littlefallsmets ⋅ 42

I write words, I sometimes get to perform them out, sometimes I'm even paid. And I'm trying to get it right, get it right.

with enough repetition, your flaws become your style

@Cecconi140

Entries 4,469

Page 1 of 179

18 hours ago

may 18 in idea barrages

At the GLAAD awards, is the celebrity swag bag a GLAAD bag? Today I learned, in an earlier version of Dungeons & Dragons, there was a spell called “Protection from Law” and I just think, ...


1 day ago

may 16 in idea barrages

When they change the actors playing Ronald MacDonald, that’s a McRegeneration. You know what would be worse than Yahoo Serious? His lascivious cousin, Yahoo Sensuous. But what is a wizard’s...


Sir Gladhand had surely seen the world and, as he watched, the world had just as surely passed him by. He was a hero a dozen times over for whatever that mattered but lately it didn’t feel as tho...


3 days ago

may 14 in idea barrages

Here’s the title for the worst movie ever: WHEN FIERI MET SALLY. Do ghosts consider the whole bed-sheet costume thing an offensive stereotype? A group of Kryptonian criminals escape the Pha...


6 days ago

may 12 in idea barrages

CHARLIE DON’T SMURF. How was there not a mid 90s Ren and Stimpy rip-off on the off-hours of Cartoon Network called SOUR CREAM AND BUNION? It just FEELS like there would’ve been one. The onl...


May 10, 2022

may 10 in idea barrages

Ripley’s Believe It Or Not! updated for the modern era: Ripley’s Don’t Need Your Validation! You know what would be a really weird video game that you could never get the IP rights to make? H...


May 08, 2022

may 8 in idea barrages

we have pets so we can pretend we’re not crazy people talking to ourselves now I wanna write a Beastie Boys parody in the character of the Beagle Boys from Duck Tales “Fast X” sounds like a...


May 08, 2022

may 6 in idea barrages

Put the “disco” into “disconcerting”! All about that bass, bout that bass, NO DIGGITY. The realization that just as April Fools is the worst day to prank because it’s ruined by the amateurs...


May 04, 2022

may 4 in idea barrages

Claiming that you cannot be prosecuted for a crime committed at the Outback Steakhouse because the sign says “no rules, just right” is LITERALLY more coherent a legal argument than anything bro...


May 01, 2022

may 2 in idea barrages

Imagine using the term “based” unironically. I kind of hope the Eastern Orthodox Church has a version of the Easter Bunny called The Eastern Bunny. He’d probably be about the same but he’d co...


April 30, 2022

april 30 in idea barrages

It’s the new foundational text on the topic of noodles, it’s a real manipesto. Sometimes I think about Hank Williams the 3rd, having to play split sets of the metal he loves with the country ...


April 29, 2022

april 28 in idea barrages

You could make a continuing podcast about how terrible the Star Wars prequels were & never run out of material. You would have to get more & more granular over the decades, sure, but th...


April 26, 2022

april 26 in idea barrages

Your band will now be named “Wario Argento”. Trust me, this is for the best. My favourite kind of unreliable narrator is the kind that THINKS they’re utterly reliable, BELIEVES they’re tellin...


April 23, 2022

april 24 in idea barrages

Garfield, hitch-hiking down a rural road with a guitar strapped to his back. A bumper sticker on his guitar case. It reads “This Machine Hates Mondays”. Those who see a partner who’s totally ...


April 22, 2022

april 22 in idea barrages

Cake Boss presumes an opposing force, a Cake Union, to save the humble Cakeman from the oppression of the Cakemachine. As foretold in the novel, THE CAKE JUNGLE. A snuggie but it has the text...


“It’s a fool-proof plan,” she told her, “it’s a fool-proof plan and you know it. It’s like shooting fish in a barrel.” Her sister looked at her askance, a brief silence punctuated by rifle exchan...


April 19, 2022

april 20 in idea barrages

Did the other ghosts consider Slimer to be a traitor to his kind, more or less peaceably living with the enemy? Did they develop slurs to throw at him? “Hey, skinlover, save some hot dogs for t...


April 17, 2022

april 18 in idea barrages

You know how you’re instantly skeptical of every headline on April 1st where only the lamest try to lie? Take that approach to social & regular media the other 364 & you’ll be ok. The O...


April 15, 2022

april 16 in idea barrages

I still don’t get why they don’t counter-program against the college basketball playoffs with a Simpsons marathon called “Marge Madness”. There’s only, like, 35,000 half hour episodes of that s...


April 13, 2022

april 14 in idea barrages

Step 1: join a D&D campaign. Step 2: create a female variant-human war-domain cleric named “Saint Edna Vincent Melee”. Step 3: ??? Step 4: Profit. A group of people all exit the grocery s...


April 11, 2022

april 12 in idea barrages

If you’re often feeling blue at night, that could just be your Cerulean Rhythm. How have Timothee Chalamet and M. Night Shyamalan not collaborated yet? Maybe in a remake of Phenomenon. The...


April 09, 2022

april 10 in idea barrages

They’re making all the venial sins into mortal sins these days. It’s sinflation. Andrew Garfield presumes the existence of Andrew Odie. What is pregnancy but swelling in reaction to a nut a...


Using a bus inside Los Angeles as a means of transportation is about as efficacious as putting a note inside a bottle then hurling it into the Pacific Ocean is in terms of means of communication....


April 07, 2022

april 8 in idea barrages

Ankles? More like ACHE-les, amiright? (Please, weather, make up your mind so my legs and back stop hurting.) Top Chef assumes the existence of Bottom Chef and that’d probably be a more intere...


April 05, 2022

april 6 in idea barrages

A running an inn in a roleplaying game universe simulator game called LUNCHEONS AND FLAGONS. Sizzler was just the city Ponderosa. In the end the closest thing we have to magic on this munda...


Books 8


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