Entries 2,968
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june 4
I would love to see the Weinermobile towing the Plantersmobile and the idea is drivin’ me nuts. The shirt is the casing, we are the sausage. This is low-carb life. “Whatcha drinkin’ there? ...
june 2
I would love if sex toy stores had ads on teevee with, like, Crazy Eddie style promotions. “I DOUBLE-DONG DARE YOU TO GET A BETTER DEAL!” If the Insane Clown Posse really wanted to find out h...
may 31
Gotta ask ‘em all, Porque-mon! Lil Wayne implies the existence of the kaiju Giant Wayne, his best friend and protector. If you really need to yell something because you smashed your toe int...
may 29
Okay, PENNYWORTH exists, sure, but where’s the grim and gritty prequel about the butler on THE FRESH PRINCE? Like he was Mi5 and had so much blood on his hands, The Crown had to hide him on the...
may 27
It probably wouldn’t be that great of a cocktail taste-wise, but a “whiskey and cola” drink that’s Royal Crown and Crown Royal called “The Reflexive” would be fun as hell, conceptually. “Stea...
may 25
A circus game called “Whaucamole” where the players have to try and smash rising and falling avocados with mallets and if they score high enough, they win guacamole. You, as the operator, get b...
may 23
No, the WEIRDEST parody of all time would be of Fiona Apple’s “Criminal” that starts with the line “I’ve been a bad bad Terl / I’ve been reckless on a battlefield called Earth”. Domino rally ...
may 21
They’re just gonna keep trying to make Percy Jackson happen, aren’t they? “Until we have the rights to Harry Potter,” some executive says, briefly raising his head from the pile of cocaine, “we...
may 19
The more events you have a wall with a bunch of company logos that you can have a picture taken against, as if it’s an awards show red carpet, the less they’ll mean. Soon the stars will have th...
may 17
Maybe fundamentalists would be more comfortable with sex ed if he went by his full name, Sexual Edward. If you’re going to make a sitcom about how insane homeowner’s associations are, why not...
may 15
If Vanilla Ice had made Ice Ice Baby in 2023, it wouldn’t have been “tip to my waitress” it would’ve been “link to my socials”. Look into your heart, young Skywalker, you know it to be true. ...
may 13
A shirt with a drawing of a drill on it and the phrase “Ceci n’est pas une perceuse”. Honestly, Chatbots probably can’t make popular comedy worse than popular comedy is doing right now. IF PR...
may 11
The problem with wanting to be a tether between others is it means you’re tethered too. If you want to be a spider feeling all the web’s vibrations, it means you’re stuck on the web. It isn’t n...
may 9
When I came to realize there are people who use “funny” for radically different ideas, things started to make sense. Some folks call “funny” the feeling they get from having their worldview rei...
may 7
The trombone is nature’s slide whistle. What would be fun would be PUBLIC SCHOOL DETECTIVE, a P.I. who solves crimes on the strength of otherwise utterly useless knowledge we’re given in Amer...
may 5
All the Robins form a rock band and go on tour. Dracula shows up backstage after their Romanian show to congratulate them on their performance. “Ah, the children of the Knight,” he says, “what ...
may 3
You know what would be the beautifully stupidest Marvel - Disney mash-up, though? Spider-Man’s Carnage and Talespin’s Don Karnage. If you try to hide in plain sight by reading THE STRANGER, y...
may 1
My brain is singing a parody of “Do You Know The Muffin Man” about a shady muffler repair shop. Used to be, the easiest way to rile up someone into anime was to jokingly call it “japanimation...
ap29
Sometimes I wanna have a tiny shred of faith in the film industry, that they’ll eventually stop going with the 1st stupid idea that came to mind, but then I see that they turned the “M” in SCRE...
ap27
Found out there’s a band called “Inhaler”. If they toured with Weezer would they cancel out? Would they annihilate into pure energy? Try to convince someone that the new Tik Tok phrase for bu...
ap25
If only listening to John Nougat-Mallowmar was physically possible for me, without bleeding from my eyes, ears and a few other places, I could probably whip up a quality parody about My Little ...
ap23
It’s funny how the British monarchy works now, no longer directly powerful but a useful distraction from the myriad actual problems in the UK. They used to have all the bread, now they’re the d...
ap21
You won’t be able to put this construction-site simulator video game down, it’s absolutely riveting. If you’re a stripper in northern New York, consider the stage name “Wintry Mix”. For like ...
ap 19
Still don’t understand how 83% of youtube power couples are a good-looking-but-socioemotionally-stunted woman & a barely-closeted twink just along for the fame ride/maybe because he wants t...
apr 17
A parody of Madonna’s “Erotic” built around the line “Orthotic, Orthotic, Sound Footwear Is Healing Your Body”. LESS CORPORATE LADDER, MORE CORPORATE M.C. ESCHER 4TH-DIMENSIONAL STAIRCASE TO ...
Book Description
originally, I went to college to be a comedy writer
the urge to still generate short form ideas remains
I collect, once or twice a day, my one-liner jokes
and my germs of ideas that I litter on social media
into little collections I call “barrages”
and then I put them here
sometimes
