littlefallsmets ⋅ 40

I write words, I sometimes get to perform them out, sometimes I'm even paid. And I'm trying to get it right, get it right.

with enough repetition, your flaws become your style


Entries 3,310

Page 1 of 133

3 hours ago

sept 18 in idea barrages

A dual purpose rolling pin and bowling pin called “the meta-pin”. A butterfly is just a moth with a P.R. flack on retainer. Only today did I realize that the Blockbuster Video logo looked o...

1 day ago

sept 17 in idea barrages

The Marvel hero Daredevil cannot see, the Marvel hero Echo cannot hear. We are only three more heroes away from a juggernaut of a vigilante team called Senseless Violence. “We’ve heard legend...

2 days ago

sept 16 in idea barrages

Sugar We’re Going Down Swinging by Fall Out Boy is the exact same song as Creed My Sacrifice and… it makes sense. Fear makes you stupid. If I could chisel any phrase into stone as humanity’s ...

3 days ago

sept 15 in idea barrages

The irony of EZ pass, a line of 3 tractors waiting for ease while I in my station wagon claim my ticket from a human and keep moving on. If it is possible that your action will be appreciated...

“That’s impossible,” Phil heard a familiar man’s voice saying, despite being nearly asleep, “that can’t be me.” “It is, Philip,” he heard a second voice, unmistakably female, authoritative and ye...

4 days ago

sept 14 in idea barrages

Your band will cover Imagine Dragons songs on renaissance instrumentation and call itself IMAGINE DUNGEONS. No, the best name for a rapper in 2019 would be “Jung Milwaukee”. If WATERWORLD ...

5 days ago

storytime in poetry

we are all of us just complicated bundles of interiorized narrative both foisted upon us and alternately self-invented we are all of us just stories briefly bound to t...

5 days ago

sept 13 in idea barrages

Don’t call them “The Spice Girls”, that’s disrespectful, they prefer “The Bene Geserit Sisterhood”. I’m sure the car brand “KIA” means something in some other language but I, personally, woul...

The Magic Castle is real. Even if you think I’m just some crackpot ranting about sasquatches, go on the internet, look it up. The internet is, after all, the footnotes to everything. The footnote...

6 days ago

sept 12 in idea barrages

In the 80s, you probably should’ve changed your name to Lawrence Aaron Times and sold positive quotes about movies under your nickname “L.A.” to crappy direct-to-VHS releases for their boxes. ...

7 days ago

sept 11 in idea barrages

The grossest Halloween food product you could make to trend online but wouldn’t be good: “candy-cornish game hen”. I am probably, like, the cauliflower crust pizza of men. Like, I am probably...

September 09, 2019

sept 10 in idea barrages

Medical fashion: a catwalk where all the designs are made out of CVS receipts. No, the nerdiest parody ever would be about Deep Space Nine and be called Trilling Me Softly (With This Slug). ...

September 08, 2019

sept 9 in idea barrages

I kind of want to put a domino mask on a Halloween skeleton in hopes someone asks why so I can stare them straight in the eye and say “He’s The Bone Ranger”. The Jedi Council tried explaining...

September 07, 2019

sept 8 in idea barrages

Shaming people for needing a calculator is textbook toxic mathulinity. Corrupt billionaires lord over their cities by plucking desperate young boys from the ghettos & boonies, throwing th...

September 06, 2019

sept 7 in idea barrages

I mean, what if it turns out that the cure to all diseases was eating those little compressed sponges that turn into dinosaurs in hot water? What if they’d just soak up all the germs but no one...

September 05, 2019

sept 6 in idea barrages

Whenever someone calls that part of the wedding “THE RING CEREMONY” it sounds like a badass ritual from an epic fantasy battle but nah. Your running-a-restaurant roleplaying game will be call...

September 04, 2019

sept 5 in idea barrages

Whenever a gun nut starts talking about “trigger discipline”, yell “ROY ROGERS TREATED HIS HORSE LIKE A CHERISHED FRIEND!” You take the good, you take the bad/you take them both and there you...

September 03, 2019

sept 4 in idea barrages

On a long enough scale of time and weight fluctuation, Meatloaf and Quentin Tarantino will eventually become twins. Your video game about Juuling that will never actually be released will be ...

September 02, 2019

sept 3 in idea barrages

Some cast i-Ching, some consult cards, some watch stars. I guess I dabble in frequomancy. I hit scan on the radio and listen for songs speaking to my situation. It’s silly, it probably means no...

September 01, 2019

sept 2 in idea barrages

If you’re having pumpkin spice anything before there’s actual pumpkins with which to make actual fresh pumpkin syrup, you aren’t having a “pumpkin spice” nothing, you’re paying Starbucks extra ...

I couldn’t tell you the full chemical name, I can’t even write it, let alone pronounce it. Tetra-hydro-morpho-something. I’m no scientist, I can’t pretend to be. Most called it its marketing name...

August 31, 2019

sept opener in idea barrages

Your line of marijuana-infused chicken nuggets will be called “Fat Nugz”. You will be a billionaire. The realization that Sublime “bad fish” and 4 Non Blondes “what’s up” are the exact same s...

August 30, 2019

august capstone in idea barrages

A Shakespeare inspired craft beer called Lambic Pentameter. If you like NY style pizza, Chicago style pizza, California style pizza, all kinds of pizza, you are panpizza. If you have an ove...

August 30, 2019

small wonders in poetry

Don’t let your world get small. Don’t hole yourself up inside an idea or an identity. Don’t hole yourself up between four literal walls. Nothing will drive you crazier than if you letting you...

August 30, 2019

the moral event horizon in poetry

don’t think of yourself as a “good person” think of yourself as a person trying to be good if you believe you’re good you’ll probably get lazy possibly lose perspective or even worse yet be...

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