give him what he wants, next time he’ll be back for even more! You pay them, ...
j6 in idea barrages
Ask someone acting all sullen: “dude, who wamboed your Combos?” …how has Christopher Lloyd never played the Batman villain “Mr. Freeze”? It seems almost too obvious. Already has the “I w...
j4 in idea barrages
Perhaps olives have all been exposed to the horrors of the dating scene in their 30s and 40s, that’s why they’re so damned salty and bitter. I understand, olives, I really do. Getting yo...
prompt: now, title: once upon a time in misc. flash fiction
When she stumbled back to the campground alone, to the smell of her friends cooking eggs and roast-vegetables over the campfire, it was hardly a surprise. Sara-with-no-H who now preferred the na...
j2 in idea barrages
A stoner super-spy whose love interests are all named, like, Drugs O’Plenty or Maryjane Sweetleaf or whatever. Three word movie pitch: “Wreck It ALF”. Did they ever do a Supersoaker ...
m31 in idea barrages
In “Yo Yogi” I could never quite parse out whether the bear was wearing brown pants or whether that was the bear’s furry legs. The bear had a shirt & socks & shoes, possibly also ska...
m29 in idea barrages
Title something ENGLISH AS A FINAL LANGUAGE. You shouldn’t judge people by the haircuts of the people they’re dating. You shouldn’t. It doesn’t matter that you would be absolutely correc...
The doctors have all told me I’m the last person on Earth who has to die, that is to say, the last human being who will ever die of old age or the euphemistic “natural causes”. People can still ...
m27 in idea barrages
If I had THAT kind of confidence, man, I’d either be king by now or dead twenty years ago. Fearing the stigma of having actually declared bankruptcy, he attempted to file for Chapter Who...
m25 in idea barrages
Why say “polearm combat training” when you could say “staff development day”? You can’t spell Penelope without “elope” so stay safe out there. At least Love Me Do was never in a Moun...
m23 in idea barrages
Norm MacDonald would’a been the best version of The Joker ever to grace a silver screen. “Hey, yeah, guy, I’m the Joker, my name is Joker. Yeah! It’s a great name, yeah, it’s not bad. Anyway...
prompt: paid, title: see the usa in your chevrolet in poetry
There is nothing lonelier than the gas-station at the edge of town in a place you have never been before. When it’s your own town, or a town you know well, there’s something comforting about it,...
m21 in idea barrages
I hope that at Chuck E. Cheese’s funeral, they will somehow use the phrase “anchovs to anchovs, crust to crust” during the giant singing dancing mouse robot’s final internment in the Earth, ...
m19 in idea barrages
A solid name for a Southern gothic horror host character would be “Morguenolia”. In Canada, they call donut holes “Timbits”. Here in the Northeastern United States, we call them “Munchki...
m17 in idea barrages
What are your D&D character sheets if not rolling papers? The background noise from a living dead flick, that’s just zombiance. E.T. looked like a foreskin made a poop and I have...
m15 in idea barrages
“Why don’t pictures like this never trend?” Because they’re weird janky AI fakes, that’s why. Maybe if they were of real things that actually happened, sure, they would actually trend. But s...
prompt: still, title: a feeling of falling in misc. flash fiction
The good news is, you won’t remember this when you wake up in the morning. The bad news is, you won’t remember this when you wake up in the morning. This won’t be completely forgotten, of course...
m13 in idea barrages
Lately, Kid Rock looks like he’s been spending all day coating raw chicken in meth and then rubbing it all directly into his eyeballs. Combine the viral Wonka experience thing with all t...
m11 in idea barrages
The fourth less-well-known wise man brought, you know, diapers, formula, a baby carriage, stuff like that. He was the Practical Magi, see? Garfield is actually short for “Gartholomew”. ...
m9 in idea barrages
The weirdest thing about how around the bend on materialism we are is that, like, if you want your children to end up good people, the easiest way to make sure that never happens is to be ri...
