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They’ve had so many tie-ins at McDonalds over the years but we’ve never gotten the “Egg McMuppet” and that’s just a shame. The Sausage Egg McMuppet could be MADE out of the pig woman! No...

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So, do you want your good news or bad news first? Of course, you’ll want the good news first. You always want the good news first. You always think that the good news will give you paths toward ...

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Wendy’s had the lock on “eating barely-acceptable chili in a solarium” market and they just threw it away. When you have a segment cornered, you gotta hold onto it for dear life, but no. The...

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There is something deeply unnerving about the idea of being treated in a hospital named after a chain of casinos. Like, you’re just cosmically asking for it. If you look north and sudden...

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well I’d rather be ugly than tired and I’d rather be smart than be rich and I’d rather just scrape by while having some fun than be some old billionaire’s bitch well I’d rather be ugly tha...

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If you want to be accepted as a tree hugger, you need to immerse yourself in poplar culture. If Kenny Loggins last word aren’t “im.. all right… don’t nobody… worry bout me…” he will have...

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I’ve been trying to grow my fingernails out again, for what feels like the ten-thousandth time in my forty-something decades on this rock, and I’m certain that I’m going to fail once again but I...

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One-hundred years of Disney, built on the exploitation of the business unsaavy Ub Iwerks, who did most of the work while Walt took the money and the credit. If Steamboat Willie goes back to ...

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No orgy’s feast is complete without at least one braisin’ strumpet. A Dire Straits parody about Bart Simpson, David and Dennis the Menace called “Sultans of Sling”. A card game of ta...

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Imprisoned for his many serious crimes, Paul Blart tries to escape his prison by evading the warden Paul Rudd, who turns out to act for the money but his real passion is prison wardening and...

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Batman can create fresh soup with a single word via the power of the butlerguy effect. A soundbath but only of Goofy’s sub-linguistic utterances. No words but lots of Goofy’s sounds. ...

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I mean, one good thing we can say about the changing of years is that every passing year involves less checks written with the wrong year because personal checks are slowly disappearing. ...

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In Emo Mario Brothers, Mario jumps on Gloombas. The merger of the XFL and USFL needs to go into anti-trust court as they are creating a monopoly on “names for football teams that sound l...

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Bad boys, good guys, I’m the slightly-mischievous man. If I’m quiet, I’m either actually comfortable or I’m dead. If you showed someone from before COVID all the pictures on social ...

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A marijuana product review show called “Highly Recommended”. In hell, the only thing you can eat is Tarnation Instant Breakfast. A firework that shoots noodles cooked by the flames c...

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It is weird to think of, but there must have been some first person to make a pickle, even if there were many “inventions” of them in different cultures. It feels like they always existed...

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I’ve written before on the topic of my favorite curse word, ‘goddamned’. The way that its treated as a milder curse, a PG-13 cuss, yet is a way of saying ‘I want the Thing in charge of every-thi...

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The life of a cattle neuterer is difficult. It’s hard living on a fixed income. “You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take” is true but “You humiliate yourself on 100% of the shots you m...

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If you replaced every “Forget About It” in the Matchbox 20 song “Smooth” with a bad Mafia stereotype “FUGGEDABOWDIT”, there would finally be one interesting thing about the Matchbox 20 song ...

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A Beatles parody about dang ol’ Scantron standardized tests involving the lines “Letter B, Letter B, Letter B, Letter B, At least guess an answer, Letter B”. A new Marvel character with ...

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“Jeannie’s Dream Motel” hadn’t always been called that. Who knew how long it’d been there, on a lonely country road through farmlands between Richfield Springs and West Winfield, but she’d no do...

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It’s about a fraternity comprised entirely of loser centaurs and it’s called ANIMAL HORSE. When you need tin cans / to be eaten, man / who you gonna call? / Goat Butlers! It’s not th...

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A parody of Mama Mia about pasta making called “Semolina”. King Crimson’s Thela Hun Jinjeet nut about Thelma and Louise. They keep trying to make bread and it keeps turning into drug...

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If you refuse to do good in flawed imperfect systems, you’re not about doing good, you’re about feeling righteous. “Musk” is just one letter away from “Musak”, room-temperature music and...

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I’m conflicted about the role I’ve fallen into in, as a lore-keeper for all my home-town’s darkest open secrets, the things that everyone knows if they were there at the time, but sound absolute...

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