Public

idea barrages

by littlefallsmets

Entries 2,881

Page 4 of 116

July 07, 2022

july 7

If you think about it, old school 3-D movies had to be developed from a double negative. A picture of the actors for C3P0 and some of the Stormtroopers, half out of costume, on a smoke break ...


July 06, 2022

july 5

Whenever baseball announcers call a leg strain a “tight hammy” I imagine Miss Piggy demanding Kermit talk during to her during sex, despite his mild and positive nature, and him only being able...


July 03, 2022

july 3

A story about a warlock making a deal with an aquatic eldritch horror called PACT TO THE GILLS. “For you, Nermal,” Garfield said, Nermal’s knife holding unsteadily at Garfield’s throat, “the ...


July 01, 2022

july 1

The world’s greatest mash-up would somehow stitch together that LCD Soundsystem “New York I Love You But You’re Bringing Me Down” / Miles Davis solo mash-up WITH the Bacon Pancakes / Empire Sta...


June 29, 2022

june 29

An NES video game based on the early ’60s sitcom “I’m Dickens, He’s Fenster” called “FENSTER’S QUEST”. (Bonus points, it would also be based on a John Astin starring television show!) Spider-...


June 27, 2022

june 27

You know what’s interesting? Truncating fast food slogans. Burger King: HAVE IT. Subway: EAT. McDonalds: FOOD. Taco Bell: YO. Accountants are offended when you call them your “tally ho”. Even...


June 25, 2022

june 25

The only difference between Trump and Musk is the generation. In the 80s, the dullard fail-son of a rich guy craving attention would get into real estate scams. In the 2010s, the same guy gets ...


June 23, 2022

june 23

We’re thinking about this whole “Morbius 2: It’s Morbin Time” thing all wrong. What if it’s a movie about a fictionalized version of the making of Morbius, where Jared Leto is actually a vampir...


June 20, 2022

june 21

DICK TRACY IN THE MULTIVERSE OF MANLIS. Live-tweeting The Tonys seems like a particular kind of hell even I wouldn’t subject myself to… and I’m the guy who should be paid 400 grand a year to ...


June 19, 2022

june 19

A head-canon where the meme character “Jeff The Killer” turns out to have been Geoffrey The Giraffe from Toys ‘R’ Us all along and that’s why they had to close the chain, to shield them from fu...


June 17, 2022

june 17

An agnostic God who has trouble believing in Himself. A Dungeons & Dragons character concept: a tabaxi that took the Chef feat named Taybaxi after the acclaimed character actor Vic Taybac...


June 15, 2022

june 15

The wonderful thing about writing in flash is the way it forces you to write the exact opposite of Dickens. We aren’t being paid a penny a word so we must describe every curtain and cloud to ea...


June 13, 2022

june 13

They could’a called DUDE WHERE’S MY CAR or PINEAPPLE EXPRESS or HAROLD AND KUMAR or any of those flicks “BROMANCING THE STONED” but, again, they haven’t put me in charge of naming everything ye...


June 11, 2022

june 11

The Punisher crossed over with Eminem, the Punisher crossed over with Archie but Marvel still hasn’t given us “Judge Judy & Executioner” and they know it’s wrong, they’re just afraid of the...


June 09, 2022

june 9

With decades of age, I’ve come to realize that organized fandom is the problem, not being a fan of a thing. It’s like religion. Disorganized faith helps some get through life but once there’s a...


June 07, 2022

june 7

Are there really people feeling nostalgic for Top Gun? Top Gun. Really. It’s one thing to watch it & say “that was dumb fun, I don’t feel I wasted my time”, sure. But “this is a cultural to...


June 06, 2022

june 5

To redeem Dr. Octopus, Spidey should’ve just used otto-correct. A gig’s a spear they use to ensnare helpless fish to eat them & that’s why it’s called the “gig economy”. A brand’s a thing...


June 03, 2022

june 3

Don’t mind me. Just singing Van Halen’s “Panama” as “Enema” at the top of my lungs. As one does. For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only lightcycle, that whoever believes in ...


June 01, 2022

june 1

You know you’re getting old when you’re starting to notice the baseball players’ moms more than their girlfriends. Sometimes, we’re not even lucky enough for the past to repeat itself. Someti...


May 29, 2022

may 30

I wonder if when people get mad at Stevie Nicks, they just yell “STEPHANIE NICHOLAS!” at her, like as if that’s her full legal, and it shames her into behaving. Everybody’s like carbon-neutra...


May 28, 2022

may 28

Whenever more than three women come together to smoke weed, that’s officially an easy-bake coven. Carls Sr was good friends with James Jonathon. Making a good stew is a thyme-consuming proc...


May 26, 2022

may 26

A really interesting fast food tie-in would be a promotion called “Terence Trent D’Arbys”. If Natalie Portman and Topher Grace hooked up, their celebrity couple portmanteau would be Portmanto...


May 24, 2022

may 24

If instead of 15 minutes of fame, everyone got three months of hip-hop stardom, we could have a show called “90-Day Beyonce”. I just came up with the most revolting phrase in the English lang...


May 21, 2022

may 22

Are there true-crime podcasts that cover fictional killers in-universe yet? Like two hipsters doing a deep-dive on what the general public would actually know about Michael Myers or Norman Bate...


May 20, 2022

may 20

The prank war had escalated to the point where the farmer’s friend had replayed his hay bales with marijuana. There was no doubt about it now: the steaks were high. Probably the best idea I’v...


Book Description

originally, I went to college to be a comedy writer
the urge to still generate short form ideas remains
I collect, once or twice a day, my one-liner jokes
and my germs of ideas that I litter on social media
into little collections I call “barrages”
and then I put them here
sometimes