Entries 419

Page 3 of 17

Im trying to not do what he said but i can’t because now I just feel bad about myself. I woke up feeling bad and I cried alot and I’m still crying. I just don’t wanna leave the house today. I ju...

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I don’t feel good so I’ve been up this entire time listening to music and reality tv and just feeling not great. I keep thinking about it, my personality and me not caring. I’ll maybe idk tell m...

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It’s my personality. I try to hard, I’m too insecure and he thinks I didn’t actually care. When I heard the not caring about our relationship part, I admit, I choked up a bit and wrote five dif...

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Joseph is being so kind now, it confuses me. He talks to me more often and compliments me and acts so gentle it hurts. It hurts because I really wanna be independent, I wanna make myself feel how...

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I need to write a big entry this morning so I’m sorry if alot is going on. I got attacked by a bee and it flew in my breasts 🙃. But besides that little five second panic of me screaming and tear...

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I started writing and planning out my next novella. Nearly 2k words so far. I also finished First Kill, netflix’s lesbian ya tv show, very cheesy but I want another season atleast. I went out wi...

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I don’t know what to say here, I haven’t been feeling good these past few days. Not like myself. I have been showering and eating but I don’t care about anything. I just want to sleep. I will ad...

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That’s it that’s the title. I was talking to Joseph and I just felt something come over me. This feeling of emptiness, this feeling of pure nothing. I haven’t been having a good few days and I ...

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I wanted to write sometime nice or atleat detailed but it’s just not good right now. I finally got to cry over all of it and it’s not just Joseph. It’s other things irl I don’t feel brave enough ...

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Mom made me angry this morning but whatever. She did my hair and it looks great. Joseph and I are speaking, it’s nice but also painful. My body feels broken. My ankles hurt, I’m tired, I’m beate...

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I thought about it but yeah, he did. We had a conversation and he shared how he felt bad reading how much I was hurt. He shared his thoughts and I shared mine. I feel good that we spoke, God, wh...

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Bad news :( I am even sicker than before. At this point, I will need to talk to the store as I used all the headache medicine and I’ve almost used all the cold pills mom bought. She gave me some...

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I slept for awhile today. Joseph and I talked but it just made me feel worse. It’s pride month, it’s the summer I should be having a great time. But I’m not, I’m just not. I have to upload the e...

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how dare he even say that. He’s a liar, I tell myself this anytime I wanted to crack in tonight’s conversation. He’s a liar. He left you alone. He doesn’t care. He doesn’t care about you at all s...

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I don’t know what I want. I’ve been rereading comments here and Joseph’s messages over and over. I have been really sick. Eating hurts. I was so frustrated I hurt my leg but it’s better now. Con...

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I would never, ever use someone in a relationship. I loved him. I still do. I am not going to force someone to stay with me. Or try to convince them otherwise. That would be gross. Being told I ...

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I apologize if this is sudden, trust me I didn’t see this coming. J or Joseph, requested a break from us and honestly a break up. I had fears but honestly, I felt secure and confident. It hurt. ...

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I was trying to find the right day to write a new entry. I might have lost aid for sophomore year which…sigh. J’s friends like me, even if they are wary of me. I was smiling hard either way as it...

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Mom made me calamari and a yummy shrimp/bacon salad. J and I haven’t had much time to talk. I, had to gather my thoughts to write a entry. I really, truly did. I can’t stop thinking about how mu...

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Just finished my last class before finals are due with a blast. Skipped my second period, was gucem free pizza, candy and doughnuts over the last few days. I need to spend this free time studyin...

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I want to try sexting again for J but it feels gross. I don’t like being turned on, sorry, it’s just gross. I went to a specialist for my health issues and I was lost and I just wanted to go hom...

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I’m doing it again, doubting myself. I had a good week, weeks even, but this weekend has been bad. All I think about is our conversations And my fears. I applied for fall 2022 classes, if everyth...

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J and I had some hard talks today. He worries, that he not only makes me happy but depressed. I guess, maybe. I don’t know but I love J alot, he’s the softest, kindest, man I’ve ever met. I had ...

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J is so so nice ehehe. I was sad and made sure to pout and sniffle and message him. I wanted attention, sympathy and warmth and he immediately showered me with it. Sometimes, I wonder if they i...

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Stalking J’s Twitter is something I try not to do often because I see comments that make me jealous. I used to breakdown with my ex doing this and I remember I laid in bed, crying and screaming i...

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