april 4 in idea barrages

If I had any musical talent, I’d craft an summer rock anthem called “I’m Handsome For A Thick Boy”, not only for all the other chonky dudes to gain confidence, but for myself, since it’d be my hit song, it’d be okay for me to sing it all the time to hype myself up.

I feel like the next MAGA trend will be surgery so that their pee comes out their butts so the penis is ONLY for sex and they’ll call the new pee-butts “broaca”.

“Travis Scott” sounds like the name of a high-end specialty toilet paper for people really really really into country and western music.

I just hope that the specialty chef who sets up fondue pots is called the “fondler”.

A line from a Talking Heads parody I’ll never finish: “that was a Pizza Hut / now it’s where I do my taxes / you got it, you got it”.

If I’ve learned anything from social media, it’s that vagueposting someone on it never actually bugs them, it makes them happy that they’re living rent free in your head. Mostly just tell jokes. If you mostly just tell jokes, no one’ll ever know what rattling about in your cage.

The only interesting DC/Marvel crossover left to try would be Galactus vs. Matter-Eater-Lad in a planet eating contest refereed by Joey Chestnut.

Letting anger take the wheel is like drinking poison, hoping it will hurt someone else. Every time you give into rage, you kill another piece of yourself, it’s like incremental suicide-bombings where the only thing you hurt is you. Your reason is lost and you burn yourself away.