littlefallsmets ⋅ 43
I write words, I sometimes get to perform them out, sometimes I'm even paid. And I'm trying to get it right, get it right.
with enough repetition, your flaws become your style
Entries 4,735
Page 3 of 190
mar 23 in idea barrages
Some people hold grudges so long, they’re practically dry-aged, that’s how old the beef is. I have now realized that the optimal parody of Bob Dylan’s “Mississippi” would be about the Superma...
prompt: dolly, title: negotiating for the final cut in misc. flash fiction
“I’ve done your hair and makeup for a decade,” her tone wavered between bemusement and fear, “I would’ve noticed by now if you were a vampire.” “Because of the mirrors thing?” the rail-thin palli...
mar 21 in idea barrages
A joke one of my dreams last night wrote -“At my school, we didn’t have Proms or Homecoming Dances, but we did have something similar we call Ligmas.” “Ligmas?” “You know, Ligma Balls.” “…sir, ...
mar 19 in idea barrages
Before his fall to the dark side, was Anakin Skywalker “The Battle Himbo of the Republic”? It’s easy. The subtitle of the second film in every series should legally be ELECTRIC BOOGALOO, the ...
prompt: rank, title: all the king's horses in misc. flash fiction
He wasn’t always like this. He’d been a middle-class careerist, a suburban dad and husband. The manicured lawn, picket fence, two-car garage, the whole schmear. The good life. He wasn’t rich or p...
mar 15 in idea barrages
Don’t you worry about me staying hydrated. Coffee is, like, 99% water. He could be glam in a classy Bowie way or glam in a trashy RATT kinda way. He was glambidextrous. I hope in the deep l...
mar 13 in idea barrages
“Federal Breast Inspector” and “Certified Nursing Assistant” are pretty much the same thing from a… certain linguistic point of view. I refuse to believe any time was cut from Avatar 2. You d...
mar 11 in idea barrages
Cocoa Puffs, part of a mentally imbalanced breakfast! “As If Editorial Consultants: Service with a Simile!” A goth Marilyn Monroe burlesque dance / drag act / parody song called “Demons Are...
prompt: proof, title: when words fail in misc. flash fiction
Sarah and Rachel studied the rum cake together, fresh off its third overnight soak in a bath of boozed-up sauce. “Well,” Sarah asked, “do you think we did it right?” “We’ve baked a lot of cakes t...
mar 9 in idea barrages
I’ve come to the realization Reagan defunded the American mental health system, closing most in-patient mental health facilities, not to save money but rather to boost voting numbers for his po...
mar 7 in idea barrages
If you use a clay kiln to bake your rum cake into a flat-bread, that’s naan-alcoholic. All you really need to fuel a starship is to go into a drug store, buy a bunch of antioxidants and oxida...
mar 5 in idea barrages
A workplace sitcom about a funeral home called MOURNING PEOPLE. A movie about a serial killer who beats people to death with a weighted purse called ACCESSORY TO MURDER. “Are you getting ov...
mar 3 in idea barrages
Considering there are two classic good-bad movies where Santa battles the Devil and Martians, separately, it implies a shared universe where a movie about the Martians battling the denizens of ...
prompt: miss, title: extra innings in misc. flash fiction
“I did it on purpose,” an old man in a rumpled windbreaker told a much younger man with a tape recorder and a notebook, in the back booth of Mudville’s Lazy Lunch Cafe, “I threw the damned game. ...
mar 1 in idea barrages
But what’d be even more terrifying than the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse would be the Four Horsegirls of the Apocalypse. Did we ever get a Ghostbusters / Pac-Man crossover? There’s a lot o...
feb 27 in idea barrages
The problem isn’t telling rich morons like Trump or Musk what they want to hear so you can take their money. They morally deserve to be scammed! The problem is all the rubes who will believe th...
feb 25 in idea barrages
SIMPLY / HAVING / A PROBLEM WITH ALL THESE MIMES / SIMPLY / HAVING / A PROBLEM WITH ALL THESE MIMES It’s a cross between “Hooters” and “Chili’s” and it’s called “Fapplebees”. How did they n...
prompt: train, title: still counting the dead in misc. flash fiction
Breaking news tonight, regarding the tragic train derailment in northern California, where they are still counting the dead: confirmation of the main suspect’s identity in the disaster that spewe...
feb 23 in idea barrages
If we really want to go into space, have we considered smashing antipasto and pasto together and harnessing the energy of their mutual annihilation? If you’re hired to run a snowplow in the p...
feb 21 in idea barrages
Must be crazy to be the leftovers after a big delicious meal. It must be like The Rapture but for food. Dating a heating-and-cooling mechanic comes with fridge benefits. The Christmas song ...
feb 19 in idea barrages
I still like to believe that “The Babysitters Club” was named not after the protagonists but rather the cudgel they shared to bludgeon particularly unruly children into slumber. Did the alt-r...
feb 17 in idea barrages
A fusion of Gallagher and Jim Gaffigan, “Gaffigher”, who ends every show by smashing a bunch of Hot Pockets. The people at Hasbro are a bunch of Trouble makers. Why call it a “dairy” when y...
prompt: twist, title: one-way only in misc. flash fiction
The problem with time-travel is not that it’s impossible. It’s certainly difficult, sure, but far from impossible. Throughout your entire history so far, a few dozen human beings have managed it ...
feb 15 in idea barrages
Why call it “analingus” when you could call it “taint and sip”? And America can stop pretending to care about soccer for another four years. I would want to say “Work to be kind but have fu...
feb 13 in idea barrages
In North Dakota, Super Mario Brothers 2 was originally called Okie-Dokie Panic. The greatest name for a punk rock band is, of course, JON ARBUCKLE’S FAT PUSSY. A parody of Paul Simon’s Koda...
