Public

idea barrages

by littlefallsmets

Entries 3,102

Page 6 of 125

June 17, 2023

june 18

You might think Viagra will uncomplicate your life but, really, you’re just making it hard on yourself. I think the thing is, it’s better to say I’m trying my best to be an ally than to say I...


June 15, 2023

june 16

A classy BBC remake of “Bridesmaids” called “Bridesmaid Revisited”. The “Father and Son” scene in Guardians of the Galaxy 2 helped me finally realize that a lot of Flaming Lips songs are basi...


June 12, 2023

june 14

A knock-off Eggo box with the catchphrase “Get offle my waffle!” I just realized that Andrew Tate looks like an elderly Don Knotts with a little more muscle definition and a bad spray tan. ...


June 12, 2023

june 12

The beauty of Paris can be overwhelming, that’s why they call it Eyefull Tower. She understood that some people had their own favourite Italian restaurants but that wasn’t her way. She liked ...


June 12, 2023

june 10

Many of the things we think we know about Harland Sanders are wild exaggerations but most do contain a colonel of truth. A series of urban legends about a cursed soupmaker roaming the streets...


June 07, 2023

june 8

Maybe all spiders can write words into their webs like Charlotte but most of them are into death metal and they’re just doing those logos for death metal bands no one can actually read. Nothi...


June 05, 2023

june 6

The wookie god of wine is named Chewbacchus. She could’ve been the most successful deodorant in the world, if only she only would apply herself. If even Jesus Christ allowed Himself a break...


June 03, 2023

june 4

I would love to see the Weinermobile towing the Plantersmobile and the idea is drivin’ me nuts. The shirt is the casing, we are the sausage. This is low-carb life. “Whatcha drinkin’ there? ...


June 01, 2023

june 2

I would love if sex toy stores had ads on teevee with, like, Crazy Eddie style promotions. “I DOUBLE-DONG DARE YOU TO GET A BETTER DEAL!” If the Insane Clown Posse really wanted to find out h...


May 30, 2023

may 31

Gotta ask ‘em all, Porque-mon! Lil Wayne implies the existence of the kaiju Giant Wayne, his best friend and protector. If you really need to yell something because you smashed your toe int...


May 28, 2023

may 29

Okay, PENNYWORTH exists, sure, but where’s the grim and gritty prequel about the butler on THE FRESH PRINCE? Like he was Mi5 and had so much blood on his hands, The Crown had to hide him on the...


May 25, 2023

may 27

It probably wouldn’t be that great of a cocktail taste-wise, but a “whiskey and cola” drink that’s Royal Crown and Crown Royal called “The Reflexive” would be fun as hell, conceptually. “Stea...


May 25, 2023

may 25

A circus game called “Whaucamole” where the players have to try and smash rising and falling avocados with mallets and if they score high enough, they win guacamole. You, as the operator, get b...


May 22, 2023

may 23

No, the WEIRDEST parody of all time would be of Fiona Apple’s “Criminal” that starts with the line “I’ve been a bad bad Terl / I’ve been reckless on a battlefield called Earth”. Domino rally ...


May 20, 2023

may 21

They’re just gonna keep trying to make Percy Jackson happen, aren’t they? “Until we have the rights to Harry Potter,” some executive says, briefly raising his head from the pile of cocaine, “we...


May 18, 2023

may 19

The more events you have a wall with a bunch of company logos that you can have a picture taken against, as if it’s an awards show red carpet, the less they’ll mean. Soon the stars will have th...


May 16, 2023

may 17

Maybe fundamentalists would be more comfortable with sex ed if he went by his full name, Sexual Edward. If you’re going to make a sitcom about how insane homeowner’s associations are, why not...


May 14, 2023

may 15

If Vanilla Ice had made Ice Ice Baby in 2023, it wouldn’t have been “tip to my waitress” it would’ve been “link to my socials”. Look into your heart, young Skywalker, you know it to be true. ...


May 12, 2023

may 13

A shirt with a drawing of a drill on it and the phrase “Ceci n’est pas une perceuse”. Honestly, Chatbots probably can’t make popular comedy worse than popular comedy is doing right now. IF PR...


May 10, 2023

may 11

The problem with wanting to be a tether between others is it means you’re tethered too. If you want to be a spider feeling all the web’s vibrations, it means you’re stuck on the web. It isn’t n...


May 08, 2023

may 9

When I came to realize there are people who use “funny” for radically different ideas, things started to make sense. Some folks call “funny” the feeling they get from having their worldview rei...


May 06, 2023

may 7

The trombone is nature’s slide whistle. What would be fun would be PUBLIC SCHOOL DETECTIVE, a P.I. who solves crimes on the strength of otherwise utterly useless knowledge we’re given in Amer...


May 05, 2023

may 5

All the Robins form a rock band and go on tour. Dracula shows up backstage after their Romanian show to congratulate them on their performance. “Ah, the children of the Knight,” he says, “what ...


May 02, 2023

may 3

You know what would be the beautifully stupidest Marvel - Disney mash-up, though? Spider-Man’s Carnage and Talespin’s Don Karnage. If you try to hide in plain sight by reading THE STRANGER, y...


April 29, 2023

may 1

My brain is singing a parody of “Do You Know The Muffin Man” about a shady muffler repair shop. Used to be, the easiest way to rile up someone into anime was to jokingly call it “japanimation...


Book Description

originally, I went to college to be a comedy writer
the urge to still generate short form ideas remains
I collect, once or twice a day, my one-liner jokes
and my germs of ideas that I litter on social media
into little collections I call “barrages”
and then I put them here
sometimes