Public

Phoenix

by JustWillow

Entries 67

Page 1 of 3

4 days ago

The Shiny Wears Off

Random thought that popped into my head just a few minutes ago. He called me adorable. I get all weird with compliments. I don’t know how to react to them. I get all shy and weird and try to curl...


July 12, 2019

Holding Back.

Over the years I was with the douchetastic Wanker, I developed a habit I can’t stop thinking about lately, a habit I’m wondering if I should, and even if I could, break. He wasn’t a “tactile per...


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July 01, 2019

Gratitude.

Have I written about gratitude before? I don’t know. But I’m going to right now because it’s what is on my mind. Feeling and expressing gratitude is incredibly important to me. It keeps me away f...


June 30, 2019

Hard Day.

This was a hard day at work, but it’s a hard day in another, more profound way. In a somewhat unexpected way. These are the days that are going to be the hardest for me. Hard day at work and all ...


June 21, 2019

Who I Am.

Maybe I’m an enabler. Maybe I don’t know how to be unkind, even to people who don’t deserve my kindness. Maybe I don’t know how to be without compassion and empathy, even for people who don’t des...


June 20, 2019

Empowered.

Find a person who makes you feel empowered. Invincible. Undoubtedly loved, admired, and respected. Desired is pretty fucking nice, too. Find a person that, no matter how hard you look at them, yo...


June 18, 2019

Dear You,

You came into my life when I needed a friend something fierce. You invited me into your circle, into your life, and suddenly I had so many new friends and I finally felt like I was in a place I f...


June 17, 2019

ADHD Mania.

That’s what I got going on! I can definitely feel the mania ramping up and my ADHD is in overdrive. I can’t focus on anything for more than a few minutes or even seconds. My brain is on fire. L...


June 16, 2019

Dysfunctional.

I wasn’t raised in a dysfunctional family in the traditional sense of dysfunctional, I think. But I was definitely dysfunctional and so were most of my family members individually. My family was ...


June 16, 2019

She is me.

There have always been things I was interested in, things I wanted to try, see, do. I’ve also always restrained myself in so many ways for so many reasons, the biggest two being low self-esteem a...


June 14, 2019

Love Hard.

I don’t know how to love a little. I love hard, with all that I am. Yeah, that’s not a good thing, folks. At least, it hasn’t been. I’ve had a real bad habit of throwing myself into another perso...


June 12, 2019

Abused.

Reading this today on Facebook stunned me speechless for a moment. This is how I’ve lived my entire adult life, accepting abuse with love because that’s all I’ve ever known. I think my mind has ...


June 11, 2019

Rage.

It’s what’s for dinner. I’ve had a few random bursts of almost uncontrollable rage today. That hasn’t happened in a very long time, many months. Maybe even years. It’s been a long time since I’ve...


He says that a lot. “We’ll figure things out in a way that makes sense.” And, you know, we will. Everything about us makes sense, so why wouldn’t we be able to figure things out in a way that als...


He baked me banana bread, ya’ll. A man. Baked. Banana bread. For me. Take note, boys. Bitches love banana bread. And not just any old banana bread, no sir. Special fancy banana bread baked with ...


June 06, 2019

Four Years Ago.

If I don’t stand up for myself, I’m weak, a doormat. If I do speak up, I’m being a bitch. If I keep quiet about my feelings, I’m bottling them up. If I let them out, if I’m honest with someone ab...


June 03, 2019

Deprivation.

I spent the majority of my childhood feeling deprived of affection. My family was just not very expressive about emotion, either verbally or physically. I just don’t really remember a lot of hugs...


June 03, 2019

Men Are Garbage.

Yeah, yeah, I know, #NotAllMen. Just fucking save it, eh? I was giving a friend a ride home tonight (technically last night… I haven’t slept yet.) and I said damn, we should have stopped for an a...


May 31, 2019

Partner.

That’s all I’ve ever really wanted, you know? That one person I could always count on to have my back when I really needed them. Someone to learn and grow with, and grow old with. I just don’t t...


May 30, 2019

#MeToo

I haven’t really participated in this whole #metoo thing. I mean, I’ve… well, I read a lot… but I never told my story. I couldn’t. No way could I Tweet it or Facebook it or… I mean, I talked abou...


May 28, 2019

Reservations.

I was going to call this entry “Fears” but that didn’t seem quite right. I don’t believe that it’s fear that I’m feeling, exactly. I think I’m just having reservations. Uncertainties. Yes, uncert...


May 27, 2019

Letting Go.

Been working really hard lately to purge a lot of noise from my life. People that aren’t good for me, my own rotten thoughts, clothes I don’t wear, and as much of #2’s shit as possible. I’ve nev...


May 25, 2019

like the sun

your mind is a library of knowledge your body, a garden of wonder your heart is a vault of magic your soul, a sea of wisdom nothing i do not love about you not even Chicago because you are it and...


May 22, 2019

Emotional Maturity

I ain’t got none. I’m pretty sure I’m like… emotionally stunted. Or emotionally immature. In a weird way, I guess, considering how self-aware I am. My recent heightened level of self-awareness ha...


Book Description

Rising from the ashes.