littlefallsmets ⋅ 42

I write words, I sometimes get to perform them out, sometimes I'm even paid. And I'm trying to get it right, get it right.

with enough repetition, your flaws become your style


Entries 4,270

Page 3 of 171

August 08, 2021

aug 10 in idea barrages

Watching the stands at Citi during the New York Mets game tonight, I remember why I am so comfortable in baseball stands and at comic-cons: both locations make me feel thinner and more in-shape...

August 08, 2021

aug 9 in idea barrages

A painting of a Craftsman cordless drill with the caption: “This Is Not A Drill”. The painting will be called “The Treachery of Advertising”. An Alanis Morissette starring horror movie YOU OU...

If we are lucky, very lucky, this life will have been as if it were a trip to some grand amusement park when we were children, so well-themed and so immersive we could have all sworn that it was ...

August 05, 2021

aug 8 in idea barrages

Why say “corrupt petrol-state” when you can say “fuel economy”? Why say “Pizza Meal-Ready-to-Eat” when you can say “Prepperoni Pizza”? Nostalgia fandom is fighting the same war raging thru ...

August 05, 2021

aug 7 in idea barrages

If they make a hip-hop musical about Martin Van Buren as a sequel to HAMILTON, we already have the main theme. MARTIIIIIIN, MARTIIIIIIN, HOW Y’ALL BEEN. It’ll be great. We are locked in. Had ...

August 05, 2021

aug 6 in idea barrages

Ollie is relaxing on a cool spot of the hardwood and I sing to him “LET THE DOGGIE SIT THE FLOOR, LET THE DOGGIE SIT THE FLOOR, LET THE DOGGIE SIT THE FLOOR”. No, IDEAS have meaning. Words ar...

August 03, 2021

aug 5 in idea barrages

When you need to write two frat boys as secondary villains in a comedy, I implore you to name them “Marshall Bennington the Third” and “Chester Matthers the Fourth”. This is important. It reall...

August 03, 2021

aug 4 in idea barrages

It calls forth an angry spirit that forces you to not skip leg day. It is The Master of Thighs by Suzanne Summoner. Sequel to HOME ALONE where The Snowshovel Slasher, a serial killer of negle...

“Ultimately, people only want stories if they can convince themselves they’re real,” the yeti said, as he set his coffee back on the saucer, “at least plausibly real. My people, yours, all people...

August 03, 2021

aug 3 in idea barrages

Too many people believe that freedom means “freedom from empathy” when everyone being freed from empathy means, pretty quickly, nearly everyone has no freedom at all. We could just as easily ...

July 30, 2021

aug 2 in idea barrages

There weren’t enough GROUND CONTROL TO MAJOR DOUCHE jokes when the billionaires pretended to be astronauts because no human needs or deserves that much money in 50 lifetimes. Let’s do better ne...

July 30, 2021

aug 1 in idea barrages

No, Mr. Drowning Pool, there’s indeed something wrong with you. You are in Drowning Pool, that is indeed wrong. I just wonder: are you in Drowning Pool because there’s something wrong with you ...

July 30, 2021

july 31 in idea barrages

If you think about it, a completely valid alternate title for Donnie Darko would be “Echo And The Bunnymen”. A parody of that Shawn Mullins song “Lullabye” about the Showbiz Pizza Bear. “Ever...

July 29, 2021

station break in poetry

the revolution will be advertised they’ll sell bubble gums cards just like in the Gulf Wars not even after the fact as people are dying howling in the streets there...

July 27, 2021

july 30 in idea barrages

A strident screed about Italian cuisine is a manipesto. So did the Muadib show up in Space Jam and make it SPICE JAM or… If you morph your hands into bird talons and rip his genitals off be...

July 27, 2021

july 29 in idea barrages

Jimmy Buffet’s arraignment of “O Fortuna” called “Carmina Bahamas”. Closed-casket for the peering-impaired. Make a bike out of copy paper and call it a “stationery bicycle”. The only thin...

July 27, 2021

july 28 in idea barrages

“Once You Pop, You Don’t Stop” and “You Can’t Eat Just One” are both just a hair away from the slogan “YOU WILL BECOME PHYSICALLY ADDICTED TO THESE CHIPS”. GIMME THE BEANS, BOYS, TO FILL THIS...

“I am what I am and that’s all what I am,” the old sailor muttered, half to himself, half to no one, “and I guess what I am is tired. Just tired.” He still clenched that corn cob pipe between his...

July 24, 2021

july 27 in idea barrages

A Japanese video game about childrens’ dances called HOKEY POKEY PANIC. Does Optimus Prime poop from his semi colon? Sometimes, you just want to wear a shirt with the word SANDWICH on it, i...

July 24, 2021

july 26 in idea barrages

Cross-stitch is some hard Emmanuel labor. As we are around 80% water, occasionally we must drink something that’s 80% alcohol, to balance it out, you know, from time to time. A woodworking ...

July 24, 2021

july 25 in idea barrages

“Ten billion,” he whispered. “Thanks,” she replied, “that means a lot to me.” The Terminator statue at the El Rancho Drive-In looks almost exactly like Lou Reed. It’s amazing. Loki, riding ...

July 21, 2021

july 24 in idea barrages

In Soviet Russia, dragons imagine YOU! I can’t believe that the fragility of American masculinity hasn’t tried to re-brand male pedicures as “getting your bronails done”. The heart of a neu...

July 21, 2021

july 23 in idea barrages

Slugging percentage is pretty, it’s flashy, have a fun weekend with it but it’ll eventually ghost you, let you down. On-base percentage, man, if it consistently singles and walks, you put a rin...

July 21, 2021

july 22 in idea barrages

A Lou Reed themed breakfast cereal called Metal Machine Mueslix. If the machine we’re supposed to rage against is Machine Gun Kelly, all the better. The first rule of Oak Club is orc hits y...

July 18, 2021

july 21 in idea barrages

…HI, I’m on Wings, WHAT, I’m on Wings, WHO, I’m on Wings, wicka-wick, TIM DALY… A start-up website for potato recipes: SPUDIFY. Like a great airship felled by the awful summer weather, I sc...

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