Also... in Like No One Is Reading

I am feeling incredibly fragile right now, a bit like blown glass that could shatter at any moment, and do not feel capable of direct communication. The thought of it, of answering your messages, is causing me extreme anxiety. I’m afraid that anything I say is going to set you off all over again and I’m sure we’re both on edge right now.

I just need some time alone and, thankfully, the kid had something after school and then straight to his dad’s to go out for dinner.

I appreciate your patience when I am like this - you have seen it, actually. That night last year when I was at your place and porn was the topic. That’s what happens when I’m triggered sometimes - I panic and try to find an escape and then I shut down, dissociate, and go non-verbal. I am literally incapable of speaking right now and also of direct communication with you. I’m calm and rational but that is tenuous and I need to do everything in my power to maintain it so I don’t spiral into self-loathing.