littlefallsmets ⋅ 43

I write words, I sometimes get to perform them out, sometimes I'm even paid. And I'm trying to get it right, get it right.

with enough repetition, your flaws become your style


Entries 4,655

Page 5 of 187

September 21, 2022

se 22 in idea barrages

Santo Claus, the Santa for luchadores, is making a list. He’s double-checking if it’s true, though. He’s going to find out if you’re tecnico or rudo. If you have a blorbo that you don’t REALL...

September 20, 2022

sometimes in poetry

sometimes you defecate and you just defecate you ate some food and what was left had to go it happens and you move on it’s just part of your day that’s just part of life you barely remember i...

September 19, 2022

se 20 in idea barrages

It’s a competition show where you see who can make fun of short-term-thinking society-ruining profiteer vulture capitalists the best and it’s called SNARK TANK. If Nick Drake was a DUCKTALES ...

September 18, 2022

se 18 in idea barrages

It’s not magical pesto if you don’t use real basilisk. If you’re a billionaire & you wanna watch Tolkien, you hire a bunch of height-challenged folks to act it out for you while being han...

We must’ve looked like idiots up there in the Thruway overpass, shadows cast against those long nights and the longer highway beneath us and we probably were. Indistinct shapes pumping arms at sp...

September 14, 2022

sep 16 in idea barrages

A burlesque-based exercise programme called “The Total Bawdy Workout”. Calling the influences of North and South America on Europe “The Columbian Exchange” is like if you got mugged in the mi...

September 14, 2022

sep 14 in idea barrages

Why say “scissoring” when you could say “WAP battle”? Why say “I can’t go out, I have class, I’m trying to pick up Spanish as a second language” when you can say “I have hablagations”? I se...

September 14, 2022

sep 12 in idea barrages

Build a loxodon barbarian in 5e and call it “Conan The Babarian”. Decades later I realized CROCODILE DUNDEE had a scene with a bidet in it but they missed the trick of the obvious line “B’det...

September 14, 2022

sep 10 in idea barrages

If you think about it, the story of America being torn down and sold for scrap by next-financial-quarter short-term-thinking vulture capitalists is really just the story of executive dysfunctio...

September 14, 2022

sep 8 in idea barrages

Grover’s “There’s A Monster At The End Of This Book” but it’s “There’s A Person Undermining You At The End Of This Book” and the last page has an aluminum foil mirror on it. I’m starting to t...

September 05, 2022

sept 6 in idea barrages

Rob Zombie’s full birth name is actually Robert Zombert. I mean, I COULD do a whole album of parodies about Dune, yes I could. “How Bizarre” so easily become “Gom Jabbar”. “Gom Jab-BAR! Gom j...

September 03, 2022

sept 4 in idea barrages

I like my coffee the way I like my shaming fake psychics: medium roast. Until we have perfected AI and robotics, every chemist is and will be an organic chemist. I hope the collective term ...

September 03, 2022

sept 2 in idea barrages

A hipster band called “Ed MacMandalorian”. An RPG about inn management called “Bedrooms And Breakfasts”. Donuts festooned with gummi worms called “nightcrullers”. If you think about it, t...

In the beginning, there was a light. A brilliant light. A hot searing light. An endless light. This light illuminated all, that all was everything. Everything was already there and that everythin...

August 30, 2022

an agnostic's prayer in poetry

wear me out, Lord give me that at least make this confusing life so exhausting that when it all comes to an end when I finally lay dying I will be so fucking tired I will be...

August 29, 2022

aug 30 in idea barrages

If you think about it, every school backpack is a textbook case. They’ll need a fully-licensed rain dancer, weather permitting. A head canon where Charlie Brown grows up to write under the ...

August 29, 2022

aug 28 in idea barrages

There are worse band names to grab than “Bootie and The Hofish” at this point. Carport diem. Seize the parking space! I feel like the “Friday” movies and the “Friday the 13th” movies could ...

August 29, 2022

aug 26 in idea barrages

The art of designing fast food to feel good in your hands is burgonomics. I definitely like to pretend that HP Lovecraft’s full name was Hit Points Lovecraft. The types of scrolls that are ...

August 24, 2022

aug 24 in idea barrages

When your cleric focuses on healing, that’s the Life Domain. When your cleric focuses on weather, that’s the Tempest Domain. When your cleric focuses on punishing the corporate abuse of copyrig...

I minored in religion at college, this much can be agreed on, it says so in Syracuse University’s archives. This is at least a fact. Not a seminarian thing, of course, world religions, comparativ...

August 23, 2022

aug 22 in idea barrages

Never been an easier place to kill someone than 2022 America. That’s a feature, not a bug. Long as we believe we can shoot out our problems instead of compromising & working together, greed...

August 20, 2022

aug 20 in idea barrages

You know what’d be even worse than Boston Market? BARSTOW MARKET. Let’s ruin Taco Bell by spreading the idea that “Baja Blast” is a term for a sex act that can only occur on Spring Break. B...

August 20, 2022

aug 18 in idea barrages

Hot dog eating contests cause gastro-intentional damage. I finally realized what Pete Davidson looks like. He looks like the guy you see getting arrested outside an Insane Clown Posse show fo...

August 20, 2022

aug 16 in idea barrages

If people who love Japanese culture are “weeaboos” does that mean people into Ren faires are “theeaboos”? A home repair superstore with its own Insulation Installation Station where you can g...

August 14, 2022

aug 14 in idea barrages

Woody Allen’s D&D alignment is Neurotic Evil. “Flash Gordon Schumway” is the peak name for a twee indie rock band, the kind of band that makes Belle & Sebastian look like Hank William...

Books 8

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