JustWillow ⋅ 41

Well-behaved women seldom make history…

Laurel Thatcher Ulrich

Entries 17

Page 1 of 1

7 days ago

Oh, Girl. in Phoenix

You’d think by 41 years of age, a girl would know better. Shame on me. So I wrote some days ago about the friend… what did I decide to call him? Oh yes, #3. Yeah, no. I don’t know if I was all ho...


April 15, 2019

Liberation. in Phoenix

So, #2 decided on Friday to be his usual, horrible, terrible, very awful self, and tried to insult me into submission. He said some really rotten stuff about me and my older son, called me all th...


April 14, 2019

Alive. in Phoenix

Is this what that feels like? Kind of like I stuck my finger in a light socket? Full of laughter and happiness and friendship and hope and hunger. So much hunger. I want to do so many things and ...


I feel like I spent far too much of my life rushing towards who I thought I was supposed to be when I should have been looking at who I was and learning how to love that girl. Now, looking back, ...


April 11, 2019

Elaboration. in Phoenix

So yeah, had drinks with… I need to call him something besides “the friend,” don’t I? His name is *. There are a billion of those so whatever. (Editing to say that maybe I should just refer to hi...


April 11, 2019

Intense. in Phoenix

I’m realizing that I’m a pretty intense person. I don’t really know how to dial it back, but I feel like it’s something I need to learn. I’ve always known I was intense on the inside but I guess ...


April 09, 2019

I Hope He Hurts in Phoenix

Does that make me a terrible person? I kind of feel like it does but I also kind of feel like I don’t really care. I just hope he hurts. You know. He. Him. Them. Whatever. I’m a really wonderful ...


April 07, 2019

Forgiveness, Part 2 in Phoenix

Seems I’m the only one experiencing some personal growth out of the clusterfuck that was my marriage. Having this conversation with the soon-to-be ex tonight and was just kind of rambling about ...


April 06, 2019

Forgiveness in Phoenix

I’ve never been a forgiving person on the inside. On the outside, sure. I give the appearance of forgiveness. But on the inside, I’m a grudge holder. I don’t know if it’s the PTSD or the OCD or a...


April 02, 2019

My Turn. in Phoenix

I’ve been in the grips of one of the worse manic episodes I’ve had in almost 8 years. For the last 7 days, I’ve been on the brink of a psychotic break. Spiraling out of control. Wound tight like ...


April 01, 2019

Numb. in Phoenix

That’s what he is. Or what he says he is. He doesn’t feel anything at all about anything at all. He’s shut himself down. Because relationships are a trigger. Yeah. Relationships are a trigger. Wa...


April 01, 2019

Lost a Friend. in Phoenix

That’s why I’m so hurt, why I’m so angry. Not because the boy is an idiot, because he essentially cheated on me and dumped me for whatever his stupid-ass reason is. I mean, yeah, that shit hurts....


March 31, 2019

Toxic. in Phoenix

As a woman, I thought I knew what toxic male behavior looked like. I thought no way I could ever get fooled again. I’ve lived with toxic males my entire life. Every person I ever dated or was mar...


March 31, 2019

Manic Depression. in Phoenix

That’s what they called it when I was a teenager. They said I was manic depressive. Now they say bipolar. They also say PTSD, OCD, and ADHD. Well, and the anxiety, always the anxiety. But I think...


March 30, 2019

Journey. in Phoenix

No one knows my journey. No one single person has the whole picture. No one but me. Many, many people have little pieces, some more than others. But none of them have the whole. So none of them, ...


March 26, 2019

Getting Divorced. Again. in Phoenix

That’s a new thing I got to do today. I got to file for divorce. From my husband. After over 7 years together, over 5 years married, and 4 years on the same continent. Also some new things I’ve ...


October 24, 2013

Remember in The Story of a Girl

I learned very early on that my existence was a mistake, an accident, almost an impossibility, and very likely an inconvenience. My mother, speaking to her friends, referred to me as “my little ...


Books 2


19 Entries
Public

6 Entries
Public