🌈 JustWillow 🦄 ⋅ 43

Well-behaved women seldom make history…

Laurel Thatcher Ulrich

Entries 157

Page 5 of 7

June 06, 2019

Four Years Ago. in Phoenix

If I don’t stand up for myself, I’m weak, a doormat. If I do speak up, I’m being a bitch. If I keep quiet about my feelings, I’m bottling them up. If I let them out, if I’m honest with someone ab...


June 04, 2019

Deprivation. in Phoenix

I spent the majority of my childhood feeling deprived of affection. My family was just not very expressive about emotion, either verbally or physically. I just don’t really remember a lot of hugs...


June 03, 2019

Men Are Garbage. in Phoenix

Yeah, yeah, I know, #NotAllMen. Just fucking save it, eh? I was giving a friend a ride home tonight (technically last night… I haven’t slept yet.) and I said damn, we should have stopped for an a...


June 03, 2019

Life Partner. in Phoenix

I have had 2 men in my adult life that I genuinely believed, for a good period of time, would be in my life forever, as my husband, my friend, my lover, my co-parent, my life partner. Sperm Dono...


May 31, 2019

Partner. in Phoenix

That’s all I’ve ever really wanted, you know? That one person I could always count on to have my back when I really needed them. Someone to learn and grow with, and grow old with. I just don’t t...


May 30, 2019

#MeToo in Phoenix

I haven’t really participated in this whole #metoo thing. I mean, I’ve… well, I read a lot… but I never told my story. I couldn’t. No way could I Tweet it or Facebook it or… I mean, I talked abou...


May 29, 2019

Reservations. in Phoenix

I was going to call this entry “Fears” but that didn’t seem quite right. I don’t believe that it’s fear that I’m feeling, exactly. I think I’m just having reservations. Uncertainties. Yes, uncert...


May 27, 2019

Letting Go. in Phoenix

Been working really hard lately to purge a lot of noise from my life. People that aren’t good for me, my own rotten thoughts, clothes I don’t wear, and as much of #2’s shit as possible. I’ve nev...


May 27, 2019

Chains in Phoenix

An entire life lived in chains and you’re breaking them all.


May 25, 2019

like the sun in Phoenix

your mind is a library of knowledge your body, a garden of wonder your heart is a vault of magic your soul, a sea of wisdom nothing i do not love about you not even Chicago because you are it and...


May 23, 2019

Puzzle in Phoenix

We’ve both said, “You’re my missing piece.” You aren’t my missing piece. We are made up of all the most beautiful parts of ourselves, intertwined and intermingled. All of our pieces come togethe...


May 22, 2019

Emotional Maturity in Phoenix

I ain’t got none. I’m pretty sure I’m like… emotionally stunted. Or emotionally immature. In a weird way, I guess, considering how self-aware I am. My recent heightened level of self-awareness ha...


May 20, 2019

Boundaries! in Phoenix

I am doing so good! I went out tonight (Sunday) to one of the local watering holes, got white girl wasted, had a complete blast hanging out with a new friend I don’t see nearly enough and a frien...


May 20, 2019

Cognitive Dissonance. in Phoenix

“Cognitive Dissonance, the mental conflict that occurs when beliefs or assumptions are contradicted by new information. The unease or tension that the conflict arouses in people is relieved by on...


May 19, 2019

Old Habits. in Phoenix

I knew it couldn’t hold, my good mood, the elation I was feeling at how well my life is going. All the too-good-to-be-true-ness is holding, at least. There is so much in my life, so many good thi...


May 18, 2019

Without Shame. in Phoenix

I know I’ve written about shame before, but it’s a really prominent thought in my mind right now. I don’t know how to love without shame. I think. I mean, I don’t know how not to doubt myself, t...


May 18, 2019

Unsaid. in Phoenix

There are so many things I want to say but I don’t say them because I’ve been trained to believe that it should be embarrassing to be so expressive. It’s melodramatic. Cheesy. Annoying. I know ...


May 18, 2019

Unchained. in Phoenix

I have lived my entire life in mental and emotional chains. Some self-imposed and others not so much. As a child, I began to believe some pretty negative things about myself. I’ve spent my entire...


May 13, 2019

Too Good. in Phoenix

If life has taught me anything, it’s that if it seems too good to be true, it probably is. Okay, it always is. But shouldn’t there come a time in a person’s life where maybe they find something ...


May 12, 2019

Toddler. in Phoenix

I’m afraid of behaving like an annoying child, tugging a sleeve or a pant leg and chanting, “Mommy. Mom. Mom. Mom. Mommy? Mommmmmmy!” Is it because I was treated like an annoying child for years...


May 12, 2019

Careful. in Phoenix

I am feeling the first tingles of fear. I’m not even sure what I’m afraid of, but the tingle is most certainly present. Or maybe I’m just having a hint of anxiety because I fucked up my med refi...


May 10, 2019

Writing. in Phoenix

Writing is so good for me, so healthy, a much-needed release. I say things here that I don’t generally talk about in every day life, reveal so much more about myself than most people will ever kn...


May 08, 2019

Opposites Attract. in Phoenix

You know, they do, actually. And that’s the problem for me, every damn time. I’ve always picked guys who are the opposite of me. That’s why they all wanted to change me. They were attracted to th...


May 06, 2019

You. in Phoenix

There are so many things about you, so many little things, that you are likely completely unaware of. Things you say and do that move me in ways, and for reasons, that you have no knowledge of. A...


May 06, 2019

Journey, Part 2 in Phoenix

“No one knows my journey. No one single person has the whole picture. No one but me. Many, many people have little pieces, some more than others. But none of them have the whole. So none of them,...


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