HoniBunnyCakey ⋅ 21 ⋅
I'm a pan girl with some issues and some dreams. I want to be author someday and live a comfortable life with someone.
Entries 414
Page 4 of 17
Tomorrow I'm 19 in Journal 2022
And I feel ready. I’m excited but this year I’ll have a meal I can’t wait to eat. I do have to worry about some grades but I won’t let that weight me down, I’ll fight as hard as I can to maintain...
I wanna rip her head off in Journal 2022
I get jealous easily. Spent to many entries talking about it to explain why. I feel so hot with a sick fever and jealousy. I don’t care if J has friends but I feel… boiling at some words. I’m je...
Sexual Exploration in Journal 2022
J and I have started to be sexual with one another, it’s a nice change. It’s slow sexting but I feel like I can enjoy it and not depend on being depressed or hating myself like before. J truly is...
When everyone is worried about your safety but you in Journal 2022
I feel odd, everyone seems to suddenly be so worried about my safety, so worried about my health. And I just feel like, wow this would have been needed months ago. I don’t like telling people J’...
March 2022 quick update in Journal 2022
This is just a notice that I’m still here, so much has been going on.
Weekend Woes in Journal 2022
I’ve been having a good time with Joseph. Currently doing my laundry today while watching a video about people reading stranger’s diaries and their own from middle school. Honestly if someone rea...
Happiness in Journal 2022
I feel happy with Joseph. He’s so patient. Recently he shared his sexual fantasies and I admittedly don’t see many of them happening. But he didn’t mind that and instead comforted me and talked a...
Janaury 2015, Age 11 in Journal 2022
I remember when my great grandmother died. I was living in another part of thestateat the time, going to a early college middle school. That year I had no friends, it was a nice school but I had ...
Dating Joseph Now BEFORE YOU YELL AT ME.... in Journal 2022
It’s a good relationship so far even tho it’s days old dating wise. He’s so kind and talks about communication and how we shouldn’t rush sexual things until I feel safe and can actually give cons...
No Regrets in Journal 2022
Today or well Sunday was slow. I laid in bed alot thinking about things. I’ve kept true to my word and left Joseph alone. I’ll only contact him when he contacts me, because I feel like he needs t...
Obsession in Journal 2022
Joseph is so fragile right now, it makes me angry at the people that did this. In the past, I’ve written that I needed to tet help for these urges and thoughts. But, Joseph is so hurt by those pe...
Im not a baby murderer. in Journal 2022
I don’t get why I always get such awful comments about how I want to treat my own body. It’s so random at times, it makes me feel sad and doubt myself but I remind myself that this is me and this...
Restful Weekend in Journal 2022
I am mentally unstable but stably responsible. I guess sometimes I feel worried how ill be perceived through this diary. But sometimes I feel like it won’t matter. For now, I’m just focused on w...
Cold hearted in Journal 2022
Today was quiet. A page I’ve interacted with alot thanked me for being so nice to them. I felt, happy but also sad. Because am I really a nice person? Or just a pretender. Sometimes you find your...
I guess i'd abort my son in Journal 2022
I thought about something depressing, it’s sad and a bit fucked up. If I had a son I think I’d be scared and abort them. I would feel like I’d be a failure of a mother being scared of men and h...
Back onto the bullshit in Journal 2022
It was nice to have one normal year in this chronicle of diaries. Today was calm, I watched some reactions to Euphoria. That was hard with headphones on and a phone nearby…note I never EVER put ...
Thinking of SH & hyperpop music in Journal 2022
I haven’t cut in years, that’s fucking crazy. It was 2021 I think I posted about it here and now I’m here missing it. I was gonna go out like a nutcase I suppose, with hundreds watching. It just ...
Therapy fucking sucks why in Journal 2022
Lying my ass off in therapy, don’t know why she brought up a political issue during it. I’m so annoyed with that. My head is banging. I cried alot today, emotionally spent. Quite literally just g...
This shoul have been easy in Journal 2022
My friend “died” a few months ago. I felt bad but I never bothered to say anything on the post made about it. Death is only relative, it’s only temporary. We are in a world that’s temporary. But ...
Age Gap relationship? in Journal 2022
So. Joseph is into me. He knew I had a crush and I don’t know what our relationship is anymore. I felt sick but thrilled? And mistreated to the idea and then felt sicker and that I was going to p...
A world folding inward in Journal 2022
I feel like I’m dying. I keep seeing things, feeling things. I’m growing worried but I have to stay strong. In a dying world one must be reborn. Is this what rebirth is meant to feel like? Who kn...
damn DO i have BPD? in Journal 2022
This is something I’ve debated for awhile. I truly wish I had started started my diary earlier at age 15 so we could see if my theory is correct. I have pondered for awhile if I have BPD or some...
college dismissal threat and depression in Journal 2022
so…a lot has happened. wanted to write sooner but I’m rushing this computer will die soon! my college sent an email dismissing me, but I appealed. it was more so a threat but my advisor said I’m ...
jan 06//2022 - death by 21 in Journal 2022
At 21, the decision if I live or if I die will be made. this kinda hit me like a train at 16, 17 saying this felt like I had a century to choose. a century before college ended and I was basical...
Dec 28 2021 in Journal 2021
I’m gonna turn on Spotify pretty soon and listen to some of woo!ah!’s album but I was restless today, I needed to get an entry out. That fire to write has returned and honestly, I kind of have a ...