fb25 in idea barrages

People think I’m either being too humble or performatively insincerely humble on a fairly regular basis. Thing is, there’s a sliver of me, the worst part of me, that could be the most arrogant man on Earth & I’m trying to push that jerk down. I never figured out how to be confident without being arrogant so I pushed that confidence down instead. It’s not the healthiest coping mechanism, and it has probably robbed me of chances both artistic and romantic but, like, I really don’t like hurting people.

The paladin was unyielding and thorough in her hunts, leaving no crone unturned.

I am pleased to announce that tomorrow I will be winning the Boilermaker Road Race, by not running in the Boilermaker and, instead, waking up in an air conditioned bedroom at 11:30AM a thirty-five minute drive east of the event, extending my 44 year streak of never having sheared my nipples off my body with a running bib.

Yelling “IT’S MORBIN TIME!” at the beginning of all movie screenings, regardless of whether it is Morbius or not, is her morbus operandi.

“How did you not know that everyone was looking for you, Sadaam Hussein, what were you doing, living under Iraq?”

A dull knife with a ram’s head design on the handle that you call your buttering ram.

To this day, I still have no idea how Pitbull got famous. Like, what people got out of Pitbull as a performer or even as an idea. There’s a lot of things I don’t enjoy that I can see where someone else would enjoy it but Pitbull? Dude should’a been hawking cellphones in a mall kiosk, at best.

Zombie groans actually mean a whole lot to each other, we just don’t understand because it’s a dead language.