littlefallsmets ⋅ 45 ⋅
I write words, I sometimes get to perform them out, sometimes I'm even paid. And I'm trying to get it right, get it right.
with enough repetition, your flaws become your style
Entries 5,167
Page 1 of 207
Just a little snooze to whet the palate for the bigger sleep later. A nappertif, if you will. Why call it your “pornography stash” when you can call it your “thirst aid kit”? You cou...
j20 in idea barrages
A parody of MAMMA MIA about mild edema. The M&M mascots are unsavoury characters. The pop mythology of Thanksgiving is gross & weird & racist, but we can decouple it from...
j18 in idea barrages
Maybe the REAL monster was the friend Frankenstein made along the way. Keurig machines are so janky that after about six months, every one of them has this specific series of extra opera...
prompt: hint, title: the bill comes due in misc. flash fiction
It really is all your fault, y’know. The horrible state of the world, the fire and ice, the floods, the earthquakes. The rising tide of fascism, the collapse of nations, the existence of that ‘r...
j16 in idea barrages
Why call them “tree ornaments” when you could call them “branch dressing”? Wars within an aristocracy to reshape the monarchy can be an heir-shaving experience I think it’d be fun if...
j14 in idea barrages
A kids book about Santa’s housecat, Felix Navidad. If your feet hurt while astral projecting, you might be suffering from planar fasciitis. A moment of feeling genuinely good looking...
j12 in idea barrages
I now demand a sequel to Angels in the Outfield where Satan helps New Jersey win a Stanley Cup called DEVILS ON THE ICE. I now demand slangs for ALL the D&D stats, Rizz, Stitz, Genz,...
j10 in idea barrages
A parody of THE BLACK PARADE about psychology would have to start with the line “when I was / a Jung boy / my father / took me into the city / to see a Freudian”. You can’t use art to fo...
prompt: draw, title: the pun is always intended in misc. flash fiction
I own a laser-disc of 1962’s ‘The Manchurian Candidate’ which starred Frank Sinatra and Angela Lansbury. My brother Dan bought it for me as a gift and I love it. Now, this isn’t because I’m any ...
j8 in idea barrages
It’d be about, like, a goth girl detective, like a goth Nancy Drew and it’d be called MORBID CURIOSITY. No one had told me that Lou Barlow from Dinosaur Jr had slowly morphed into a tiny...
j6 in idea barrages
Is there anything sadder in college football than celebrating “bowl eligibility”? Congrats, you won six games, 3 of which were against directional cupcakes. You get to play in a game named ...
j4 in idea barrages
People who decorate for Christmas before Thanksgiving lack elf-control. The worst part of THE LAND BEFORE TIME was how the fat little stubby dinosaur seemed to have a vulgar “o-face” in ...
j2 in idea barrages
You better watch out. You better not cry. You better not pout. I’m telling you why, Vulcans repress all their emotions. The only way to make William Joel’s “Piano Man” even slightly inte...
dec 31 in idea barrages
It baffles me when folks try to use relationships to change someone instead of going after someone who has the traits they want from the start but I guess that’s our culture. You grab onto w...
dec 29 in idea barrages
When you type “happy b-day!” on social media, my brain reads it as “happy bidet!” I like to believe that somewhere there exists his good twin, a humble and mentally stable man named Kan...
dec 27 in idea barrages
And then there is, of course, Olive’s new-age cousin Essential Oyl. The estate attorney couldn’t help herself, she was so attracted to you, she tried to hold you against your will. T...
song as summary in "the next big thing" flash fiction
I was sitting in the Dennys at Sunset and Gower, I was staring in my empty coffee cup. I was thinking that my friend Frank had been lying, he said we’d meet there for a few late-night coffees, b...
a barrage for chrimbo in idea barrages
An Undertale graphic novel would involve comic Sans. Fencers, practice your dodges and jukes against a genuine fainting couch. Now, if you’ve been bad little boys and girls, the Toot...
dec 23 in idea barrages
It’s just vodka, tonic water and blue curaçao. It’s a Vodka Sonic. When someone overvalues possibility against what they have, you say “a bird in the hand’s worth two in the bush”. When ...
dec 21 in idea barrages
Youtube knife nerd videos are the best place to gather stage names. If I’m ever a NASCAR driver, you will know me as “Rust Magnacut”. If we only voted for the person who agreed with us o...
“But… we’re going out in style!” she yelled as she ran into the bedroom, a real Dapper Danielle in her very best suit, throwing her wife’s prettiest sundress onto her, even as she wept upon thei...
dec 19 in idea barrages
Why say he was “killed when he was hit by a car” when you could say he had an “auto immune deficiency”? A movie about class conflict amoungst merpeople called THE GILLED AGE. If you...
the c.e.o. blues in poetry
all the dumbest assholes do cocaine all the dumbest assholes do cocaine how dumb’s a motherfucker gotta be to need to speed up in his brains? all the dumbest assholes do cocaine all the ch...
dec 17 in idea barrages
A software mod can be a real game changer. The real mistake in Space Force was the name. The Air Force isn’t the Sky Force, Space Force should’ve been called The Vacuum Force. That would...
dec 15 in idea barrages
I’d love to read film review very low expectations being barely met. “It wasn’t too long, it was brightly colored, the performers attractive, a fine excuse to purchase children’s snacks in p...
