Entries 2,307

Page 10 of 93

So… my day didn’t start out so hot. Basically… I woke up and figured my day was going to be drinking, jacking off, walking Nala, Anime, and video games. But at 2:00, Victoria invited me over. ...

---

AFTER one session, so far I like my therapist. Typically when I discuss service and my life to this point… I hear all sorts of shit about wanting to control others or narcissism or things of tha...

---

Well… the decision was made. Despite me taking Friday off and preparing my house and making sure everything would be just right for my parents to visit… So of course they called me Thursday nigh...

---

So… this is me having an emotional reaction before confirmation. A fairly typical response from me but also one of the reasons I can do my job (whether attorney or actor). Feel the emotions pri...

---

There is a County Government Leader in my office right now. This is one of the guys that directs our county. Has a position of power. Has influence. I WANT TO SCREAM AT HIM SO BADLY RIGHT NOW....

---

I am now more convinced than ever that my nightmares may be me traversing the multiverse to see how other Christophers have fared. Is this the darkest timeline or are there worse timelines? I’l...

---

There have often been long periods of time where my notes on other people’s Prosebox die off; or my reading of other peoples’ material takes a hiatus. And everyone is always good about saying, “...

---

So… I don’t know what happened. On Sunday night, I went to bed around 10 or 11. I was cognizant enough to know exactly where I put everything (glasses, clothes, etc.) AND YET...... At some poin...

---

What I intend to write here may be one of the potentially most offensive things I’ve written this year. Then again, it may not. Just know that I go into writing this with that intent. Obviousl...

---

Not as bad, per se. Mostly conversations I wish I could have. Me: so, what do I need to do to be worthy of sex? Nancy: I don’t get it. You mean, with me? Me: no. I don’t think we’ll ever hav...

---

Written on my phone: Today was weird and unexpected. For reasons beyond my understanding, today has actually been a day of personal mourning. I don’t get it. I have absolutely come to terms wi...

---

I haven’t had an alcoholic beverage in a week. Yet when I woke up… body pain and a massive headache that hasn’t left me all day. I’m working from home due to the pain. I’m sure my office think...

---

Oooooooooootay. So last night. I got home around 5:00 and greeted an ecstatic puppy. She’s… not happy that I’m back at the office full time and coming home to her is again like coming home afte...

---

Some more commentary edition: 10:45 Victoria just said she’d likely come over tonight. This is good. But as I have not showered, am worried about walking the dog, and don’t have anything cooked...

---

So… the conversation with Nancy: Some of it was expected, some of it wasn’t. Oddly, the parts that weren’t expected were parts that could have had a larger impact on me but for my emotional step...

---

I’m going to do today as a bit of running commentary as I used to do things. Why? Because I felt like it. Got up this morning and… grump. Not grump about the day or anything but just… sleep. ...

---

June 15th, 2020. That is the day I will mark on the calendar for when our entire community decided that willpower mattered more than health sciences. First: I was running a little behind today...

---

Victoria got a hold of me yesterday. We were talking and she was encouraging me to be more open about “going forward.” COVID restrictions being a bitch; but not letting those prevent me from go...

---

A little story: I used to be a very angry person. Very angry. I would spend most of my energy on being angry. This was unhealthy, unpleasant, and undesirable. So I spent a great deal of time ...

---

So, I’ve been having intense and worsening nightmares this entire month. So far 11 nights of nightmares. Really intense, mostly violent and humiliating and disturbing. None of which I wanted t...

---

I signed up for Better Help again. I’m… sick of the recurring nightmares that only seem to be getting worse. I’m sick of the lack of sleep. The loneliness. The trying to figure out why, appar...

---

I am writing this on my phone and I hate doing that but… damn, do I need to write. I mean… I honestly know what all of you are going to say. Honestly. While I would love notes… I’m pretty sure...

---

So… things are still going on? Like… stuff and junk. I was feeling bad that I expect myself to be back at the office and haven’t been doing that. I mean… the rest of the office is doing so. Of...

---

So… it took longer than expected but… notes responded to (mostly) and new year item to be written. At the beginning of this year, all I KNEW was going to happen was the finalization of my marital...

---

I have not written about the current Race Issues here and I likely won’t. Back in my conservative days, this website and honest civil discourse helped me understand a lot of things that I simply...

---