littlefallsmets ⋅ 41

I write words, I sometimes get to perform them out, sometimes I'm even paid. And I'm trying to get it right, get it right.

with enough repetition, your flaws become your style


Entries 4,116

Page 2 of 165

April 25, 2021

apr 25 in idea barrages

If the publicly intoxicated are thrown in the drunk tank, are the publicly stoned thrown in the dank tank? I like to imagine that for over two centuries, the seven Presidents of the United St...

At the western edge of town, there’s the first gas station headed in or (more likely) headed out, the Dawn Mart, open five A.M to midnight, for all your lottery or beer or milk or beer or gas or ...

April 22, 2021

apr 24 in idea barrages

In England, the head of a restaurant kitchen is called a “Cheoff”. We only serve one dish: General Tsiao’s Chicken in a bread bowl. We are PANDERA EXPRESS. A surrealistic drunken tour of a ...

April 22, 2021

apr 23 in idea barrages

Pizza Hut Pringles: once you PARP, you don’t starp! I love how the GOP’s only possible logical defense for using a Nazi-appropriated rune in their set design would be “No no, we’re just sayin...

April 22, 2021

apr 22 in idea barrages

Single-issue extremists falling down the rabbit hole of getting more and more repellent allies as they look for anyone who will back them up, it would be hilarious if it wasn’t so deleterious t...

There’s a saying “not all who wander are lost”, some people think it’s from the Grateful Dead, others think it’s from Led Zeppelin and in their ways, both are close, but it’s from Tolkien, old Jo...

April 18, 2021

apr 21 in idea barrages

I AM NOT A DANIMAL, the yogurt screamed, I AM A YOPLATIPUS! A country song entitled SHE STOLE MY TWEEZERS SO I HAD TO SHAVE MY EARS INSTEAD. If you want to make a bad children’s movie, you ...

April 18, 2021

apr 20 in idea barrages

Caught smoking behind the refrigerated birds exhibit, the manager just ordered the stoned zoologist into a meeting. “HR.” she said, “Puffin Stuff.” We’re gonna make your yardcare real easy by...

April 18, 2021

apr 19 in idea barrages

In the 1960s, American public schools were systematically exorcised of their ghosts in the controversial practice that came to be known as Forced Bustin’. It did not necessarily make everyone f...

April 15, 2021

apr 18 in idea barrages

“Bronson Pinchot’s been working out,” she cooed, “that’s one bulky Bartokamous.” Tim Allen wakes up in an insane asylum, gripped by the delusion he inherited the role of Father Christmas in T...

April 15, 2021

apr 17 in idea barrages

Be pedantic about 1990s post-grunge. “If you think about it, Big Head Todd was the REAL Monster.” A parody of Beck’s “Loser” about MTV News’ Kurt Loder would mystify anyone more than ten year...

April 15, 2021

apr 16 in idea barrages

How does Seal not have a “Kiss From A Rosé” wine on the market? A D&D item that specifically enhances Bard spells called The Orb of Royerson. WANTED: THE JOKER. FOR THE CRIMES OF: PICKI...

April 15, 2021

roadside attractions in poetry

seven hundred and sixty five miles from here to the fireworks shop those vaguely racist billboards advertise down the ninety-five one thousand six hundred and five from here to the d...

April 15, 2021

a little bit in poetry

born an incidental heir to the goddess Eris accidentally dated mostly German and Irish length of life led to leaving me airless superstitious and cowardly and dareless lacking from ...

Necessary errands of some kind or another drag you out into the world, near the beginning of the end of some terrible thing that’s nowhere near over but just close enough to an ending where you k...

April 12, 2021

apr 15 in idea barrages

“FedEx/UPS erotic fan-fiction?” “Ship it!” Your pain, your trauma, it didn’t make you who you are, not really. How you dealt with it, how you processed it, what you took from the process of h...

April 12, 2021

apr 14 in idea barrages

In the end, pop music is the astrology of entertainment, saying vague things about relationships & empowerment literally anyone of any birthdate or identity can identify with. Tofu to soak...

April 12, 2021

apr 13 in idea barrages

If the guy from Train had been cool, his liquor line wouldn’t have been Drops of Jupiter wine, it would’ve been Drops of Juniper gin, it’s just a smarter better pun but, then again, if he was c...

April 11, 2021

life lessens in poetry

life is the longest thing you’ll ever do life’s the shortest thing you’ll ever do life is the easiest thing you’ll ever do life is the hardest thing you’ll ever do life’s the weirdest ...

April 11, 2021

moving violations in poetry

love can move faster than the light love can be two places at the same time or three or five love knows its speed and its location simultaneously is unchanged by outside observation ...

April 10, 2021

april showers in poetry

the skeletons of long-abandoned above-ground vinyl swimming pools the bodegas and dollar stores where once your childhood pizzerias stood a car-struck possum by the roadside awaiting natu...

April 09, 2021

apr 12 in idea barrages

Truth is wonderful, justice is meaningful, love is glorious but they all mean nothing if you aren’t humane, aren’t kind. Every well-meaning impulse under the sun can be twisted into a corrupt b...

April 09, 2021

apr 11 in idea barrages

Bitten by both moss and fungus, by the light of the full moon, he transforms into a powerful but terrifying lichenthrope. Quentin Tarantino was very disappointed when he got to the store and ...

April 09, 2021

apr 10 in idea barrages

RON HOWARD VOICE: The Keurig Machine was not de-scaled. J’onn J’onzz except he takes a job in a fine-dining restaurant’s kitchen instead of as a detective and his superhero sobriquet is inste...

April 07, 2021

apr 9 in idea barrages

Love can move faster than light. Love can be in two places at once. Love knows its speed and location at the same time. It violates all the laws at once. Hate is bound to every little technical...

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