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1.) If something’s in the back of the fridge for a while, you can pretend you ate it over the last few days even through you ate it all at 3AM.
2.) Tell the artist “Oh man, that was great! That w...
all the beans are ground
in this small cafe
nearly fell asleep
driving here today
something strong and warm
and then I’ll be okay
caffeine come my way
I will star...
try to keep yourself mentally-liminal
make your mind into a supercollider
crash ideas together at the speed of light
go bathe yourself in the subatomic spray
so brilliant you can’t sleep at n...
in a thousand years in ten thousand years
the priests and the scholars will still
have things to argue about in history
whether its in holograms or in hovels
in cave paintings...
oh to be oh to be
Mycroft in Diogenes
no more words to speak
all the words you can see
with a secret purpose but
nothing else to bother me
a cushioned tram to ...
carve the open road into my soul
the same as knives carving at flesh
this fresh skin into an open wound
I’m eating more and more now and
every day I’m sleeping less and less
something has ...
1.) Eating so much corn you start throwing up and hallucinating is called Iowaska.
2.) If you repair the bottom of your shoe, is that a sole patch?
3.) Any time you use “2-D” to describe “two dim...
1.) I know that there’s a line between self-awareness and self-absorption but I also know that I don’t know where that line is.
2.) Pronounce Wimbleton “Wibbleton” and when challenged, proclaim t...
I want a God who’ll tell me I’m a good boy
I want a God who’ll pet me on the head
give me a treat now and then
I want a God who’ll brag to Her friends
about how smart I am for a ...
you’re successfully detached
but it still doesn’t stop
the emotions from being there
you have no nerve and you must feel
I’m I’m I’ve successfully detached
by writing it out in ...
if it’s not in the frame then it doesn’t exist
so step back and expand the borders
you can slowly make everything real
if you can only manage to persist
if you can only unlearn all those fals...
when criminals in video games have infinite ammo
I always think “why with all the crime, guy?”
“just get rich selling off your infinite ammo”
with all those coins, couldn’t Mario hire so...
Sometimes the epiphany is that
there will never be an epiphany.
Sometimes you can handle that.
Sometimes you can’t.
Sometimes the truth is
there just isn’t truth to be had
I want a conspiracy theory where Michael Jackson died
trying to invent a dance move so awesome it killed him
and the government covered up so others don’t try it
no thousands of copycat de...
maybe there’s a logic to the silly name
maybe there was an attempt to aid peanut corps
with radiation treatments in the farms around the town
which left the children intellect...
no matter your opinion on his music
on his music
on his “music”
you have to admit
“David Matthew Band”
sounds like the name of a 1970s serial killer
probably in like the Bronx
1.) I don’t believe there’s an Illuminati but I sure hope that there are people who think they are the Illuminati. That’d be fun.
2.) Is the head of the sewer-department chosen in a run-off elect...
1.) An alternate title for “American Gods” could be “Myth Takin’ Identities”.
2.) Another parody concept funny in theory but lacking an audience to get the joke: “Dr. Feelgood”/”Dr. Strangelove”....
Your SENIOR year of high school! (oh God) The longer ago it was, the more fun the answers will be!!!! (no, that’s the opposite of what you said) Let’s have FUN! (ugh. I will make this the opposit...
1.) Change your last names and start a neo-vaudeville comedy act called Difficult and Necessary.
2.) A small orchestra entirely built from precious metals called “The Financial Instruments”.
1.) Maybe an attempt to aid peanut farming w/ radiation in the town left the children precocious but deformed & damaged the adults’ vocal cords.
2.) I’ve seen no evidence of magical things in...
1.) Omit a single comma and suddenly Bill and Ted are partying on the back of a giant Jeffrey Lebowski.
2.) Step 1. Create a really smooth cheese sauce. Step 2. Name it “The Velveteen Rarebit”. S...
1.) Knowing little about golf I imagine Ben Hogan as Hulk Hogan except with a golf club. And I know it’s wrong but it’s too fun to stop.
2.) If the world’s largest non-atomic bomb is necessary, w...
1.) The worst part of anxiety is there are things normal and easy MOST OF THE TIME then every once in a while The Fear stirs and freezes you.
2.) Yes, I didn’t pick up those ice cubes I dropped b...
I am basically a big old slosh of water
coming up to the shape and to the level
of whatever vessel I end up poured into
it’s for better and for worse at once
I don’t know if ev...