littlefallsmets ⋅ 39

I write words, I sometimes get to perform them out, sometimes I'm even paid. And I'm trying to get it right, get it right.

with enough repetition, your flaws become your style


Entries 3,229

Page 2 of 130

July 04, 2019

july 5 in idea barrages

1.) Small business is vital, small business is wonderful. But once a business is too big to listen to the needs of its workers, its customers and its local community, it has failed. It has failed...

July 03, 2019

july 4 in idea barrages

1.) Vote Susan “The Invisible Woman” 2020 - For Transparency In Government 2.) Your band that only plays heavy metal covers of Gordon Lightfoot will be called “Gordon Heavyfoot”. 3.) Get you a m...

July 02, 2019

july 3 in idea barrages

1.) If people end up actually offended after a comedy roast, that can lead to roast beef. 2.) Did they ever do a knock-off of Angry Birds where the projectiles are the head of Aaron Burr? 3.) Ev...

July 01, 2019

july 2 in idea barrages

1.) Where the seamstress for the band in TINY DANCER and the tailor in HOUSE OF THE RISING SUN related somehow? Grandmother and grand daughter? That’s my new head canon. 2.) A mash-up of the X-Fi...

June 30, 2019

july 1 in idea barrages

1.) An evil pastry chef called Infectioner’s Sugar. 2.) If your colostomy bag bursts, it is now a catastrophe bag. 3.) I still like to refer to Bea Arthur’s role in the Star Wars Holiday Special...

June 29, 2019

june capstone in idea barrages

1.) It is a shame that not enough people would understand a parody of Skynyrd’s “Simple Man” about the Charmin mascot Mister Whimple. 2.) There are not enough memes where Bernie Sanders is replac...

“What you might not expect,” the Amazing Mitzi once told the sasquatch called Frank, “is how fake magic is actually magnitudes more difficult than actual magic.” She smiled, gestured with her rig...

June 28, 2019

june 29 in idea barrages

1.) Every individual tree is important. Holy even, maybe. But if you burn down the forest trying to save any one particular tree, you’ve just burned down thousands of important maybe holy individ...

June 27, 2019

june 28 in idea barrages

1.) Just because it’s stupid doesn’t mean it isn’t true. Just because it’s real doesn’t make it right. 2.) In Soviet maudlin pop-country music, Harper Valley widowed wife tells story about YOU. ...

June 26, 2019

june 27 in idea barrages

1.) Interestingly, other than the time crunch, taking an improv class and learning how to be a waiter are really synergistically helping each other. What’s more “yes, and”, what’s more going with...

June 25, 2019

june 26 in idea barrages

1.) If you can find the Bible passage where Jesus says “imprison and humiliate your neighbors for trying to get their children a better life”, show it to me and I’ll buy that these bigots are act...

June 24, 2019

june 25 in idea barrages

1.) “Greed is good” was bad enough in the ’80s, throw “Hate is profitable” on top of it in the ’10s and this is where we are now. 2.) Do you think Manilow would ever stop singing that “I Write Th...

There’s not much need for a calendar in Southern California, certainly not inside the Thirty-Mile Zone. There are only two seasons of any significance in Los Angeles, the season of fires and the ...

June 23, 2019

june 24 in idea barrages

1.) The enduring paradox of our damned human race is that we don’t live long enough to realize how short life is. It’s too precious to even realize within it how precious the whole thing is, my l...

June 22, 2019

june 23 in idea barrages

1.) What’s blue, lives under the sea and can only sing in lists of things? ATLANTIS MORRISETTE. 2.) All the kids are complaining about “virtue signaling” but I’m the old man complaining about “no...

June 21, 2019

june 22 in idea barrages

1.) In Soviet terrible nu-metal, floor lets the bodies hit you. 2.) Some people can fake it ‘til they make it. Not me. Once I’m good at something, I’m really good, but my confidence comes AFTER m...

June 20, 2019

june 21 in idea barrages

1.) I have taken to calling all of the boring white people cynically trying to become “cool” right-wing social media influencers “Blaynd Rand” collectively. 2.) When I am making fun of a band, I ...

June 19, 2019

june 20 in idea barrages

1.) I wonder how many times people have told members of America that it’s actually called Ventura Freeway. 2.) When you realize the Book of Revelation was just a stoned monk shitposting at Nero, ...

June 18, 2019

june 19 in idea barrages

1.) Cutting a joke from your bit because you know the cartoon THE CRITIC did it better is called “Achem’s Razor”. 2.) I don’t think it’s weird to say that it’d be a much better show were it 900-D...

June 17, 2019

june 18 in idea barrages

1.) How there is no John Wick Airwick tie-in, I’ll never know. How there is no John Wick beef-on-weck, I’ll also never know. 2.) Few people would want to hear a parody of “What A Fool Believes” o...

Stupidity is an under-rated characteristic, at least at the beginning of your journey, at least in the entertainment business, especially in Los Angeles. It helps to start off stupidly, stupid as...

June 16, 2019

june 17 in idea barrages

1.) I mean, in the end, we get this little slice of being alive on the back of all the things that died to become our constituent parts. Ain’t no opting out of mortality after the fact. Enjoy it ...

June 15, 2019

june 16 in idea barrages

1.) Listen, there were always gay and trans folk, just now they’re coming forward. There were always autistic people, it’s just we’re diagnosing better. There isn’t “estrogen in the water” or “po...

June 14, 2019

june 15 in idea barrages

1.) I mean, I could change up from the Ted Danson based parodies to Charlie Manson with MANSON IN THE MOONLIGHT. Sure. 2.) Avoiding taxation is theft from the shared society that created the stab...

June 13, 2019

june 14 in idea barrages

1.) Now a parody about the obscure and terrible Zelda game for the Philips-CDi THE WAND OF GAMELON, to the tune of Steely Dan’s BABYLON SISTERS, that’d be so out there, I would barely get it even...

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