littlefallsmets ⋅ 39

I write words, I sometimes get to perform them out, sometimes I'm even paid. And I'm trying to get it right, get it right.

with enough repetition, your flaws become your style


Entries 3,229

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13 hours ago

july 23 in idea barrages

1.) We will open up a shop that sells you specific insults to snap back at your naysayers and we will call it DETRACTOR SUPPLY. 2.) Why did we call it a “flat top” when we could be calling it “cu...

1 day ago

july 22 in idea barrages

1.) If you break a bed, is that mattresscide? 2.) I didn’t keep up with the zeitgeist of the LION KING remake and didn’t write a Skynyrd parody called “Simba Kind of Man” and it’s my fault. I ble...

3 days ago

july 21 in idea barrages

1.) They spread rumors about “aliens” to throw Grandpa off atomic testing and stealth plane testing, now they’re getting you to submit your face-scans by making you look old or the opposite gende...

4 days ago

july 20 in idea barrages

1.) The next big gold mine is selling inessential oils. Useless oils you buy and display just to prove you have the money to waste on meaningless oils. 2.) I just wrote down “van. syrup” on a not...

5 days ago

july 19 in idea barrages

1.) The late 80s one-hit wonder for The Escape Club “The Wild Wild West” would be hilarious if covered in the style of Bob Dylan. 2.) On Twitter they’re always having a hate wave. A TOPICAL hate ...

I had no idea how badly it was all going to end but, then again, also I had no idea how long it would last. Waking up to the CPAP mask ripping off my face, being told her mother would be there wi...

6 days ago

july 18 in idea barrages

1.) Less “fake it til you make it” more “go with it til you grow with it”. 2.) I am offended that Amazon picked a non-prime date for “Prime Day”. 715 is utterly divisible by 5. 3.) Planning for ...

Reports of the disorder started bubbling up through medical journals sporadically beginning in the mid Twenty-Twenties but at first no one but cutting-edge researchers took it seriously. The whol...

7 days ago

july 17 in idea barrages

1.) Your really posh rap group will be called Haughty By Nature. 2.) The most revolutionary thing we could add to the Star Wars universe would be, like, a planet with more than one biome. Like a ...

July 14, 2019

july 16 in idea barrages

1.) “WORKERS OF THE CHEESECAKE FACTORY UNITE! SEIZE THE MEANS OF CHEESECAKE PRODUCTION!” would be one hell of a bumper sticker. 2.) Your Electric Light Orchestra parody about Rachel Ray will be c...

July 13, 2019

july 15 in idea barrages

1.) The realization that in 2019 if “WKRP in Cincinatti” were real, it would now just be an unmanned station that repeated a Tony or Jack satellite programming feed beamed out from like Scottsdal...

July 12, 2019

july 14 in idea barrages

1.) One of the few things sadder than having a kid thinking it will save your doomed relationship is having a kid thinking it will save your played-out youtube channel. 2.) Tagline: “Ain’t No Rul...

July 11, 2019

july 13 in idea barrages

1.) Remember WHY “militia” is so pivotal to the 2nd Amendment. It was never about arming people to overthrow an oppressive gov’t, it was a sop to slaveowners who wanted armed militia with which t...

July 11, 2019

crazy in poetry

those great “crazy geniuses” did their best most valued and well-remembered work during extended periods of lucidity and/or recovery the works of “madness” were generally crap either ...

July 11, 2019

always in poetry

listen there were always gay folk there were always trans folk just now they’re coming forward react with love and understanding and not...

July 11, 2019

crossroads in poetry

no guitar or crossroad is required if you want to sell off your soul you just need a three-piece suit you just need a heart like a hole the devil no longer waits at the city’s edges li...

July 11, 2019

students alone in poetry

rebellion’s hard to get done when they’ve got us all pressed down check-to-check and deep in debt and on the run forever let’s be real the crushing student and medical debt heaped on mil...

July 10, 2019

completion in poetry

I’ll be whole when I’m dead which sounds depressing but actually its goddamn joyous as long as I am imperfect flawed and uncompleted I can grow and learn I can evolve and change ...

July 10, 2019

july 12 in idea barrages

1.) If you view every movie about a scruffy lovable dog on Netflix in one sitting, that’s called Benjwatching. 2.) Hark, what malady vexes yon varlets where they would besmirch my lady fair/what ...

July 09, 2019

july 11 in idea barrages

1.) A parody about Zeus’s terrible vengeance called “Greek Lightning”? 2.) Sadly, the one-eyed one-horned flying purple-people eater was driven to extinction through its overly exclusive diet. Th...

July 08, 2019

july 10 in idea barrages

1.) Amoungst the Fremen of Arrakis in DUNE, the most popular contraceptive technique was the “don’t walk with rhythm” method. 2.) Nobody WANTS to hear you sing “Total Eclipse Of The Heart” purpos...

July 07, 2019

july 9 in idea barrages

1.) When complaining about how things are different from the past, at least consider that there might be a reason why the way it used to be doesn’t work anymore. Just because the past was your pa...

July 06, 2019

july 8 in idea barrages

1.) (They don’t care that he’s so stupid he’d claim there were airplanes in the 1700s if that’s what the teleprompter says. He legitimizes their horrifying racism, that’s all they want out of him...

July 05, 2019

july 7 in idea barrages

1.) One thing that’s good in our cultural landscape: Duncan Yo-Yos never tried busting out a “Duncan Means Yolos” ad jingle to try and appeal to the kids. 2.) Is someone who studies the high scho...

July 04, 2019

july 6 in idea barrages

1.) I wonder how long it takes for internet culture to ingrain into our psychoses and the new delusions will instead erroneously believe that they are NOT being watched all the time. 2.) I’m stil...

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