Typical in Reconstruction

  • June 25, 2020, 8:47 a.m.
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  • Public

So… this is me having an emotional reaction before confirmation. A fairly typical response from me but also one of the reasons I can do my job (whether attorney or actor). Feel the emotions prior to the crisis; plan a solution… and if the crisis happens (or is worse than imagined)… feel the feelings again but at least have a logical plan to base your next actions on.

So… my parents were going to visit this weekend. Masks, six feet away, taking proper steps to keep them and me safe. But it has been a hard COVID isolation and they are (rightly) worried about their son going through a divorce during this time. Even more so when it is the “feeling” son and that son works in a job dealing with very emotionally heavy criminal issues. I was looking forward to having them visit. Take Away from my two favorite restaurants. Walks with the dog. Sitting in the 3 Season room talking. Getting some “experienced home owner” assistance with some house issues. And just… seeing family during this emotional time.

My mom texted me last night to say that they aren’t sure they can come now. They may be getting a dog instead.

NOW… it isn’t that cut and dried necessarily. My parents are well known in the Iowa Golden Retriever Rescue community and they received a call that a Special Needs Golden may be available soon, if they would be okay adopting. So… noble and kind and service to a needy animal and all of that.

But at the same time? Sucks and makes me feel bad. “We’re worried about our son who is going through a divorce during COVID and works in a law enforcement job during BLM and focuses on Special Victim cases… and this is the first time we’ll be visiting him at his place in over 8 months despite monthly visits to our other son to see our grandchild. WAIT, WE COULD BE GETTING A DOG, INSTEAD? LET’S DO THAT!

Maybe I’m overreacting. But… it doesn’t exactly make me feel great. Especially when dealing with the whole, “Nancy was family for almost 10 years and was able to replace me in a matter of weeks. My parents have been family my whole life and would rather get a dog than come see me.” OBVIOUSLY this is preemptive. They may not even get the dog; in which case they’d come visit. But… just kind of sucks. One more thing this year that I looked forward to until “oh, it might be cancelled.”

hippiechica15 June 25, 2020

I'd be a little miffed too!!

DE_KentuckyGirl June 25, 2020

Can't bring the dog with them? Might be good for the pups to play! Is that an option?

hippiechica15 DE_KentuckyGirl ⋅ June 25, 2020

With a new foster dog I would NOT recommend this. To foster a dog there are generally rules about letting the dog adjust so you can learn their temperament and avoid bad situations. Dogs that have been in a temporary or shelter situation are often stressed and anxious and will act in ways different than what is normal for them. Could result in a person or Nala getting attacked.

TrippyNina June 25, 2020

That is shitty. You have a right to feel what you are feeling.

Down the rabbit hole... June 25, 2020

Well A. If you want to ask homeowner questions, feel free... i think I've been through it all at this point. B. If all else fails you could go visit them and have Nancy come stay with your dog. So there's options.

Rhapsody in Purple June 28, 2020

Could you tell them how important their visit is to you. I can’t imagine your parents choosing a dog over you if they understood how you are actually going through all this.

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