littlefallsmets ⋅ 41

I write words, I sometimes get to perform them out, sometimes I'm even paid. And I'm trying to get it right, get it right.

with enough repetition, your flaws become your style

@Cecconi140

Entries 4,206

Page 1 of 169

1 day ago

july 30 in idea barrages

A strident screed about Italian cuisine is a manipesto. So did the Muadib show up in Space Jam and make it SPICE JAM or… If you morph your hands into bird talons and rip his genitals off be...


1 day ago

july 29 in idea barrages

Jimmy Buffet’s arraignment of “O Fortuna” called “Carmina Bahamas”. Closed-casket for the peering-impaired. Make a bike out of copy paper and call it a “stationery bicycle”. The only thin...


1 day ago

july 28 in idea barrages

“Once You Pop, You Don’t Stop” and “You Can’t Eat Just One” are both just a hair away from the slogan “YOU WILL BECOME PHYSICALLY ADDICTED TO THESE CHIPS”. GIMME THE BEANS, BOYS, TO FILL THIS...


“I am what I am and that’s all what I am,” the old sailor muttered, half to himself, half to no one, “and I guess what I am is tired. Just tired.” He still clenched that corn cob pipe between his...


4 days ago

july 27 in idea barrages

A Japanese video game about childrens’ dances called HOKEY POKEY PANIC. Does Optimus Prime poop from his semi colon? Sometimes, you just want to wear a shirt with the word SANDWICH on it, i...


4 days ago

july 26 in idea barrages

Cross-stitch is some hard Emmanuel labor. As we are around 80% water, occasionally we must drink something that’s 80% alcohol, to balance it out, you know, from time to time. A woodworking ...


4 days ago

july 25 in idea barrages

“Ten billion,” he whispered. “Thanks,” she replied, “that means a lot to me.” The Terminator statue at the El Rancho Drive-In looks almost exactly like Lou Reed. It’s amazing. Loki, riding ...


7 days ago

july 24 in idea barrages

In Soviet Russia, dragons imagine YOU! I can’t believe that the fragility of American masculinity hasn’t tried to re-brand male pedicures as “getting your bronails done”. The heart of a neu...


7 days ago

july 23 in idea barrages

Slugging percentage is pretty, it’s flashy, have a fun weekend with it but it’ll eventually ghost you, let you down. On-base percentage, man, if it consistently singles and walks, you put a rin...


7 days ago

july 22 in idea barrages

A Lou Reed themed breakfast cereal called Metal Machine Mueslix. If the machine we’re supposed to rage against is Machine Gun Kelly, all the better. The first rule of Oak Club is orc hits y...


July 19, 2021

july 21 in idea barrages

…HI, I’m on Wings, WHAT, I’m on Wings, WHO, I’m on Wings, wicka-wick, TIM DALY… A start-up website for potato recipes: SPUDIFY. Like a great airship felled by the awful summer weather, I sc...


July 19, 2021

july 20 in idea barrages

How much juul could a Jewel juul juul if a Jewel juul could juul juul? The first rule of Floral Club is “mums the word”. The second rule of Floral Club is “mums the word”. Monday, July 5th ...


July 19, 2021

july 19 in idea barrages

Can Bobcat Goldthwait do a distant sequel to SHAKES THE CLOWN called SHAKES ON A PLANE? Listened to a Neko Case song about how people were looked down on for being from Tacoma… and I thought ...


July 19, 2021

the fix in poetry

you break and you put yourself back together and you break and you put yourself back together again you break and you’re never quite the same as the last you reassemble on the fly f...


One of the most common ice-breakers is that eons-old question “if you could go back in time to anywhere in history, where would you go?” and while in theory it can be telling, in practice, the an...


July 16, 2021

july 18 in idea barrages

Neil Degrasse Tyson haughtily explaining that Science Diet is not actually made of science, it is just pet food. A film about the glorious battle to evict the boringness that is IKEA from Ame...


July 16, 2021

july 17 in idea barrages

BLACK PANTHER 3: FINDING NAMOR I found those Geico ads irritating immediately, right from the gecko. England should colonize lower Oregon just so that their regent there could be called the...


July 16, 2021

july 16 in idea barrages

“No no no, my uncle works at Apple,” he said, “that’s why I got my hands on the greatest upgrade of all… the jPhone.” On the one hand, Yogi never tells us if he’s comparing himself to the ave...


When I was a little boy living in a little place, the television served as my only connection to the larger world I longed for and my ability to distinguish between reality and fiction was tenuou...


July 13, 2021

july 15 in idea barrages

I guess I’ll have to write my parody of Free Fallin’ about Phil Collins eventually. Twitter has become J. Jonah Jameson, banging the table demanding TRAILERS OF SPIDER-MAN! RESOLVED: feet c...


July 13, 2021

july 14 in idea barrages

“open the maze, get on the floor, everybody fuck the minotaur” Your punk band will be called BORN ON THE FILTH OF JULY. Just saw an ad for some scam weight-loss thing called Nugenix and… ar...


July 13, 2021

july 13 in idea barrages

Whenever Marvel introduces the Hercules character into live-action, there are going to be SO MANY Locules shippers. I wonder if women in retirement homes refer to booty calls as “getting some...


July 11, 2021

july 12 in idea barrages

Don’t mind me, just signing Rammstein songs about Star Trek Voyager. TU. TUVOK. TUVOK IS. TUVOK IS RAD DUDE. It was such a huge herb garden he lost track of thyme. “Never be content” is pro...


July 11, 2021

july 11 in idea barrages

Don’t mind me, just signing Rammstein songs about Star Trek Voyager. TU. TUVOK. TUVOK IS. TUVOK IS RAD DUDE. It was such a huge herb garden he lost track of thyme. “Never be content” is pro...


July 11, 2021

july 10 in idea barrages

If you own the world’s greatest race-horse and you don’t name it “Haulin’ Oates” you do not deserve to own that majestic creature, let alone to profit off its labours. You just let that thing f...


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