by littlefallsmets

Entries 1,298

Page 1 of 52

November 08, 2023

never quite escaping

i find myself perpetually stalked by this doughy gruesome monster following me everywhere day and night all hours and all seasons but he is nothing if not a veritably wily grotesque I’...

October 29, 2023

oct 30

A parody of LL Cool J’s “Mama Said Knock You Out” about Conan the Barbarian starting with the line “Don’t call it a Crom back / I’ve no tongue for prayers”. Sometimes the ancient gods would h...

October 02, 2023

somebody once

now that the guy from Smashmouth has sadly shuffled this mortal coil I wonder who gets custody of Guy Fieri? is it Nickelback? do you think that it’s Nickelback? Scott Cr...

September 29, 2023

rubbing it in

Is there any grosser name for a cosmetic than “body butter”? It’s basically one shade less gross than “foot sauce”. QVC will be hawking “skin juice” any day now. Bath and Body Works selli...

September 28, 2023

down to our last

we don’t need anymore gods or goddesses of war or violence or victory those things are done they’re out of style they’ve ruined too much of this place we don’t need gods of comm...

September 27, 2023

submitted for your approval

sometimes I wonder if someone maybe myself maybe someone else some tail-end Generation X-er if one of us were granted a wish we didn’t know it but we got a wish and not knowing the power we he...

September 26, 2023

electric dreams

every science-fiction thing seems to push the idea that we need to be afraid of the robots taking over terminator movies - robots taking over matrix movies - robots taking over...

September 23, 2023

unlike a virgin

I wonder if Madonna manages to keep up her legendarily-terrible fake British accent even in the middle of coitus “oh, oh, call me Mummy, call me your Mummy, guv’nah!” “yes, ye...

September 19, 2023

jefferson hill and back

I walk a little blind dog for about a block and a half the one way then the same back and he pisses just about every five yards or so he marks his territory he doesn’t know that the...

September 15, 2023

way way up there

I just don’t understand why those two random guys were so goddamn excited about seeing a bird or a plane Superman, sure, I get that dude flying around in tights but “Look! Up ...

September 12, 2023

a new idea for a job

maybe I should invent a job called “impersonal trainer” where you just yell into crowds or into a camera: HEY, YOU SHOULD EXERCISE I DON’T KNOW WHICH MUSCLES OR WH...

September 11, 2023

the long waltz

when we arrived at this masquerade we couldn’t just leave someone already paid over time, we learned to dance our lives away to someone else’s beat by the ti...

I’m sorry, Mister Williams Junior I am indeed not ready for some football I am in no shape for any sort of Monday night party It has been a really long day of work and Tomorro...

August 31, 2023

everything I could never be

I’m not a provider she was right her stepford montauk mcmansion mother was right I am not a provider I was never a provider I will never be a provider and not j...

Irene, good night Irene, good night Good night, Irene Good night, Irene I’ll see you in my dreams I’d always kind of thought that Herkimer’s Pizza-Hut would manage to survive the heat-de...

August 18, 2023

eight-nine time

ancient troubadours rehearse in a tuneless droning verse of loves fucked up in youth patrons lost for told truth and the soothing thought for some that a death will eventually come ...

July 26, 2023

haiku with caramel

this cracker-jack love while sweet clouds may fade with time the true prize endures

July 23, 2023


if only you would pull me through that little screen I’d be your a-ha

July 07, 2023

shower haiku

approximation in words, equivocation in action, a pity

July 07, 2023

parried moppings

supertragic expeditious funky halitosis even though the smell of it can lead to holy gnosis building up in weeping nodes of psychic scoliosis supertragic expeditious funky halitosis

July 07, 2023


i wonder if you dream of me, as I dream of you, in the summer

July 03, 2023

elegy for the guilty

those cops just threw him in the river the rocks were what bashed out his brain and you can’t press a charge on a river that would be wholesale insane they’re all just ...

June 26, 2023


silence is golden and I’m goddamned near broke silence is golden it’s soft and it’s rarer than hen’s teeth in a vegan restaurant it’s precious and lusted after hoarded and often stolen when no...

June 15, 2023

the plan

you have to save everyone. if you can’t save everyone, save as many as you can. if you can’t save anyone, save yourself for later. if you can’t save yourself, at least save ...

June 10, 2023

ludwig von drake

all you gotta do is change your name to be a pop star or a rock star or a rap star all you gotta do is paint your face like someone else hide the fact you were born super rich or claim yo...

Book Description

these are first-drafts of my newer poems.
some of them will be great, some will be awful.
most will be okay.