littlefallsmets ⋅ 46 ⋅

I write words, I sometimes get to perform them out, sometimes I'm even paid. And I'm trying to get it right, get it right.

with enough repetition, your flaws become your style

@Cecconi140

Entries 5,453

Page 2 of 219

I was born with an odd number of wisdom teeth, literally-and-figuratively odd. Three. I’ve been told that’s rather rare, that most people are born with two or four wisdom teeth, sometimes none a...


March 03, 2026

m4 in idea barrages

I have like ten ideas about the Ben Folds Five album cut “Jackson Cannery” but obscurity is no aid to comedy. A parody about a lich and it’s “and I’ve got my phylactery”? Mash it up with Jam...


March 02, 2026

m2 in idea barrages

Oh no! The only frozen treat the truck sells is vegan tofutti pops! Goddamn the Good Humourless Man! You will cover Rush songs in a death metal style as TOM SLAYER. Did we ever get a...


February 27, 2026

f28 in idea barrages

Doing something terrible and then defending yourself with “well, other people have gotten away with it before, so I should be able to as well, it’s only fair!” is the rock-bottom argument fo...


Magic didn’t just simply come into the world, it ran rampant. The discovery or rediscovery of it, not as a subtle occult force that could be mistaken for coincidence or confidence tricks, not as...


February 26, 2026

feb 26 in idea barrages

Why call them “final exams” when you could call them “the testival”? The Fast and the Curious George”. That’s it. That’s that pitch. She’s a 10 but will only address you as “MORTAL!”...


February 24, 2026

f24 in idea barrages

Why say “atomic half life” when you could say “shrinkflation”? A biting satire of all novelty records called “It Was The Monsters’ Thanksgiving”. A retro video-game chip-tune band ca...


February 21, 2026

f22 in idea barrages

The Nicholson Joker whispering to you seductively “wait’ll they get a load in ME!” Why say “the drinks are on the house” when you can say “roof beer”? Repelling Amish Superman with h...


February 20, 2026

f20 in idea barrages

Skeet Ulrich IS Stanley Kowalsky IN “A Skeetcar Named Desire”. The only person who jumps to championship conclusions after just a little success faster than a Jets fan is a Knicks fan. H...


They called him Powerless Steve. They all did. It didn’t matter if his full legal name was Stephen Baker, someone at that college once called him that once and that nickname just kinda stuck. Th...


February 18, 2026

f18 in idea barrages

I just keep hearing “will o the wisp” as “we’ll all go west” in this song and I think it says something about me. You can’t just yell OH NO! I MADE A PENGUIN MISTAKE! and not expect peop...


February 16, 2026

f16 in idea barrages

the Nine Lives Ranch was an open minded community. while it was ruled by a matriarchy of catgirls, it had its place for catboys as well as those who were nyan-binary. Movies are so dark...


February 14, 2026

f14 in idea barrages

“Double check this stool sample for me” the doctor said, confused and concerned, “this shit doesn’t make any sense.” A great pun, but also a terrible mental image, lay inside the phrase ...


Mental illness isn’t funny. It’d be cruel to say it is. But it’d also be a lie to say its manifestations, if taken out-of-context, aren’t sometimes as hilarious as they are in-context tragic and...


February 11, 2026

f12 in idea barrages

Dear Hidden Valley Ranch, Pickle Ranch should’ve stayed Valley Hidden. Whenever some “MRA” or whatnot calls himself an “Alpha” ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS RESPOND “…you’re the robot on Power Ra...


February 10, 2026

f10 in idea barrages

It’s not the art that tortures the artist, the art is joy. The torture is living in a world ill equipped to value the art. Your best drinking buddy is your swignificant other. Super ...


February 07, 2026

f8 in idea barrages

A mash of Even The Nights Are Better and the Lavrene and Shirley theme. Comedy childcare injuries are treated in the Peekaboo ICU. It was terrible that Michael Richards was racist as...


February 07, 2026

guarded in poetry

her mouth contained pomegranate stained teeth and secrets mostly well-hidden but there occasionally a flash of brilliant red or a hint at some wisdom even the gods themselves held in abject ...


February 05, 2026

f6 in idea barrages

“And this is my AAA card…” the tow truck drive looked at the card “You’re in the… Agnostics Against Abstinence?” “I’m in the AAA, yes.” So if India has Bollywood, is there a bindipendent...


The ships were gone, finally gone, having escaped the surly bonds of Earth’s atmosphere and off toward the one theoretically-livable planet within the Proxima Centauri system. Once their stellar...


February 03, 2026

f4 in idea barrages

A redneck version of Yakov Smirnov called “Jake Whiskey”, as a first draft of the horror that eventually became “Larry The Cable Guy”. The cool new posters for the Phantom Menace re-rele...


February 01, 2026

f2 in idea barrages

HP but, like, not Harry Potter. Like, Hewlett Packard And The Over-Priced Inks or whatever. A nature show in a ren faire that calls itself Mutual of Omaha’s Feudal Kingdom. An entire...


January 30, 2026

j31 in idea barrages

Is there any worse sign for an animated film than an ad where they have side by side footage of the stunt-cast non-voice-actor celebrity recording the lead voice? They’re admitting there’s n...


Learning is the first step and it is a necessary one. You gotta learn how to learn. Learning how to unlearn the greed and cruelty foisted upon you by culture and relearning the love you understo...


January 29, 2026

j29 in idea barrages

To observe the functions of the CERN accelerator, you need to use a collideoscope. So, every area just gets to call their county fairgrounds swap meet “the world’s largest (something) sa...


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