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Page 5 of 17

So. Joseph is into me. He knew I had a crush and I don’t know what our relationship is anymore. I felt sick but thrilled? And mistreated to the idea and then felt sicker and that I was going to p...

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I feel like I’m dying. I keep seeing things, feeling things. I’m growing worried but I have to stay strong. In a dying world one must be reborn. Is this what rebirth is meant to feel like? Who kn...

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This is something I’ve debated for awhile. I truly wish I had started started my diary earlier at age 15 so we could see if my theory is correct. I have pondered for awhile if I have BPD or some...

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so…a lot has happened. wanted to write sooner but I’m rushing this computer will die soon! my college sent an email dismissing me, but I appealed. it was more so a threat but my advisor said I’m ...

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At 21, the decision if I live or if I die will be made. this kinda hit me like a train at 16, 17 saying this felt like I had a century to choose. a century before college ended and I was basical...

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I’m gonna turn on Spotify pretty soon and listen to some of woo!ah!’s album but I was restless today, I needed to get an entry out. That fire to write has returned and honestly, I kind of have a ...

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I found more from December of 2019 and others. It hurts and burns but I feel like it’s good to see this right now. I made progress since then but I’m still clearly I’m a broken person. Dear Rua Y...

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I wrote this December, 18th, 2019 and I felt so sad seeing all these old letters and notes I wrote to myself in pain, suffering, crying, dying inside due to abuse. Dear Will Your words showed me ...

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Oh my goodness Kep1er my babies are about to dominate the kpop scene! Anyway, Merry Christmas or happy holidays to everyone. Guests are over so I can’t really leave my room so I’m bored typing aw...

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Almost time to start a new journal for 2022. It’s crazy how fast time has gone by and how much my life has changed. The collab on youtube for the secret Santa event was so much fun, it felt nice ...

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So I went to the store and bought more things for my moms huge gift. A small mini eyeshadow palette, a huge box of turdles, etc for mom. The biggest gift I’ve ever made and I got my brother some ...

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My friends and I went to see Spiderman no way home Monday. My best friend slept in so we went a few hours late and I was pissed because she’s been late alot recently, even to a our graduation pra...

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Bruh water and Jamaican detangler spray with a detangler brush really is a lifesaver. My thick ponytail holders finally came along with my large blowdryer brush and my container to hold it all. I...

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Today was okay i guess. My mom screamed in my face but besides that it was okay. My old house (great grandparents) is a hoarders den. Bugs, mice, etc probably reside. It made me so uncomfortable…...

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I thought I wrote in November! Anyway, I’ve been meaning to update but school and just forgetfulness got me. Plus all I have to talk about is really just college, job hunting, therapy and writin...

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It’s been a odd few weeks. College is like a blur. I feel tranfixed, overwhelmed and happy all at once. Exhauston is normal.

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So, I’m erping with that friend I talked about and I’m enjoying it and I just froze. Idk how to respond to him and I feel embarrassed to say anything 😕

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I have to apologize for not writing much this year, I’ve taken a step back from being so open. So school has been good, it’s a technical community college that’s about a hour walk from my house. ...

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Start college soon. Nervous

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I had a bunch of meltdowns over this but I think I’m finally ready. This weekend with my brother we will be riding the bus for the first time. We will go to my campus and then back home. I have t...

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I’m kinda sad, I miss my old friends but I cut myself off for a reason. I really really miss my friend Sebastain. I see him as a little brother but I need to work on myself before we talk. Some f...

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The year has been wild so far. I’m a adult now. I have a job. I’m enrolled in college. So much has happened and I don’t even know where to start. Yesterday I went with my mom to pawn her ex fianc...

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It’s been a lot of voices. A lot of hallucinating. A lot of hating work…he makes me feel better. I’m worried. I hate hate everything. I hate work. I hate being awake. I hate him not understanding...

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I had those thoughts again. The jealousy. As soon as it happened I felt awful. I guess I’m not really better yet. It was just a retweet of some girl with my friend and I got so angry and jealous...

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I’m alone but it’s alright. I have to get better alone. I have to.

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