littlefallsmets ⋅ 44

I write words, I sometimes get to perform them out, sometimes I'm even paid. And I'm trying to get it right, get it right.

with enough repetition, your flaws become your style

@Cecconi140

Entries 4,984

Page 1 of 200

3 hours ago

april 26 in idea barrages

Sometimes I think I should sue Goldfish crackers because I’m the REAL snack who smiles back. The worst part about human life is that it ends but the best part is that it happens at all. How...


“It wasn’t a dream,” a voice called from the darkness, “we had to pretend it was for a while but we’re sorry nonetheless.” As Dorothy opened her eyelids, vibrant colours made it clear this was in...


2 days ago

april 24 in idea barrages

At the strap on factory, all jobs are entry level. To eat Micro Magic Microwave French Fries was to be living in the future. Perhaps the future died when we rejected those damned marvels, lea...


4 days ago

april 22 in idea barrages

If we were meant to have hardwood floors, God or nature or evolution or whatever wouldn’t have given us feet designed perfectly for walking on lush fluffy grass with springy soil beneath, natur...


6 days ago

april 20 in idea barrages

“Maybe we can lose these guys tailing us at the airport, there’s so much security there, they can’t make a scene without getting arrested.” “That’s brilliant! We’ll hide in plane sight!” Reme...


The heart is a palimpsest. That’s a sentence as difficult to explain as it is to spell or pronounce. Explaining what a palimpsest is, that’s actually the easy part. It’s the original recycling s...


April 16, 2024

april 18 in idea barrages

The Science School Bus, using super-science to bring students into strange realms so as to teach them how magic works. Why call it “sex lube” when you can call it “oil du soiree”? The borde...


April 14, 2024

april 16 in idea barrages

Carpet diem, hug the floor! A great pen name would be “Justin Dure”. The irony that the people on the internet who think there’s a conspiracy culturally training us to each bugs also worshi...


April 13, 2024

april 14 in idea barrages

“Relax,” he told her, as if that wasn’t the hardest thing to do in the entire universe. If they’re going to keep making Jurassic Park movies, not because the sequels have been good but becaus...


April 11, 2024

april 12 in idea barrages

Bands shouldn’t have a “Final Tour”, they should be honest and call it the “Pre-Reunion Tour”. Eventually their individual needs for attention or money will overwhelm their hatred for each othe...


California’s earthquakes have nothing to do with the curse, of course, earthquakes are just plate tectonics reminding us there are far weirder things lying beneath than what looms above. We’re al...


April 09, 2024

april 10 in idea barrages

LESS CONCERN ABOUT EARNING POTENTIAL, MORE CONCERN ABOUT YEARNING POTENTIAL If you’re not there yet, lemme tell you, one of the fun things about getting old is when you hear “nostalgia tours”...


April 07, 2024

april 8 in idea barrages

“Oh man, I’m sorry I forgot you’re a vegetarian.” “No problem, no ham, no fowl.” We may as well give Willy Wonka a nemesis who is a TikTok chocolate influencer called Hustle Stovers. Someti...


April 05, 2024

april 6 in idea barrages

A movie about a serial killer whose calling card is a box of Milano cookies called PEPPERIDGE FARMS REMEMBERS WHAT YOU DID LAST SUMMER. When the suits aren’t taking a cut, they tell artists t...


The Curse of the Thirty Mile Zone existed long before Cinema, is centuries older than motion pictures, and will exist for eons hence. Perhaps less obviously than it does now, but it suffused the ...


April 02, 2024

april 4 in idea barrages

If I had any musical talent, I’d craft an summer rock anthem called “I’m Handsome For A Thick Boy”, not only for all the other chonky dudes to gain confidence, but for myself, since it’d be my ...


April 01, 2024

ap2 in idea barrages

If they can build a bottle opener into every folding knife ever, they can probably build them into big dangly earrings in a way that isn’t obvious to anyone but the wearer, right? Is this the n...


April 01, 2024

ap1 in idea barrages

It turned out that Carmen Sandiego was in San Diego the whole time. Yeah. Reverse psychology is a key weapon for international thieves, apparently. You don’t get many opportunities to retort ...


March 29, 2024

march 30 in idea barrages

You have completed the 101 class, watching Barbie and Oppenheimer as a double feature, “Barbenheimer”. Good. Now onto the advanced lesson, watch Frankenhooker and Toxic Avenger back to back or,...


Someone once asked John Lennon an obvious question, as to whether the song “Lucy in The Sky with Diamonds” was actually about drugs, because yes, of course it was about drugs. The initials were L...


March 26, 2024

march 28 in idea barrages

You have completed the 101 class, watching Barbie and Oppenheimer as a double feature, “Barbenheimer”. Good. Now onto the advanced lesson, watch Frankenhooker and Toxic Avenger back to back or,...


March 24, 2024

march 26 in idea barrages

If you ever have the opportunity to respond condescendingly to The Pringles Guy, please start your retort with the words “My brother in crisps”. Thank you. A parody of “Dancing In The Moonlig...


March 23, 2024

march 24 in idea barrages

How about a law where no one can get another yacht until they’ve entirely finished eating their first one? Sometimes life feels like a collections of times they didn’t say “yes” because you t...


March 21, 2024

march 22 in idea barrages

The opposite of story is not silence. The opposite of story is spectacle. Don’t get me wrong, sometimes a mix of the two opposites is a glorious thing, but always story first and spectacle seco...


According to The Amazing Mitzi, while many of Hollywood’s ironies are indeed side-effects of The Thirty-Mile-Zone’s obfuscating enchantment, it’s far from all. Some are geographical, some climato...


Books 9


1313 Entries
Public

144 Entries
Public

3135 Entries
Public

44 Entries
Public



251 Entries
Public

3 Entries
Public