littlefallsmets ⋅ 43

I write words, I sometimes get to perform them out, sometimes I'm even paid. And I'm trying to get it right, get it right.

with enough repetition, your flaws become your style

@Cecconi140

Entries 4,738

Page 5 of 190

In a different life, and I mean in a very different life, the tale of his turn-around might have been inspirational, a small-but-touching arc from failure to redemption. One afternoon, he woke up...


January 11, 2023

ja 12 in idea barrages

In the GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY’s porn parody, was the Groot analogue a tree-lady with a great ass who could only say “I AM GLUTES”? If not, come on, just ask me for the best ideas and give me a...


January 09, 2023

jan 10 in idea barrages

Do perfume testers have competitions to see who is the best in the world? Do they have Smelling Bees? Before you eat that Christmas cookie, look down to it and whisper “You’re about to take a...


January 08, 2023

jan 8 in idea barrages

In hopes of recruiting more students, the veterinary college is holding an open horse. Michael Crichton’s long-anticipated thought-lost final novel “Science Did An Oopsie”. If Hannah Montan...


January 05, 2023

jan 6 in idea barrages

I wonder how much it would cost to get Eminem to rap the lines “My name’s Barney Rubble and I’m here to say / I love Fruity Pebbles in a major way!” Why call it a “filet o fish sandwich” when...


It wasn’t so much he woke up on the wrong side of the bed, we all do that time-to-time. It was which wrong side he awoke upon. He didn’t wake up on the right side or the left, he somehow woke up ...


January 03, 2023

j 4 in idea barrages

I think the way to offend the maximum amount of people at once would be to write a story about Jesus going to a 2,000 years ago wizarding school. There’s something disturbing in there for every...


January 01, 2023

j 2 in idea barrages

DECK THE HALLS as sung by Super Mario Brothers’ supporting anti-villain character Waluigi. we may all be merely the residue left behind after the creation of the poo from a certain point of ...


December 30, 2022

d 31 in idea barrages

For all the many sins of youtube, the worst is how they all say “Super Mario Bros” instead of “Super Mario Brothers”. “Bros” is one of the weirdest most awkward words in the language and it is ...


I cannot speculate as to whether Robert Johnson had a deal with The Devil. Those extraordinary successes and spectacular failures who die young certainly seem to have done as such but there’s a d...


December 28, 2022

d 29 in idea barrages

A movie about time-travelers trying to fix a bunch of problems over a long weekend called CAUSAL FRIDAY. ASMR where I say soothing things to help you relax but not, oh, being a flirty doctor ...


December 26, 2022

d 27 in idea barrages

You don’t gotta be angry all the time. You could also be sad! Heart-crushed soul-drained sad. That’s also a valid response to… all this. Switching it up between the two could do you some good. ...


December 24, 2022

jesus day barrage in idea barrages

All the amazing things you can do or be as a human, imagine being so dull and empty, you think that the definition of being a hero is “has a lot of money”. That’s what people hero-worship? The ...


December 22, 2022

d 23 in idea barrages

A speed-dating event that’s also a potluck dinner called CASSEROLE ENCOUNTERS. Here’s something I say to myself before I perform, sometimes. “My words don’t speak for me, I speak for my words...


The funny thing about Christmas is, even though it’s supposed to be joyous, its most popular stories are about regret. Whether you’re personally marking Christ’s birth or lamp oils, winter solsti...


December 20, 2022

d 21 in idea barrages

“Bitcoin for Dummies” is less a book title, more an awkwardly worded statement of fact. My favorite rap album about disaster prepping is, of course, “Tinderboxx (And The Ferrocerium Rod Below...


December 18, 2022

d 19 in idea barrages

I feel very protective of spoken-word-only open mics. Yes, poetry & music are intermingled & there’s nothing wrong with occasionally lapsing into song as a PART of your poem, as punctua...


on the first day of Christmas some twitch simps sent to me a portrait of Waluigi on the second day of Christmas some twitch simps sent to me two power gloves and a portrait of Waluigi on the th...


December 16, 2022

d 17 in idea barrages

I’m not sure if it’s the BBC-preferred pluralization but “Doctors Who” just FEELS right. “Harbor Freight - It’s Junk That Will Crumble To Dust In Three Uses… But You Get A Free Plastic Flashl...


Sure, Paul claimed they were simply having a wonderful Christmastime, but the facts just did not add up. I didn’t care he was a Beatle, that he was Sir Paul McCartney, that the man claiming this ...


December 14, 2022

d 15 in idea barrages

A sequel to “I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus” called “Santa Claus is Going to Town”. Why call it “lamaze classes” when you could call it “push notifications “? The weirdest Ben and Jerry’s ...


December 12, 2022

d 13 in idea barrages

The fact that there isn’t a punk band in Toronto called “Oi Canada” is yet another reason why I should be installed as World’s Namer Of Things. Hear me out: an amusement park built around an ...


December 10, 2022

d 11 in idea barrages

If someone is eating a sundae on Twitch and you send them money to do it, even though they don’t know you in any meaningful way, that right there is an ice cream para-social. BOSOM BUDDIES wa...


December 08, 2022

d 9 in idea barrages

Put Christmas bows on each side of your headphones. Congratulations! You now have Bows Headphones. What was Eminem thinking, rapping about spaghetti? Who did he think he was, Def Boyardee? ...


December 06, 2022

d 7 in idea barrages

A movie where you unmask a wrestler and the mask attaches to your face, forcing you uncontrollably into the life of a luchador called THE SANTOS CLAUSE. Look, this is probably a moment where ...


Books 9


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