littlefallsmets ⋅ 44

I write words, I sometimes get to perform them out, sometimes I'm even paid. And I'm trying to get it right, get it right.

with enough repetition, your flaws become your style


Entries 5,006

Page 4 of 201

February 08, 2024

fb9 in idea barrages

Have I previously mentioned on social media how my brain always mashes up “Sex & Candy” with “Closing Time” whenever I hear either song? It seems like something I’d note but I don’t remembe...

The Clio Awards are an annual awards program recognizing innovation and creative excellence in advertising-related fields, according to some basement-dweller weirdo writing on Wikipedia. Sort of ...

February 06, 2024

fb7 in idea barrages

Y’know what was fun? Watching the 3-D teevee fad die, like every other grasping gimmick in media history. Y’know what’ll be fun? Watching every attempt at making augmented or virtual reality ma...

February 04, 2024

fb5 in idea barrages

If it wasn’t the name of a deadly insect borne illness, “malaria” would be a great name for a flower. “Oh, you know it’s June when you see the malarias in bloom.” Anxiety is a culture, a cult...

February 02, 2024

fb3 in idea barrages

It’s not so much that I take ibuprofen “as needed”, at the level of my chronic back and hip pain, it’s more like part of the recipe of my life. It’s a seasoning of my neural system. I take ibup...

There are some things we will never know. If you consider the vastness of this universe, how long it’s been and will be around, the percentage of things-knowable by the human race is so infinites...

January 31, 2024

fb1 in idea barrages

Imagine a situation where you are morally obligated to cheer for Mark Zuckerberg because the other guy is even worse. I had to let myself become absent-minded to an extent, scatterbrained to ...

January 29, 2024

jan30 in idea barrages

The arrogance and presumptuousness of the wealthy create a stupidity far more dangerous than any mere ignorance could ever hope to birth. As a couple, they decided that a vasectomy would be f...

January 27, 2024

jan28 in idea barrages

Maybe The Weeknd is missing that E because Vampire Weekend bit him and sucked it out and before they were Vampir Weekend. Werner Herzog as Gargamel in a Smurfs movie. That’s it. That’s the tw...

January 25, 2024

jan 26 in idea barrages

Thing is, we all deserve happiness but no one deserves happiness at anyone else’s expense. We all deserve love but no one particular person owes us love. All we can do is try to treat others we...

He’s afraid he needs to be perfect. He doesn’t need that. It’s easy as putting a disc in the slot and hitting a button on the remote control. I know that even if he made a mistake, it’d do no dam...

January 23, 2024

jan 24 in idea barrages

You are wandering through a desert, dying of thirst, aimlessly trying to find water, you will be dead soon. But at least you can use that “long time, no sea” joke you’ve been saving up. It almo...

January 21, 2024

janu22 in idea barrages

I don’t know what it’d look like exactly, but the first person to come up with a viable pitch to Food Network that uses the title FOOD COURT is probably in for a decent paycheck. Now, if Degr...

January 19, 2024

jan20 in idea barrages

If DAVE AND BUSTERS turned out to be founded by Dave Matthews and Buster Poindexter, would you be more or less likely to go to their Grown-Up Chuck E Cheese Without The Cool Robots? Just decl...

January 17, 2024

jan18 in idea barrages

A parody of Modest Mouse’s “Coyotes” about Bronson Pinchot. 83% of fan-fiction can be summed up in five words: “oh no! only one bed!” A Hitchhiker’s Guide To The Galaxy porn parody called M...

It was a helluva thing, of course, for Frank to wake from his coma and find his entire species had disappeared off the face of the Earth. The loneliness and existential dread of discovering himse...

January 15, 2024

janu16 in idea barrages

I finally had an even better idea for a parody of Steely Dan’s “Kid Charlemagne” than making it about Kid Icarus. GET ALONG, GET ALONG TIM CHALAMET, GET ALONG TIM CHALAMET. One of the lit...

January 13, 2024

janu14 in idea barrages

In Hill Valley California, the Mandela Effect is known as “The Twin Pines Effect”, on account of people who inexplicably remember The Lone Pine Mall being called The Twin Pines Mall. The cher...

January 11, 2024

janu12 in idea barrages

Frankenberry was the cereal. Dr. Frankenberry was the true monster. “Golf! Brought to you by the people who funded the 9/11 terrorist attacks!” is one of those things I never would’ve predict...

“If you’re the last of your kind,” I asked tentatively, gently as I could, “and it’s been that way for ages?” “Both of which I’m,” Frank interposed, “reasonably certain.” “So why do so many rando...

January 09, 2024

jan10 in idea barrages

A landscaping fetish involves a lot of weed-whacking and a whole lot of edging. I hope the person who does the medical tests for high-end brothels is called a “notary pubic”. The fact that ...

January 07, 2024

jan8 in idea barrages

Shredder was pretty good with short-term battlefield tactics, but when it came to the long-view planning, Krang was the brains of the operation. A motorcycle that runs on beer called a Barley...

January 05, 2024

jan6 in idea barrages

Yosemite Sam didn’t want to do the appearance and signing at the furry convention his agent offered him but he knew he really needed the money. “Great,” he muttered sarcastically as he signed t...

January 04, 2024

the fault in our scars in poetry

If you want to know why you’re always hit on the most and the weirdest and the worst outside of the local gas stations it’s because the gas stations profit from being ...

January 03, 2024

janu4 in idea barrages

If it were easy, everyone would already have it done. Tesla Motors is the Disney Galactic Starcruiser of cars. Constantly pretend to confuse Thomas Pynchon with Bronson Pinchot, “Balki” fro...

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