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1.) And then there is of course Slanderman who terrorizes the internet by intentionally confusing libel and slander, driving word sticklers up a goddamn wall.
2.) Am I singing a version of Anthra...
the remainder, indivisible
that which gets left behind
because it didn’t know how to divide
Solomon’s kids left out to writhe
exposed to wolves and snow and rain
as none would deign to forsake...
her blazing copper shine oxidized
rusted into a sea-green over time
slowly succumbed to the very air
liberty reacting to the world around it
to the people who will always come along
1.) Fire departments are another piece of evidence that mixed-model economics works, that necessary services like fire, roads, schools, police, utilities, military & medicine need to be publi...
1.) I hate that risotto balls are called “Arancini” because “risotto balls” would be a great insult if only the phrase were more popular.
2.) Whenever possible, intentionally misspell “Bulgaria” ...
1.) “I’m not saying I’m a genius or that I have all the answers,” said the wise but humble veteran proctologist, “but I can tell you that in my day I’ve seen some shit.”
2.) Remember: the most an...
1.) Your nerdy BBQ sauce will be called Magic The Slathering.
2.) We’re not saying we’re SURPRISED its showing in Northern NY in November, we’re just starting that it is terrible that it is, whic...
1.) Eventually The Thing’s marriage fell apart, eventually she started taking him for granite.
2.) He doesn’t like being called a “Brony” he prefers to say he’s “looking for a stable relationship...
Just about any Denny’s, there’s generally a claw machine game somewhere near the front of the house. You know, you put in a quarter, these days as much as a dollar and get twenty seconds to posit...
1.) Current song I sing to Ollie the dog: a version of Eleanor Rigby called “Oliver Fatty”.
2.) Distance from information on the instant is a rare and precious commodity these days.
3.) Call you...
they say the devil’s at the crossroads
they say that God will stop at city’s edge
they say the headless horseman stops after the bridge
that all the code is hidden in the the crosswords
there is no more reinvention now
no more evolution or rebirth now
social media has seen to that
whoever you were at twelve is
who you’re stuck with being
the electric receipts of
in mourning, time loses meaning
or at least time’s passage does
holidays become mere changes in
the front window’s decorations
seasons become mere changes in
the patterns of the ...
1.) Low-carb “pizza” snack: pepperoni sticks, string cheese, low-sodium V8. This is my life now.
2.) We’ve whittled down the American dream to “not dying homeless”. It’s a hell of a thing and it ...
1.) Low-Carb Lifestyle Lifehack: frizzled onions don’t just have to go on green bean cassarole. Eat ‘em like chips, if you’re desperate enough!
2.) Tomorrow: the last day of calls and texts by po...
1.) One of the secret ingredients in Gandalf’s pipe-weed blend is elvish parsley.
2.) People these days will get all hot and bothered over sexy Draculas or sexy Wolfmen but almost no one will put...
1.) Freudy Krueger… he’ll analyze your dreams TO DEATH.
2.) I’m just a somewhat fat guy, looking into a mirror and singing “GET UP, c’mon GET DOWN WITH MY THICKNESS, GET UP c’mon GET DOWN WITH MY...
Mark Twain once said “if you don’t like the weather in New England, just wait a few minutes” or maybe he didn’t. Maybe someone said it first but because he was famous it was remembered as his alo...
I have no way
with which to describe
how much I’d rather be
breathing city air
and feeling alive
telling tales of back here
while in Astoria
make like William Outerboroughs...
1.) Why billionaires waste their fortunes on political grudges instead of, like, paying to have the Dudley Moore film ARTHUR remade with the characters from the PBS kids show ARTHUR is beyond me....
1.) I wonder how many people tried smoking actual bath salts when they heard of drugs colloquially called “bath salts” and I wonder how it worked out for them.
2.) Sometimes I think Ollie doesn’t...
1.) In mourning, time loses meaning or at least its passage does. Holidays become mere changes in the decoration, seasons become mere changes in the weather. Mourning is an alternately sorrowful ...
the cities rose and fell as did the seas
the only constant being all the people
they all had different languages
they all had different faiths
they all had different technologies
if you think this life is about
or being in charge
or being the best
or having power
holy Christ, are you going to be disappointed
it’s important to process Halloween
as a burlesque of death’s power
as a fool’s day against the end
our only small power at all
in the face of this oblivion
is the solace of lau...