littlefallsmets ⋅ 46 ⋅
I write words, I sometimes get to perform them out, sometimes I'm even paid. And I'm trying to get it right, get it right.
with enough repetition, your flaws become your style
Entries 5,500
Page 3 of 220
a9 in idea barrages
It’s like The Yule Log except with Tool songs instead of Christmas carols. The Tool Log. “Don’t cry for me, Pasadena, the truth is you’re a freeway” The Pagliacci joke except the doc...
a7 in idea barrages
A parody of Frank Zappa’s “A Little Green Rosetta” about Frank Frazetta. I typed “lofi beats” as “lofi bears” and, somehow, yes, there is a youtube channel about lofi music hosted by car...
a5 in idea barrages
I miss when characters had weird imaginary phrases to replace their curses. Like “Great Rao!” or “Great Caesar’s Ghost!” or whatever. I’d love to see a cowboy who replaced all his swears and...
a3 in idea barrages
If you’re tasked with an anti-opium ad campaign, you can have the slogan “JUST SAY NOPEIUM!” for free. Because that’s the thing. They WEREN’T chocolate-chip cookies. They were “Chocolaty...
prompt: title, title: natural selections in misc. flash fiction
Maybe we need to re-evaluate what stories are worth telling, need telling? Deserve telling. The classics make six million not having enough to eat a background statistic, but one wealthy man los...
a1 in idea barrages
Olive Garden should lean into their reputation and unveil a mascot named Vom Deluise. “No plan survives contact with the enemy.” Dour. Violent. Fatalistic. “No dream survives contact wit...
m30 in idea barrages
Why say “space janitor” when you can say “vacuum cleaner”? Violence never really fixes a problem. Maybe it kicks a can down the road, for violence to crop up again. Maybe it turns you in...
m28 in idea barrages
Why say you’re a “circuit rider” when you could say you’re “giving out preach-arounds”? “Hozier” just sounds like the fancy Quebec way to say “Hoser”. Like “ooh, Molson XXX instead of ...
prompt: follow, title: everything you want in misc. flash fiction
“The Jungle” was to be Upton Sinclair’s masterwork. He spent six weeks working undercover in the deep muck and horrors of early twentieth-century Chicago meat-packing plants to research it. Aw...
m26 in idea barrages
If that’s what the food is like in GREAT Britain, imagine how bland it must be in plain old REGULAR Britain. I’m like that three-eyed fish in the Simpsons. I’m a really STRANGE catch, bu...
m24 in idea barrages
My best trait? I never relinquished my child-like over-active imagination. My most annoying trait? I never relinquished my child-like over-active imagination. “It’s Ms. Jackson, if you’r...
m22 in idea barrages
The Bagel Bites jingle as a slow mournful bluegrass dirge. “Pizza… in the… morning. Pizza in… the evening. Pizza.... at supper… time. When pizza is on a bagel.... you can have… pizza… anytim...
m20 in idea barrages
At wizard libraries, they don’t have Summer Reading Challenges. They do have Summoner Reading Challenges but, most of the time, the prizes just end up burning down a peasant town. An ad ...
prompt: draw, title: the ease of being green in misc. flash fiction
The princess was no idiot. She understood a woman in her position was not going to be marrying for love. Royals married for power, for political alliance, for expedience. Her parents were bound ...
m18 in idea barrages
Standing room tickets at concerts only exist as part of a conspiracy between Ticketmaster and Big Lower Back Surgery. French cows be thanking you all “mooey bien”. One of the highest...
m16 in idea barrages
The Stations of the Crossfit! Blaspheme your way to fitness! I wonder if a youth pastor has tried connecting with The Youth by saying “Now, Jesus was a very charismatic speaker… which ma...
m14 in idea barrages
Our shared humanity should supersede every other sub-identification, real or imagined. We should see every other person as exactly us, under the meaningless layers. It doesn’t, though, it ha...
prompt: stitch, title: a man of wealth and taste in misc. flash fiction
He did his best thinking while stitching up his employer’s wounds, which he did far more often than most house staff do, but that tends to happen when the employer tends to run about beating dow...
m12 in idea barrages
Why say “macaroni butter” when you could say “elbow grease”? If there’s a God & an afterlife anything like near-Eastern monotheism suggests, I guarantee you when you proclaim your re...
Things didn’t get more dangerous for any inevitable reason. They got more dangerous as it was profitable to pretend things were more dangerous then the paranoia from the marketing made it re...
m8 in idea barrages
Ultimately, the timing of their heights wasn’t quite enough in tune to get us around to “Fiona Snapple” and that’s a shame. Next time someone is trying to get dates by showing himself in...
m6 in idea barrages
I wonder if at any point in his career, someone told Ted DiBiase “hey, if you’re playing a bad guy, you should call yourself Ted Deviousi instead, that’s a good wrestling name”. At the r...
prompt: middle, title: wisdom or something like it in misc. flash fiction
I was born with an odd number of wisdom teeth, literally-and-figuratively odd. Three. I’ve been told that’s rather rare, that most people are born with two or four wisdom teeth, sometimes none a...
m4 in idea barrages
I have like ten ideas about the Ben Folds Five album cut “Jackson Cannery” but obscurity is no aid to comedy. A parody about a lich and it’s “and I’ve got my phylactery”? Mash it up with Jam...
m2 in idea barrages
Oh no! The only frozen treat the truck sells is vegan tofutti pops! Goddamn the Good Humourless Man! You will cover Rush songs in a death metal style as TOM SLAYER. Did we ever get a...
