Park Row Fallout ⋅ 36

Midwest Attorney trying to navigate the waters of life

Each person feels pain in his own way, each has his own scars.

Haruki Murakami

Entries 2,170

Page 5 of 87

Oooooooooootay. So last night. I got home around 5:00 and greeted an ecstatic puppy. She’s… not happy that I’m back at the office full time and coming home to her is again like coming home afte...


June 17, 2020

Running in Reconstruction

Some more commentary edition: 10:45 Victoria just said she’d likely come over tonight. This is good. But as I have not showered, am worried about walking the dog, and don’t have anything cooked...


June 17, 2020

40 in Reconstruction

So… the conversation with Nancy: Some of it was expected, some of it wasn’t. Oddly, the parts that weren’t expected were parts that could have had a larger impact on me but for my emotional step...


I’m going to do today as a bit of running commentary as I used to do things. Why? Because I felt like it. Got up this morning and… grump. Not grump about the day or anything but just… sleep. ...


June 15th, 2020. That is the day I will mark on the calendar for when our entire community decided that willpower mattered more than health sciences. First: I was running a little behind today...


Victoria got a hold of me yesterday. We were talking and she was encouraging me to be more open about “going forward.” COVID restrictions being a bitch; but not letting those prevent me from go...


June 13, 2020

Stages in Reconstruction

A little story: I used to be a very angry person. Very angry. I would spend most of my energy on being angry. This was unhealthy, unpleasant, and undesirable. So I spent a great deal of time ...


June 12, 2020

On Nightmares in Reconstruction

So, I’ve been having intense and worsening nightmares this entire month. So far 11 nights of nightmares. Really intense, mostly violent and humiliating and disturbing. None of which I wanted t...


June 12, 2020

Sign Up in Reconstruction

I signed up for Better Help again. I’m… sick of the recurring nightmares that only seem to be getting worse. I’m sick of the lack of sleep. The loneliness. The trying to figure out why, appar...


June 10, 2020

On My Phone in Reconstruction

I am writing this on my phone and I hate doing that but… damn, do I need to write. I mean… I honestly know what all of you are going to say. Honestly. While I would love notes… I’m pretty sure...


So… things are still going on? Like… stuff and junk. I was feeling bad that I expect myself to be back at the office and haven’t been doing that. I mean… the rest of the office is doing so. Of...


So… it took longer than expected but… notes responded to (mostly) and new year item to be written. At the beginning of this year, all I KNEW was going to happen was the finalization of my marital...


I have not written about the current Race Issues here and I likely won’t. Back in my conservative days, this website and honest civil discourse helped me understand a lot of things that I simply...


Shout out to my dog who gets annoyed if we’re in the basement together and we aren’t running or playing. I’m staying up late to get some extra work done and while she desperately wants me to go ...


June 01, 2020

June 1, 20666 in Reconstruction

I want to start by thanking everyone for the notes on my last entry. I do intend to respond to each and every one of them within the next 48 hours. I also intend to follow through with my New Y...


May 30, 2020

Processesing in Reconstruction

So… I HATE that I have to say this before I write… but… I’m processing some painful shit that has deeply impacted me to my core. If this entry inspires you to jump to your critical, “god you suc...


May 30, 2020

Nacht Mare in Reconstruction

Just awoke from a night filled with nightmares. Things started okay but then The One I Love decided she would rather sleep around than commit to me. Distraught, I wandered. And found a woman t...


May 28, 2020

For Posterity in Reconstruction

I wasn’t sure if I was going to write this or if I should write this or anything but ultimately, I figured… I keep track of my history here. If I re-read old entries, it tells me where I was and...


May 27, 2020

Not a surprise in Reconstruction

It should come as no surprise that I’m just… tired, man. I’ve been burnt out before. Best Buy did it by abusing my body. Working at the jail did it by giving zero fucks about my safety or need...


Just saw a headline about the Dog Walker that read “Woman has entire life ruined for not putting on a mask” And it’s like… wow. JfuckingC. I get that all media intentionally warps shit in one w...


Continued evidence that I am now firmly stuck at the office… my writing an additional entry. Honestly, I needed to get that last entry out of my system. I simply cannot understand these days. ...


I suppose this shouldn’t come as any kind of surprise to me, really. But Day 1 back at the office is pissing me off for every reason you can imagine. Sit down at my desk and National Government ...


May 25, 2020

New New in Reconstruction

In exactly one week, it will be June 1st. Now… whether the world should pretend that nothing is wrong and everything is exactly as it should be or not… that, uh.... that’s what a lot of various ...


Those who have read me for a long time understand that I have long been obsessed with concepts of time travel. This is… more of an umbrella term for me. As I grew up, I didn’t realize that what...


Perhaps I’ve shared this here in this exact way before. I don’t know. That can be the problem with using the emotional side of my mind. My logic remembers the patterns, makes me a good lawyer....