JustWillow ⋅ 41

Well-behaved women seldom make history…

Laurel Thatcher Ulrich

Entries 59

Page 1 of 3

1 day ago

Love Hard. in Phoenix

I don’t know how to love a little. I love hard, with all that I am. Yeah, that’s not a good thing, folks. At least, it hasn’t been. I’ve had a real bad habit of throwing myself into another perso...


3 days ago

Abused. in Phoenix

Reading this today on Facebook stunned me speechless for a moment. This is how I’ve lived my entire adult life, accepting abuse with love because that’s all I’ve ever known. I think my mind has ...


4 days ago

Rage. in Phoenix

It’s what’s for dinner. I’ve had a few random bursts of almost uncontrollable rage today. That hasn’t happened in a very long time, many months. Maybe even years. It’s been a long time since I’ve...


He says that a lot. “We’ll figure things out in a way that makes sense.” And, you know, we will. Everything about us makes sense, so why wouldn’t we be able to figure things out in a way that als...


He baked me banana bread, ya’ll. A man. Baked. Banana bread. For me. Take note, boys. Bitches love banana bread. And not just any old banana bread, no sir. Special fancy banana bread baked with ...


June 06, 2019

Four Years Ago. in Phoenix

If I don’t stand up for myself, I’m weak, a doormat. If I do speak up, I’m being a bitch. If I keep quiet about my feelings, I’m bottling them up. If I let them out, if I’m honest with someone ab...


June 03, 2019

Deprivation. in Phoenix

I spent the majority of my childhood feeling deprived of affection. My family was just not very expressive about emotion, either verbally or physically. I just don’t really remember a lot of hugs...


June 03, 2019

Men Are Garbage. in Phoenix

Yeah, yeah, I know, #NotAllMen. Just fucking save it, eh? I was giving a friend a ride home tonight (technically last night… I haven’t slept yet.) and I said damn, we should have stopped for an a...


May 31, 2019

Partner. in Phoenix

That’s all I’ve ever really wanted, you know? That one person I could always count on to have my back when I really needed them. Someone to learn and grow with, and grow old with. I just don’t t...


May 30, 2019

#MeToo in Phoenix

I haven’t really participated in this whole #metoo thing. I mean, I’ve… well, I read a lot… but I never told my story. I couldn’t. No way could I Tweet it or Facebook it or… I mean, I talked abou...


May 28, 2019

Reservations. in Phoenix

I was going to call this entry “Fears” but that didn’t seem quite right. I don’t believe that it’s fear that I’m feeling, exactly. I think I’m just having reservations. Uncertainties. Yes, uncert...


May 27, 2019

Letting Go. in Phoenix

Been working really hard lately to purge a lot of noise from my life. People that aren’t good for me, my own rotten thoughts, clothes I don’t wear, and as much of #2’s shit as possible. I’ve nev...


May 25, 2019

like the sun in Phoenix

your mind is a library of knowledge your body, a garden of wonder your heart is a vault of magic your soul, a sea of wisdom nothing i do not love about you not even Chicago because you are it and...


May 22, 2019

Emotional Maturity in Phoenix

I ain’t got none. I’m pretty sure I’m like… emotionally stunted. Or emotionally immature. In a weird way, I guess, considering how self-aware I am. My recent heightened level of self-awareness ha...


May 20, 2019

Boundaries! in Phoenix

I am doing so good! I went out tonight (Sunday) to one of the local watering holes, got white girl wasted, had a complete blast hanging out with a new friend I don’t see nearly enough and a frien...


May 20, 2019

Cognitive Dissonance. in Phoenix

“Cognitive Dissonance, the mental conflict that occurs when beliefs or assumptions are contradicted by new information. The unease or tension that the conflict arouses in people is relieved by on...


May 19, 2019

Old Habits. in Phoenix

I knew it couldn’t hold, my good mood, the elation I was feeling at how well my life is going. All the too-good-to-be-true-ness is holding, at least. There is so much in my life, so many good thi...


May 18, 2019

Without Shame. in Phoenix

I know I’ve written about shame before, but it’s a really prominent thought in my mind right now. I don’t know how to love without shame. I think. I mean, I don’t know how not to doubt myself, t...


May 17, 2019

Unsaid. in Phoenix

There are so many things I want to say but I don’t say them because I’ve been trained to believe that it should be embarrassing to be so expressive. It’s melodramatic. Cheesy. Annoying. I know ...


May 12, 2019

Too Good. in Phoenix

If life has taught me anything, it’s that if it seems too good to be true, it probably is. Okay, it always is. But shouldn’t there come a time in a person’s life where maybe they find something ...


May 11, 2019

Toddler. in Phoenix

I’m afraid of behaving like an annoying child, tugging a sleeve or a pant leg and chanting, “Mommy. Mom. Mom. Mom. Mommy? Mommmmmmy!” Is it because I was treated like an annoying child for years...


May 11, 2019

Careful. in Phoenix

I am feeling the first tingles of fear. I’m not even sure what I’m afraid of, but the tingle is most certainly present. Or maybe I’m just having a hint of anxiety because I fucked up my med refi...


May 09, 2019

Writing. in Phoenix

Writing is so good for me, so healthy, a much-needed release. I say things here that I don’t generally talk about in every day life, reveal so much more about myself than most people will ever kn...


May 07, 2019

Opposites Attract. in Phoenix

You know, they do, actually. And that’s the problem for me, every damn time. I’ve always picked guys who are the opposite of me. That’s why they all wanted to change me. They were attracted to th...


I remember the first day of 7th grade. Wait, no. I remember one moment, specifically, the first day of 7th grade. I remember other parts of the day, but none so clear as the first time I saw his ...


Books 3


66 Entries
Public

8 Entries
Public