Public

idea barrages

by littlefallsmets

Entries 2,402

Page 4 of 97

November 05, 2020

nov 7

Another teevee ad for a prescription drug where the generic could be split in two and it’d be a perfect name for an NPR reporter. “Dupi Lumab, All Things Considered.” My anxiety and panic are...


November 05, 2020

nov 6

A rock opera version of Oklahoma called CROP ROCK. Q-Anon sticker on some bigot’s car, this is the American curse, to believe any impossible clearly-made-up thing under the sun as long as it ...


November 03, 2020

nov 5

I wonder if between the end of spring term and the beginning of fall term, Hogwarts students could participate in some kind of Summoner’s Reading Programme. A bludgeoning weapon that’s +2 aga...


November 03, 2020

nov 4

You could easily make “Black Betty” into a song about benzo pills. “Whoa Black Betty, diazepam, Whoa Black Betty, alprazolam”. The Scandinavian tourist board should go with the slogan “Have y...


November 02, 2020

nov 3

During any meeting with entertainment executives, you should get to throw out your weirdest idea at the beginning with no negative repercussions as a “ceremonial first pitch”. Little concentr...


November 02, 2020

nov 2

I just hope that the Scarlet Witch show has a scene that’s a black-and-white war romance of her and the Vision called FROM HERE TO INFINITY. When it is this hot, we should automatically shut ...


October 30, 2020

nov 1

Why call it your “semen sample” when you can call it your “dude ranch”? Sleep, death, love, success, failure, little by little then all at once, they all arrive and leave the same way. Little...


October 30, 2020

oct 31

Just realized U.S. Acres was collectively the Jar-Jar Binks of Garfield & Friends. I can just see Jim Davis being like “We have to get U.S. Acres going because they’re the funniest characte...


October 28, 2020

oct 30

Strap some wheels on the bottom of your Ouija, call it a Fateboard. I love the retail-nerd term “Labelscar”. The haunting residue of the dirt surrounding where a corporate logo once was. Hist...


October 28, 2020

oct 29

She made a RASPBERRY BRULEE, a good reason to use your kitchen torch more, RASPBERRY BRULEE Sometimes I like to think we’re all the same consciousness, imagining that we’re different just bec...


October 26, 2020

oct 28

You can’t spell “atheist” without “a heist”. I’m not implying any meaning to this coincidence, just noting it and moving on. Yeah, I’d write a murder mystery set at the Olympics just to get t...


October 26, 2020

oct 27

I’ve realized I’m a lot better at being accountable to others than accountable to myself. Outside structures like jobs & hobbies (that happen minimally during a plague) tend to be what I le...


October 24, 2020

oct 26

Imagine a vast labyrinth, walls stretched to all horizons yet unitary. Imagine one brick unmoored to wander itself for so long it gets turned around & forgets itself a part of the whirl it ...


October 24, 2020

oct 25

There are far worse names for a punk band than “Queefer Sutherland”. The important thing to point out about those “oh my God, this thing is actually a cake!” videos is that the icing is alway...


October 22, 2020

oct 24

A quantum leap forward in Greek desserts - Scott Baklava! Why did Chuck E Cheese have to implode AFTER they got rid of the animatronics? I could’ve filled this attic with decommissioned anima...


October 22, 2020

oct 23

Lady A and Cardi B collabing on a cover of “Beyond The Sea” with a guest rap verse from Chuck D, though Easy E is no longer with us to round out the premise. YOUR OWN. PERSONAL. PIZZA. READ A...


October 20, 2020

oct 22

“Who’s voicing Garfield in this?” he asked. “It’s Music to my ears!” she responded. Music ideas: a country metal band called MULLET FOR MY VALENTINE, an emo rock opera about “The Facts of Lif...


October 20, 2020

oct 21

What was with that super-brief fad of Dalgona coffee? Who prefers their coffee in viscous-slime form? Artisanal single-source organic basketball shoes called Tweeboks. So it appears that no...


October 18, 2020

oct 20

It’s interesting to post on facebook, realizing it began as a way to see if folks you knew in high school were still good looking & ended up assisting the Russian dictator in installing a d...


October 18, 2020

oct 19

I mean, a parody of the theme to Hey Dude about Dune. Sure. Maybe she jumps real high. MAYBE IT’S TRAMPOLINE. So in a D&D setting, the Ghostbusters… Venkman’s definitely a Glamour Bard,...


October 18, 2020

oct 18

The ultimate ramifications of the cattle getting into the marijuana patch were uncertain but they knew this much: the steaks were high. “Do Diverse Androids Dream of Eclectic Sheep?” A poet...


October 18, 2020

oct 17

I saw a banner for a gender reveal party that literally said “HERE FOR THE SEX” and I thought, yeah, yeah, maybe it’s good this civilization is ending. They’ll sacrifice school children to ke...


October 14, 2020

oct 16

Of course a sheriff who won’t enforce masks to prevent COVID shows up on CNN in a white cowboy hat with a Sam Elliott mustache. Of course he does. It’s ALMOST like America is never going to mov...


October 14, 2020

oct 15

If Rogue had been from Athens instead of the American South, she could’a been Absorba The Greek but, again, no one asked me and we suffer for it. It’s not a coincidence Trump rushed a bunch o...


October 12, 2020

oct 14

How does a giant framed poster of Vigo the Carpathian from Ghostbusters 2 end up in a New Hartford thrift shop and how was it not instantly bought by a comic book store or movie house or someth...


Book Description

originally, I went to college to be a comedy writer
the urge to still generate short form ideas remains
I collect, once or twice a day, my one-liner jokes
and my germs of ideas that I litter on social media
into little collections I call “barrages”
and then I put them here
sometimes