Entries 2,847
Page 1 of 114
sep 30
A song called “Last Easter” by a band called Sacrificial Wham. A parody of “Take Me Home, Country Roads” about Mad Max: Fury Road. A parody of “Up on Cripple Creek” about OnlyFans involving...
sept 28
In Soviet Russia, camp went to ERNEST. Everyone’s always getting pedantic or metaphysical about who we should call Frankenstein when the real truth is that Big Head Todd was the REAL monster ...
sept 26
A semi-autobiographical novel about being a burnt-out former Gifted and Talented late-Gen-Xer in the post COVID hellscape called “The Trauma Bums”. A creation bard who worked as a sideshow ba...
sept 24
When wrestling had Bobby “The Brain” Heenan and Jesse “The Body” Ventura, at best, at very best, I could’a been “The Limbic System”. If you’re mostly a martial character but you pick up a lit...
se 22
Santo Claus, the Santa for luchadores, is making a list. He’s double-checking if it’s true, though. He’s going to find out if you’re tecnico or rudo. If you have a blorbo that you don’t REALL...
se 20
It’s a competition show where you see who can make fun of short-term-thinking society-ruining profiteer vulture capitalists the best and it’s called SNARK TANK. If Nick Drake was a DUCKTALES ...
se 18
It’s not magical pesto if you don’t use real basilisk. If you’re a billionaire & you wanna watch Tolkien, you hire a bunch of height-challenged folks to act it out for you while being han...
sep 16
A burlesque-based exercise programme called “The Total Bawdy Workout”. Calling the influences of North and South America on Europe “The Columbian Exchange” is like if you got mugged in the mi...
sep 14
Why say “scissoring” when you could say “WAP battle”? Why say “I can’t go out, I have class, I’m trying to pick up Spanish as a second language” when you can say “I have hablagations”? I se...
sep 12
Build a loxodon barbarian in 5e and call it “Conan The Babarian”. Decades later I realized CROCODILE DUNDEE had a scene with a bidet in it but they missed the trick of the obvious line “B’det...
sep 10
If you think about it, the story of America being torn down and sold for scrap by next-financial-quarter short-term-thinking vulture capitalists is really just the story of executive dysfunctio...
sep 8
Grover’s “There’s A Monster At The End Of This Book” but it’s “There’s A Person Undermining You At The End Of This Book” and the last page has an aluminum foil mirror on it. I’m starting to t...
sept 6
Rob Zombie’s full birth name is actually Robert Zombert. I mean, I COULD do a whole album of parodies about Dune, yes I could. “How Bizarre” so easily become “Gom Jabbar”. “Gom Jab-BAR! Gom j...
sept 4
I like my coffee the way I like my shaming fake psychics: medium roast. Until we have perfected AI and robotics, every chemist is and will be an organic chemist. I hope the collective term ...
sept 2
A hipster band called “Ed MacMandalorian”. An RPG about inn management called “Bedrooms And Breakfasts”. Donuts festooned with gummi worms called “nightcrullers”. If you think about it, t...
aug 30
If you think about it, every school backpack is a textbook case. They’ll need a fully-licensed rain dancer, weather permitting. A head canon where Charlie Brown grows up to write under the ...
aug 28
There are worse band names to grab than “Bootie and The Hofish” at this point. Carport diem. Seize the parking space! I feel like the “Friday” movies and the “Friday the 13th” movies could ...
aug 26
The art of designing fast food to feel good in your hands is burgonomics. I definitely like to pretend that HP Lovecraft’s full name was Hit Points Lovecraft. The types of scrolls that are ...
aug 24
When your cleric focuses on healing, that’s the Life Domain. When your cleric focuses on weather, that’s the Tempest Domain. When your cleric focuses on punishing the corporate abuse of copyrig...
aug 22
Never been an easier place to kill someone than 2022 America. That’s a feature, not a bug. Long as we believe we can shoot out our problems instead of compromising & working together, greed...
aug 20
You know what’d be even worse than Boston Market? BARSTOW MARKET. Let’s ruin Taco Bell by spreading the idea that “Baja Blast” is a term for a sex act that can only occur on Spring Break. B...
aug 18
Hot dog eating contests cause gastro-intentional damage. I finally realized what Pete Davidson looks like. He looks like the guy you see getting arrested outside an Insane Clown Posse show fo...
aug 16
If people who love Japanese culture are “weeaboos” does that mean people into Ren faires are “theeaboos”? A home repair superstore with its own Insulation Installation Station where you can g...
aug 14
Woody Allen’s D&D alignment is Neurotic Evil. “Flash Gordon Schumway” is the peak name for a twee indie rock band, the kind of band that makes Belle & Sebastian look like Hank William...
aug 12
A cyborg dog called Bottweiler. Maybe you weren’t born for greatness. Maybe you were born to just help people. Maybe that’s a far better thing than being great. If you go unremembered by an...
Book Description
originally, I went to college to be a comedy writer
the urge to still generate short form ideas remains
I collect, once or twice a day, my one-liner jokes
and my germs of ideas that I litter on social media
into little collections I call “barrages”
and then I put them here
sometimes
