littlefallsmets ⋅ 43

I write words, I sometimes get to perform them out, sometimes I'm even paid. And I'm trying to get it right, get it right.

with enough repetition, your flaws become your style


Entries 4,563

Page 1 of 183

1 hour ago

sep 30 in idea barrages

A song called “Last Easter” by a band called Sacrificial Wham. A parody of “Take Me Home, Country Roads” about Mad Max: Fury Road. A parody of “Up on Cripple Creek” about OnlyFans involving...

My library gig and my love of baseball have one thing in common: they both bring my childhood back around when I least expect it. Explaining our local quartz exhibit by producing a “diamond” my f...

2 days ago

sept 28 in idea barrages

In Soviet Russia, camp went to ERNEST. Everyone’s always getting pedantic or metaphysical about who we should call Frankenstein when the real truth is that Big Head Todd was the REAL monster ...

Hydro-Man and Sandman fell in love summoned up a silty flood made their baby out of mud thicker than radioactive blood stronger than any man or spider coin flip as their gend...

4 days ago

sept 26 in idea barrages

A semi-autobiographical novel about being a burnt-out former Gifted and Talented late-Gen-Xer in the post COVID hellscape called “The Trauma Bums”. A creation bard who worked as a sideshow ba...

5 days ago

sept 24 in idea barrages

When wrestling had Bobby “The Brain” Heenan and Jesse “The Body” Ventura, at best, at very best, I could’a been “The Limbic System”. If you’re mostly a martial character but you pick up a lit...

7 days ago

the real folk blues in poetry

now I’m no John Henry but I am a still-driven man and I’m no Paul Bunyan but I’m standing as tall as I can I’m no Johnny Apples still I’m sewing the seeds of my plans I...

Most technological advances become routine after a decade or two. It’s a quirk of our incredibly short lives. It needs to work like that for people to not go crazy. The wheel or radio, the intern...

7 days ago

se 22 in idea barrages

Santo Claus, the Santa for luchadores, is making a list. He’s double-checking if it’s true, though. He’s going to find out if you’re tecnico or rudo. If you have a blorbo that you don’t REALL...

September 20, 2022

sometimes in poetry

sometimes you defecate and you just defecate you ate some food and what was left had to go it happens and you move on it’s just part of your day that’s just part of life you barely remember i...

September 19, 2022

se 20 in idea barrages

It’s a competition show where you see who can make fun of short-term-thinking society-ruining profiteer vulture capitalists the best and it’s called SNARK TANK. If Nick Drake was a DUCKTALES ...

September 18, 2022

se 18 in idea barrages

It’s not magical pesto if you don’t use real basilisk. If you’re a billionaire & you wanna watch Tolkien, you hire a bunch of height-challenged folks to act it out for you while being han...

We must’ve looked like idiots up there in the Thruway overpass, shadows cast against those long nights and the longer highway beneath us and we probably were. Indistinct shapes pumping arms at sp...

September 14, 2022

sep 16 in idea barrages

A burlesque-based exercise programme called “The Total Bawdy Workout”. Calling the influences of North and South America on Europe “The Columbian Exchange” is like if you got mugged in the mi...

September 14, 2022

sep 14 in idea barrages

Why say “scissoring” when you could say “WAP battle”? Why say “I can’t go out, I have class, I’m trying to pick up Spanish as a second language” when you can say “I have hablagations”? I se...

September 14, 2022

sep 12 in idea barrages

Build a loxodon barbarian in 5e and call it “Conan The Babarian”. Decades later I realized CROCODILE DUNDEE had a scene with a bidet in it but they missed the trick of the obvious line “B’det...

September 14, 2022

sep 10 in idea barrages

If you think about it, the story of America being torn down and sold for scrap by next-financial-quarter short-term-thinking vulture capitalists is really just the story of executive dysfunctio...

September 14, 2022

sep 8 in idea barrages

Grover’s “There’s A Monster At The End Of This Book” but it’s “There’s A Person Undermining You At The End Of This Book” and the last page has an aluminum foil mirror on it. I’m starting to t...

September 05, 2022

sept 6 in idea barrages

Rob Zombie’s full birth name is actually Robert Zombert. I mean, I COULD do a whole album of parodies about Dune, yes I could. “How Bizarre” so easily become “Gom Jabbar”. “Gom Jab-BAR! Gom j...

September 03, 2022

sept 4 in idea barrages

I like my coffee the way I like my shaming fake psychics: medium roast. Until we have perfected AI and robotics, every chemist is and will be an organic chemist. I hope the collective term ...

September 03, 2022

sept 2 in idea barrages

A hipster band called “Ed MacMandalorian”. An RPG about inn management called “Bedrooms And Breakfasts”. Donuts festooned with gummi worms called “nightcrullers”. If you think about it, t...

In the beginning, there was a light. A brilliant light. A hot searing light. An endless light. This light illuminated all, that all was everything. Everything was already there and that everythin...

August 30, 2022

an agnostic's prayer in poetry

wear me out, Lord give me that at least make this confusing life so exhausting that when it all comes to an end when I finally lay dying I will be so fucking tired I will be...

August 29, 2022

aug 30 in idea barrages

If you think about it, every school backpack is a textbook case. They’ll need a fully-licensed rain dancer, weather permitting. A head canon where Charlie Brown grows up to write under the ...

August 29, 2022

aug 28 in idea barrages

There are worse band names to grab than “Bootie and The Hofish” at this point. Carport diem. Seize the parking space! I feel like the “Friday” movies and the “Friday the 13th” movies could ...

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