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I just am. Too much for myself, too much for anyone else, just too much. I’m equal parts overwhelmed and overwhelming. It was said that I am seeing things through “this lens of ADHD” and, reall...

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“Dissociation is a break in how your mind handles information. You may feel disconnected from your thoughts, feelings, memories, and surroundings. It can affect your sense of identity and your pe...

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I feel so bored with myself. I’m boring. I’m painfully aware of how boring I am. Time slows down. Nothing matters. It’s like I’m outside, looking in at my boring self, being critical of her. I pi...

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My mother always told me that. Teachers, bosses, friends. Everyone. I talk too much. It is the worst and most painful of all of my trauma responses, the most difficult for me to deal with, becaus...

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I have raging PMS and everything makes me cry. I have a bit of a sore throat, too, but no fever. Swollen glands, not sore on the inside, and no more than my usual (ex-cigarette-smoking, current-m...

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I feel like spring is extra-appropriate this year. I’m not religious and I don’t celebrate Easter in any way, but this really is a time of renewal, rebirth. I took my vaccinated self on a trip l...

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The cause is my sanity. Over-explaining, also known as the fawn response and people-pleasing, is a trauma response. In particular, it is a trauma response for someone who has been gaslit. I have...

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I am a formerly co-dependent person. The majority of my adult relationships were toxic, co-dependent nightmares, and that’s putting it mildly. Friendships, romantic relationships, familial relati...

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That’s how I feel right now. Really struggling with my body shape at the moment. I’ve gained a significant (to me) amount of weight in a short time and suddenly I don’t recognize my body anymore....

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self-conscious when I am alone. It’s weird, right? Like, no one can see me. No one. But sometimes I am just so uncomfortable in my own skin, I think, that even when I’m alone, I’m hyper-aware of...

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Sometimes when someone says “you can do it!” it makes it even harder and if it turns out you actually can’t do it well you’re just a big old disappointment now, aren’t ya?

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One minute my anxiety is through the roof and my leg is bouncing and I can’t sit still. The next, I’m sobbing and my body feels like a blob of pudding and I’m exhausted and can’t move. Sometimes...

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Just. So many. For so many reasons and no reason at all. (sigh) Depression is so boring. I’m over it.

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Sometimes I start to say something (in text, on the internet) and, halfway through my thought, I just stop and erase it because my brain says, “No one, literally no one, gives a single fuck what ...

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hurt people. I said that to my 13-year-old son today after yet another argument between him and my 20-year-old son. The older accuses the younger of gaslighting. He’s not always wrong about it. W...

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Sometimes, it’s just, you know. Recognizing you’re 1 in 7+ billion and nothing special and you’ve left no mark and someday you’ll just be gone, poof, and almost no one will know you ever existed....

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New goal. - Sometimes I stand up to leave the room, pick up my phone, and set it back down again. The thoughts, in fully formed sentences, enter my mind. It sounds like a voice similar to my own...

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Seeing people whine about not being able to see their families for Christmas is just the fucking most, ain’t it? These people would risk grandma’s life, risk not having all the same family member...

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That’s how I’ve been able to get to the point I’m at with mental illness. It’s not that I have it under control so much as I’ve just gotten very, very good at suppressing it, at suppressing any ...

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That’s what it feels like, a bit. Like finally being seen, feeling seen, and being and feeling loved, is what allowed me to see and love myself, to accept myself as I am, to be more gentle with m...

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It’s been a rough few days/weeks/months/year. I’ve been manic for… I don’t know how long. Awhile. If only it was the kind of manic that allowed me to accomplish many things. It has been that k...

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I’m not okay right this minute, but I’m okay. Everything is temporary. Nothing lasts forever. The sun will shine again. I have things to feel hopeful about even if I don’t feel any hope right n...

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Experiment failed. Extreme mania was triggered. I was clenching my jaw so hard for several days that it still hurts after not taking any Adderall for 3 days, like I got punched on both sides of m...

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The overall feeling of general well-being lasted through the whole day and evening. Unfortunately, the insomnia side-effect is definitely a thing. Considering I already had insomnia, I’m not surp...

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It’s been about 5 hours since my first dose of 20mg Adderall XR. I am feeling pretty calm and have been able to take care of several phone calls that I’ve been putting off (forgetting) for sever...

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