Entries 5,356

Page 1 of 215

A goofily cartoon-y exaggerated version of Buddhism called Karmic Sans. Petition to set the Scarlet Witch’s birthday as June 1st, so that some day someone can insert a sick “Happy birthd...

---

The Hedonic Treadmill is real. The more empty-pleasures you chase, the more empty-pleasures you’re gonna need and the more it’s going to hurt when you can’t get another even larger empty pleasur...

---

I like to believe that Mr. Potatohead’s first name is Starchibald. Mister Starchibald Potatohead, Esquire. When they tell you you’re superior to some other group, they’re just setting yo...

---

Another good name for a band? “Sexpiration Date”. Whenever Superman shows up to an art reception, he is always disappointed by the metaphorical meaning of “light refreshments”, what with...

---

“Fuck me dude” is equally the statement of a horny surfer and a depressed pirate. Why call it “swinger looking for a unicorn” when you can call it “the three-body problem”? No one sa...

---

Back in college, before he got into silver and gold mining, he was known as Futon Cornelius. Was “Fred Flintstone” short for “Frederock Flintstone”? Why call it a “tenderizer” when y...

---

You could’ve cut the tension in their council chambers with a knife. Not some ordinary knife. A cold iron blade, a sword with a silvered edge, a weapon otherwise blessed or cursed to exploit a n...

---

Just saw a news article where a slumlord called their exploitive abusive slum tenement apartment buildings “multi-family affordable housing”. Bad enough to abuse your renters like that but t...

---

Remember when Taylor Swift was country and Beyonce did dance pop? The shifting sands of cultural presentation are wild. Training AI to summon deathless eldritch star-spawn would be calle...

---

The end-game of fame is ending up with your song in an ad for a chain restaurant you would’ve sneered at as mass-market trash when you were young. There aren’t many upsides to failure, but s...

---

The good news was they had finally, in earnest, begun to wrestle with the scientific challenges of breaking our reliance on fossil fuel, for once and for all. Better news yet was that they did i...

---

THAT’S what Andrew Tate looks like. A tiny dwarf edgelord version of Jon Cryer’s take on Lex Luthor! With “Buckees” and “Stuckeys” being the two most powerful forces on the highways of t...

---

Why say “strip bar” when you can say “privates club”? Current brain status: mashing up Chuck E Cheese and the Make Believe Band’s “Disco Dancing Dinosaur Party” with the theme song to t...

---

A film about opening a brothel in the suburbs of Utica called ORISKANY BUSINESS. A book about all the ways you are screwing yourself over by acting like a jerk called THE KARMA SUTRA. ...

---

A parody of the Beach Boys “Barbara Ann” about Baba Yaga. A starship full of Space Puritans and the line “set phasers to SHUN”. A role-playing game NPC shopkeeper named “Dealy Stan” ...

---

Objectivity’s a comforting and convenient lie. There’s no such thing, of course? Everything we do or see is shaped by the context of the moment and the perspectives of the participants, but it f...

---

And then, of course, there is the unholy mash-up of THE AVENGERS and PAN, “Mark Rufio”. I like to call that forest-y northwestern bit of New Jersey “Fool’s Pennsylvania”. Why say “on...

---

A really weird parody would, of course, be TOTAL ECLIPSE OF PAUL BLART. I just realized that Denise Crosby is basically the Pete Best of Star Trek and maybe the Pete Best of all science ...

---

No past action justifies proactive violence now. Maybe we have to be violent in direct self-defense, time to time, but no ancient wrong makes hurting someone else now right. The past is gone...

---

You were born with a little lump of coal inside your chest, so was I. So was everyone. You know, metaphorically? But it doesn’t stay that way. What life does to you and what you’ve chosen to do ...

---

You know what would be a terrible name for a food? GUNCHABLES. Mrs. Claus’s first name is Mary. Her maiden name was Mary Christmas. That moment where you realized, nah, I was actuall...

---

I hope the bug messiah turns out to be a carpenter ant. A parody of “Let My Love Open The Door” about the NES game Milon’s Secret Castle? A punk band called CAPE FIERI. I like to...

---

Your “G.I. Joe Babies” pitch will be entitled “INFANTrymen”. You don’t get to choose the toppings, you’ll take what you can get, that’s the genius of the Impersonal Pan Pizza. After ...

---

Seeing VHS for WAKING NED DEVINE fills my head with the song “Fisherman’s Blues” by The Waterboys, in that way the trailer for every other movie in the history of Miramax used that song. I d...

---

There are almost always two of me inside my head. I don’t mean that in a Jekyll-and-Hyde way or a split-personality way or even in a multiverse kind of a way, it’s far more mundane than any of t...

---