littlefallsmets ⋅ 40

I write words, I sometimes get to perform them out, sometimes I'm even paid. And I'm trying to get it right, get it right.

with enough repetition, your flaws become your style


Entries 3,734

Page 2 of 150

Out past the northeastern exurbs of Los Angeles, past the Nazified city council of Santa Clarita, past the desolation of Palmdale where everyone bought houses thinking the property-speculation bu...

June 22, 2020

june 24 in idea barrages

Democracy isn’t waking up to a Super Nintendo under the tree Christmas morning because you asked for it every day. Democracy is terribly difficult choices and terribly easy math. And screaming ...

June 22, 2020

june 23 in idea barrages

If only Ollie were more familiar with the Rolling Stones catalogue, I’m sure he’d find me singing “I CAN’T GET NO, SASSY FAT DOG” to him funny. It’s astonishing the extent to which the fringe...

June 20, 2020

felix and felicity in poetry

the cat, our cat we had to have his leg removed to excise the cancer that was killing him he was my father’s first and foremost my dad is gone now, dead Felix is a connection back t...

June 20, 2020

june 22 in idea barrages

You can name your tiefling rogue “Thiefling”. It is not against the law. If you’re asking me to choose between human lives and the economy, well, assets to assets, dust to dust, peoples is pe...

June 20, 2020

june 21 in idea barrages

You could name your life cleric Lester Restoration. I’m just saying here. It isn’t supposed to be this cold when the sun is out this early. Seasons, my dude, pick one. The Insane Clown Poss...

June 18, 2020

june 20 in idea barrages

Yeah, well, what if it isn’t such a great googly moogly? What if it is merely an adequate googly moogly? What then? I fear that if I didn’t have sacrilege, I wouldn’t have any rilege at all. ...

June 18, 2020

june 19 in idea barrages

Somewhere, there is a furry ruining a great banger of a song by singing it “uWu, Wewewowves of Wondon, uWu”. If you need to remember to social distance, think of how terrible Aerosmith’s cove...

June 16, 2020

june 18 in idea barrages

Your heist-focused rogue-heavy D&D campaign will be called “Ocean’s Elven”. Way this year is going, April worries bring May flurries. Imagine exposing yourself to a potentially deadly d...

June 16, 2020

june 17 in idea barrages

America on 4/20/20 was, like, five thousand rednecks coughing on each other on governors’ lawns chanting “WE THE PEOPLE” and three hundred million stoners looking at their marijuana buds in the...

A lie’s just a story that won’t admit that it’s a story. A worst kind of story, an anti-story. I know for stories, they’re the only thing I’m any good at. Here we are within an age of lies, of do...

June 14, 2020

june 16 in idea barrages

HARD PILLS TO SWALLOW: Bitcoins are just Beanie Babies for libertarians. In a way, they ARE socially distancing, just with extra steps. Who would wanna hang out with a jackass who goes to a g...

June 14, 2020

june 15 in idea barrages

It’ll be like an ice cream truck but we’ll go around selling pens and pencils and paper goods and stuff like that. We’ll call it MOBILE STATIONERY. Your horror show about an Italian chef so b...

June 12, 2020

june 14 in idea barrages

It’s a chalupa shell filled with a spicy cheese sauce and Slim Jims. It’s called the Nacho Man Randy Sandwich. What if we get a Democratic governor to tell them to never put salt in their eye...

June 12, 2020

june 13 in idea barrages

Maybe we could just tell these people that President Obama said that breathing is really cool and just… see what happens next? At some point, they must’ve called that cologne just Spice. Wh...

June 12, 2020

tight rope in poetry

it’s not as easy as choosing between the darkness and the light I wish it was that easy that life wasn’t more complicated than that one simple choice but nothing is that binary too much lig...

June 11, 2020

with a cause in idea barrages

in a universe where decay is written into the very code of how atoms work where entropy will always win the war even if we can hold it off in the battle now and again in a...

June 10, 2020

june 12 in idea barrages

Lately, to the tune of the State Farm jingle, I want to greet the dog: “Hey look there’s Ollie, fat tiny bear!” Understanding the sweetness of a good pun streak really only takes getting on a...

June 10, 2020

june 11 in idea barrages

Seeing Jack White in a dream is a sign you are going to watch a Tim Burton movie in the near future. Wal-Mart has us so broke by putting all the small businesses that paid better out of busin...

June 10, 2020

june 10 in idea barrages

A parody of The Flaming Lips “She Don’t Use Jelly” based around the line “she was in quuuuuuuuuuuuaaaaaaarintine, quarantine!”? You will do angry punk covers of classic rock staples as THE RO...

The cliché is “Rome wasn’t built in a day” but what that chestnut neglects to say is that Rome didn’t fall in just one day, either. At its height, it’d become so vast and all-encompassing that th...

June 07, 2020

june 9 in idea barrages

I want to show up at a party where I was supposed to bring snacks, claim that I am the snack and then sheepishly go out to the car and get the snacks when no one agrees with me. I still can’t...

June 07, 2020

june 8 in idea barrages

A great name for a punk band? Hell-Ron Ubbard. Give to the World Health Organization, saving lives, while Trump cuts off funds to life-saving organizations out of petty spite, calls for civi...

June 06, 2020

skipped beats in poetry

there was snow deep into May this year of twenty-twenty hindsightings sickness and death hung over all of our heads like white-out squalls and blinding ou...

June 05, 2020

june 7 in idea barrages

I just realized that Mr. T is powered by self-pity and the T stands for “Tomfoolery”. The mediocre hamburger chain Fuddruckers is trending on Twitter and all I can think of is Trent Reznor sc...

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