šŸŒˆ JustWillow šŸ¦„ ⋅ 46

Well-behaved women seldom make historyā€¦

Laurel Thatcher Ulrich

Entries 196

Page 3 of 8

October 27, 2020

Hang-up in Once more, with feeling...

Itā€™s this thing I just canā€™t get past, I donā€™t know how, not even sure if I could or should. I sit here sometimes and all I want is to hear your voice. I sometimes wish you could see what itā€™s l...


October 26, 2020

2 1/2 Years in Mental Health

In the two years and five months since the Wanker went to jail, I have accomplished more than in the thirty-nine years and seven months prior. So, I suppose I might have a little something to be ...


October 26, 2020

Dear you, in Phoenix

I would have believed you. If youā€™d told me what he was like instead of being vague and refusing to talk about it, I would have believed you. By the time I contacted you, I was already unsure and...


I think I was wrong. In therapy, back in 2012, she tried to get me to talk about my mother. My mother who died in 2011. And I said no, no point in talking about that, sheā€™s dead, sheā€™s gone, the...


October 11, 2020

ADHD, Combined Type in Mental Health

ā€œThis, the most common type of ADHD, is characterized by impulsive and hyperactive behaviors as well as inattention and distractibility.ā€ To me, it kinda seems like double-whammy ADHD. I wish I o...


September 27, 2020

Motherhood in Mental Health

Iā€™m not cut out for it. I never should have had children. I have never been emotionally equipped to deal with it. I guess I should be thankful that this is the last one I have to go through puber...


September 20, 2020

Is it possible... in Mental Health

ā€¦to love you too much? Would it be possible to be overly expressive? Am I? Am I annoying about it? Am I too much? I have recently recognized this thing, this fear, and I donā€™t know if itā€™s valid...


September 15, 2020

Unreal in Phoenix

Youā€™re like make-believe. A daydream, a fairy tale, a fantasy. Sometimes I wonder if I made it all up in my mind. Like maybe one day I really did break completely and Iā€™m actually heavily medicat...


September 13, 2020

A study in mushrooms... in Mental Health

Magic mushrooms, that is. Typing is funny. The letters on the screen, hilarious. I am still aware of typos, at least. Okay, so everything above this was written at approximately 9pm last night, S...


September 12, 2020

Would you tell me if... in Mental Health

I was too much? I had become annoying? I was no longer worth it? I talked too much? You didnā€™t want me around anymore? Or would you pity me? Be afraid of my fragility? Do I seem fragile? I feel f...


September 09, 2020

Love and ADHD. in Mental Health

Iā€™ve always lived under the shadow of the idea that good things would never happen to me because I donā€™t exactly have a history of good things happening. There were moments in time that I experie...


August 24, 2020

Not fast enough. in Mental Health

Iā€™ve been working on my mental health for 30 years, since I was maybe 12 and first heard of the concept of mental illness. I honestly canā€™t even remember what it was, that first reference that ma...


I ainā€™t got none. Kinda lost my shit at work today when I didnā€™t really need to but had no control over it. Like none. Zero. In an instant, my heart was racing, I was trembling, all the air had b...


July 20, 2020

Out of my league. in Mental Health

Thatā€™s how Iā€™ve always felt about pretty much everyone, like Iā€™m just this little nothing small-town girl and I donā€™t fit in, Iā€™m not good enough, smart enough, educated enough. Itā€™s a particular...


July 19, 2020

Conversation. in Mental Health

I would kill for one right now. Like one of those things where you make a pot of coffee and a friend comes over and you drink coffee and smoke a bunch of cigarettes and maybe some weed, too, and ...


July 17, 2020

Disillusioned. in Mental Health

Sad. Confused. Depressed. Hopeless. Thereā€™s just too much bad news. I made a new Facebook account to escape some of it. That was literally easier than going through and un-following a ton of pag...


Children are to be seen and not heard. Those two statements pretty much sum up everything I learned from my mother as a young child. Unfortunately, they have carried over well into adulthood. I s...


ā€¦without me. Iā€™ve had this thought pass through my mind more times than I could count. Iā€™m sensitive (overly-sensitive, some would say) and sometimes when my feelings get hurt (and no shame in a...


because that is what trauma survivors do. Unhealed childhood trauma can manifest in a lot of ways, like being a people pleaser, always feeling on high alert, having fears of abandonment, tolerat...


If you are working right now, face-to-face with the public in any way, you are a front-line worker. If you are a server in a restaurant, you are just as at risk of being exposed to COVID-19 as ho...


July 03, 2020

Uncertainty. in Mental Health

I am beginning to recognize some things about the way my brain has been working lately, things Iā€™m feeling not too sure about. Usually when Iā€™m having negative thoughts, I can recognize whether o...


Had one of those today on some cysts on my right parotid gland. A fine needle aspiration, whatever that means. It wasnā€™t much fun but it wasnā€™t horrible, either. So, I should know by the end of t...


Iā€™m noticing lately that Iā€™m actually experiencing disgust at ā€œnormalā€ relationship stuff I see on Facebook. Memes and such, you know, things that say, with really poor spelling and grammar, some...


May 14, 2020

Obsessed. in Mental Health

I am obsessive. Well, obsessive-compulsive. One of the things Iā€™m obsessed with is efficiency. I like picking tasks apart and figuring out the most efficient ways of completing them. No, wait, I...


Having you in my life has brought me a sense of peace and security that Iā€™ve never experienced before. I think I have never really believed that someone, anyone, loved me. I mean, romantically. I...


Books 7


66 Entries
Public

10 Entries
Public

102 Entries
Public

67 Entries
Public

12 Entries
Public

2 Entries
Public

6 Entries
Public