littlefallsmets ⋅ 43

I write words, I sometimes get to perform them out, sometimes I'm even paid. And I'm trying to get it right, get it right.

with enough repetition, your flaws become your style

@Cecconi140

Entries 4,655

Page 4 of 187

October 26, 2022

o 26 in idea barrages

Last night’s nightmare involved having to take the Math regents as an adult while a virus that scrambled peoples’ emotional responses was tearing through the community. You ask “Mike, why don’t...


October 24, 2022

o 24 in idea barrages

You know, we could start a whole new Kenny Rogers themed coffee chain, in the ashes of his chicken chain, and still use the name “Kenny Rogers Roasters”. It would still work perfectly. If you...


October 22, 2022

o 22 in idea barrages

A parody of “Lido Shuffle” about Ghostbusters 2’s Vigo The Carpathian. I am now old enough where people younger than me are getting their musical nostalgia tours with a bunch of early 2000s p...


“So, why is everyone on here always hitting the pound key?” “What do you mean by that,” she’d known teaching her mother how to use Twitter would be difficult, she hadn’t known it’d be quite this ...


October 20, 2022

o 20 in idea barrages

An interesting thing about the porn-sick is the baseline they judge attractiveness on. A sane person would judge it at “the median of people who would voluntarily get naked for me in person”. B...


October 18, 2022

o 18 in idea barrages

A discount electronics store called Circuits Peanuts. Gluten God: The Demon Baker Of Wheat Street. Funko Pops are just plastic NFTs. Vampire fashion is static, unchanging, neither newfang...


October 16, 2022

o 16 in idea barrages

The optimal title for an album is “Self-Doubt Helps Us Not Be Monsters”. A great name for a band is “Lip Glossolalia”. When food does a strip tease, that’s just rice peel-off. Y’know, at ...


October 14, 2022

o 14 in idea barrages

If you really cared about music, you wouldn’t be complaning about Lizzo’s flute, you would be helping me find and destroy the six cursed puka shell necklaces that bind the demon Dave Matthews t...


“I’ve never seen anyone do that before,” he said. “Do what?” I asked, squirting ketchup onto my mozzarella sticks. “Put ketchup on mozzarella sticks. That’s a new one on me.” “Well, I’m part-Ital...


October 12, 2022

o 12 in idea barrages

A parody of GNR’s “Double Talkin’ Jive” about apple picking? Considering how ambiguous the gender of a puppet really is, I sort of like calling the muppet band The Electric Theythem. If you...


October 09, 2022

o 10 in idea barrages

I despise when news stories about disasters are like “500,000 Customers Without Power”. They’re not customers. We are not customers. We’re people. Those are people without power. In this case, ...


October 08, 2022

o 8 in idea barrages

Dan Brown doesn’t know for history at all, Dan Brown doesn’t know for history at all, Dan Brown doesn’t know for history at all, his bullshit marches ooooooooonnnnn.... In my long line of pot...


“You can’t beat the devil by a nose,” the old man said, on the stoop where he sat every night for years, at least since I’d moved into the neighborhood, “that’s not how it works. If it’s even clo...


October 06, 2022

o 6 in idea barrages

Sadly, “Watching The Detectives” didn’t start a trend of true-crime shows with reggae-inflected theme-songs because “No Body, No Crime” would’ve been pretty fun. You can tell her heart isn’t ...


October 03, 2022

o 4 in idea barrages

How many people did see semi-regularly before COVID, kept up with well online but have seen rarely in person over the last 2 years, that only go by their first & middle names online, how ma...


October 02, 2022

o 2 in idea barrages

I figure since I’m the last human being alive that hasn’t been rumoured to play Doctor Doom, hey, might as well pretend I’m in the running too. DAMN. YOU. RICHARDS!!! How’s that? For all the ...


I hadn’t told her that I’d entered a contest for a show that she would’ve liked I’d forgotten all about it a week later when I checked my burner e-mail that I use for things like coup...


September 30, 2022

sep 30 in idea barrages

A song called “Last Easter” by a band called Sacrificial Wham. A parody of “Take Me Home, Country Roads” about Mad Max: Fury Road. A parody of “Up on Cripple Creek” about OnlyFans involving...


My library gig and my love of baseball have one thing in common: they both bring my childhood back around when I least expect it. Explaining our local quartz exhibit by producing a “diamond” my f...


September 28, 2022

sept 28 in idea barrages

In Soviet Russia, camp went to ERNEST. Everyone’s always getting pedantic or metaphysical about who we should call Frankenstein when the real truth is that Big Head Todd was the REAL monster ...


Hydro-Man and Sandman fell in love summoned up a silty flood made their baby out of mud thicker than radioactive blood stronger than any man or spider coin flip as their gend...


September 25, 2022

sept 26 in idea barrages

A semi-autobiographical novel about being a burnt-out former Gifted and Talented late-Gen-Xer in the post COVID hellscape called “The Trauma Bums”. A creation bard who worked as a sideshow ba...


September 24, 2022

sept 24 in idea barrages

When wrestling had Bobby “The Brain” Heenan and Jesse “The Body” Ventura, at best, at very best, I could’a been “The Limbic System”. If you’re mostly a martial character but you pick up a lit...


September 22, 2022

the real folk blues in poetry

now I’m no John Henry but I am a still-driven man and I’m no Paul Bunyan but I’m standing as tall as I can I’m no Johnny Apples still I’m sewing the seeds of my plans I...


Most technological advances become routine after a decade or two. It’s a quirk of our incredibly short lives. It needs to work like that for people to not go crazy. The wheel or radio, the intern...


Books 8


1272 Entries
Public

140 Entries
Public

2910 Entries
Public

43 Entries
Public


207 Entries
Public

3 Entries
Public