Entries 5,500

Page 5 of 220

All their drug ultimately did was cut people off from experiencing their dreams. Living them out or remembering them. It couldn’t prevent dreams entirely, of course. Dreams are the mind trying t...

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A parody of Brecht’s “Alabama Song” about the old school Thruway stops. “Well, show me the way to the Roy’s Fixins Bar / NO, DON’T ASK WHY / NO, DON’T ASK WHY”. You are to cover all the ...

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Crashing Bedrock’s economy through surreptitious clam farming. An ad for getting rid of ads is the most American thing ever created. MATZO MATZO MAN, I WANT TO BE A MATZO MAN Whe...

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The only correct answer for Tarantino’s final film is “Last Action Hero Remake”. A Ren and Stimpy / My Chemical Romance mash-up called “Welcome to the Yak Parade” ft. Weird Al’s “Weasel ...

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“The problem with getting old,” she told the boy, “is it’s the only way to really know anything.” Which sounds deep and timeless in a cliched fashion, until you have the context that the woman ...

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If you warm up left-over jalapeno poppers the next day, that’s just T.G.I. Saturdays, baby. I like to think that the guy who invented Pizza Hut, Bill Hut, had a sports car he called The ...

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The ability to tell when someone’s into anyone other than you is not the most useful superpower, but it’s a good one for the back of the trading card. “Walkin’ Into Spiderwebs” by Gwen S...

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Why say “laser tattoo removal” when you can say “deconstructive surgery”? A Pennsylvania themed fashion line, just so you can get around to “The Gettysburg, A Dress”. We spend life l...

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Why say “counterfeit” when you can say “funmarked bills”? a robot named Shirley Template why say “anime masturbation injury” when you can say “yaoi owie”? A mathematical tangent ...

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There’ve been thousands of plagues in recorded human history. Tens of thousands we can never know about because there wasn’t writing yet, or their texts couldn’t survive the ravages of ages, or ...

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Replace that angry British chef with Donald Duck, call it THE MALLARD REACTION. Pee Wee Herman and He-Man mashed together into Her-Man. A romantic arc for your Open Hand monk charact...

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A mash-up of The Waterboys “Fisherman’s Blues” and Lord Huron “Mine Forever” could be in the trailer for every indie film until the end of time. A Fiona Apple parody about people going s...

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A ninja flick about a drunken-boxing-style fighter who has switched to hard seltzer for his health called FIST OF THE WHITE CLAW. There’s a way to mash up DUCK TALES and CALL ME AL but I...

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But the best mash-up of all, I realized, would be of Dolly Patron’s “9 to 5” and Moby’s “Run On”. If I ever lose a limb to The Sugar, the stampy-stamp of my wooden peg will be my Carbin’...

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If you want to get a doctorate in culinary school, you’ll have to defend your dessertation. Post-TARDIS Stress Dalek. It yells “DISSOCIATE! DISSOCIATE!” Is there anything less creati...

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You can’t spell “palimpsest” without “im”. Today, I was either dressed as “Johnny Cash on casual day” or “a beatnik with a day-job” or “a priest on incognito sabbatical”, depending on wh...

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There is a great joke, somewhere, in the line “Jojo Siwa, Your Wife Is Calling” but the Venn Diagram between knowing mid-Eighties Richard Pryor films and knowing 2010s internet celebrity cul...

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The male equivalent of The Flying Nun is The Air Friar. When I see that noseless mutant from the FALLOUT series, all I can think is “NYEH HEH HEH, COWBOY SKELETOR!” A doomsday preppe...

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Is there any more pre-fab a cultural force than reality television? It doesn’t get half the ratings scripted television does, but it’s 20 times cheaper as it cuts out the writers and actors’...

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if Gary Numan and Gary Oldman met, what would happen? my main two guesses would be that either they would annihilate into pure energy or would produce a son named Gary Man An anagram for...

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When the writing’s on the wall, the writing’s on the wall. The first time I saw a website with an advertisement in a paper magazine, I knew that industry was on its slow crawl out. That’s when y...

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I feel like the only thing worse than watching Coachella on YouTube would be actually attending Coachella in 120 degree heat with 15,000 trust-fund influencers sweatily TikToking each others...

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Why say “wedding rehearsal dinner” when you can say “fiance feast”? His return from the grave as a police cyborg gave him a maniac passion to live life to its fullest with this second ch...

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Sometimes you just gotta psych yourself up for an insulin shot by chanting “Needlejuice, Needlejuice, NEEDLEJUICE!” We got skin-divers, we go frogmen, we got scuba dudes, we have diverse...

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You raised us, constantly telling us how we were destined for greatness and the best at everything, and now you say we got a generational praise kink. Like, yeah, you did that to us, yes. ...

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