HoniBunnyCakey ⋅ 21

I'm a pan girl with some issues and some dreams. I want to be author someday and live a comfortable life with someone.

Entries 406

Page 5 of 17

December 14, 2021

Oh my goodness in Journal 2021

I thought I wrote in November! Anyway, I’ve been meaning to update but school and just forgetfulness got me. Plus all I have to talk about is really just college, job hunting, therapy and writin...


October 16, 2021

Wonder in Journal 2021

It’s been a odd few weeks. College is like a blur. I feel tranfixed, overwhelmed and happy all at once. Exhauston is normal.


October 08, 2021

Freeze in Journal 2021

So, I’m erping with that friend I talked about and I’m enjoying it and I just froze. Idk how to respond to him and I feel embarrassed to say anything 😕


September 21, 2021

The September Update in Journal 2021

I have to apologize for not writing much this year, I’ve taken a step back from being so open. So school has been good, it’s a technical community college that’s about a hour walk from my house. ...


August 29, 2021

School in Journal 2021

Start college soon. Nervous


I had a bunch of meltdowns over this but I think I’m finally ready. This weekend with my brother we will be riding the bus for the first time. We will go to my campus and then back home. I have t...


August 11, 2021

Wanting friends in Journal 2021

I’m kinda sad, I miss my old friends but I cut myself off for a reason. I really really miss my friend Sebastain. I see him as a little brother but I need to work on myself before we talk. Some f...


July 30, 2021

7 months in review in Journal 2021

The year has been wild so far. I’m a adult now. I have a job. I’m enrolled in college. So much has happened and I don’t even know where to start. Yesterday I went with my mom to pawn her ex fianc...


It’s been a lot of voices. A lot of hallucinating. A lot of hating work…he makes me feel better. I’m worried. I hate hate everything. I hate work. I hate being awake. I hate him not understanding...


July 14, 2021

Baby Steps in Journal 2021

I had those thoughts again. The jealousy. As soon as it happened I felt awful. I guess I’m not really better yet. It was just a retweet of some girl with my friend and I got so angry and jealous...


July 08, 2021

Desolation in Journal 2021

I’m alone but it’s alright. I have to get better alone. I have to.


June 22, 2021

Health again in Journal 2021

Didnt get to read comments yet sorry this is a quick entry as I’m exhuasted Usually when I cramp I take four to eight pain pills and rest. Recently I’ve started taking thera flu with everything. ...


June 21, 2021

Sleepy in Journal 2021

Still no bank account. Still no job. I feel like a failure. I might see a gynecologist for my periods but the thought of even letting a man there brings me to tears. My fear of men has worsen sad...


Thank u for the graduation messages. I feel like I found my true friends. About maybe two. Everyone else only sees you as a object. Something you get something from. They aren’t friends. They’re ...


June 07, 2021

Graduated in Journal 2021

I graduated highschool friday, it was a busy 2 weeks so yesterday I just ate so much and relaxed. Now onto finding a job as I am done with school until college. It all feels so strange, I used to...


May 23, 2021

Thank u in Journal 2021

The comments have been really nice this time around and I re read them a lot to feel better when I’m done. Thank you so much.


May 14, 2021

Sleeping in Journal 2021

I wanna sleep forever, no more adult stuff. Just sleep


I watched lovely bones today. I’ve watched the movie a lot as a kid and now it was just too much. I felt too uncomfortable and I lied saying I had to use the bathroom. Instead I just cried, I’m s...


May 09, 2021

Rewind in Journal 2021

I just realized I didnt write about the suicide attempt on a live. Its embarrassing honestly. I don’t want to share it at all. I’m so exhausted. Sorry for being gone so long, I’ve just not been ...


May 09, 2021

Empathy in Journal 2021

I was harassed again. At least I wasnt accused of pedophilia and fetishization. But it had suicide bating this time…thankfully it’s been handled but still hurt. It always hurt, it hurt the first ...


March 28, 2021

Bug in Journal 2021

John messaged me. I’m on guard. I don’t have time for games. I’m not my past self, I’m not Mari anymore. I have to admit that.


I feel bad but sometimes I wonder if it had been better to let Calin die. Helping him just earned me another betrayal after betrayal. Helping everyone just ruined everything. I think about this a...


March 11, 2021

Truth. in Journal 2021

I don’t think I was supposed to hear the conversation. My mother’s fiancee was talking about how he thinks I’ll basically drop out or give up and how I can’t take care of myself. And that my mom ...


February 24, 2021

Two Months Later in Journal 2021

Two months since the breakup. I managed to class pre calculus for the year. I am working on passing my current classes the hardest I can, I have a big test this week so I want to make sure I get ...


January 31, 2021

Falling apart in Journal 2021

I feel empty and broken aside. I’m so tired of everyone. I’m so tired of everything. I’m so empty, I just want to run away. I want to get away forever. I feel sick and alone. I’m all alone. I’m...


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