youjusd0ntkn0

“I have absolutely no pleasure in the stimulants in which I sometimes so madly indulge. It has not been in the pursuit of pleasure that I have periled life and reputation and reason. It has been the desperate attempt to escape from torturing memories

Edgar Allan Poe

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I am such an over thinker. I always think about something and then I overthink about it. I dissect it and once I dissect it I dissect the dissections. Why is he so gentle and at the same time so...


I feel like this quarantine for me, personally, is a very super self-reflective period. Yeah, Liam is around and we have our mutual dog… and I exist with him in the confines of our home, but trul...


May 08, 2020

Normal is relative in Musings

“Babe, can you just stop nagging me, and just lay in my arms and cuddle?!” Liam said as he laid on the couch and opened the Lynx fur throw signaling me to just lay between his legs. I mean Covid-...


February 22, 2020

Sign on the Dotted Line in Musings

One of the main reasons Liam and I haven’t set a date in stone for our wedding and hoopla is that I have a iron clad prenuptial agreement that protects my assets if there is any instance of divor...


I guess he’s right. I don’t know sometimes I’m so self-absorbed and so full of myself that I don’t want to admit that he’s right… but he’s right. He came home from a long, long day of work… I wor...


January 25, 2020

Oh chloe in Musings

The lingering question about my fiancé’s best girl friend… we’ve been hanging out. We had lunch at some fancy place and we got drunk out of our minds by 1 pm… And I blurted our “Chloe tell me th...


One of the very, very few female friends that Liam has, Chloe, is one of the very few women that he’s introduced me to that literally intimidates the living fuck out of me… And for Liam to tell m...


January 05, 2020

Jealousy. in Musings

“I’m over this” I chugged my glass of wine. Liam scrunched his face “we’ve only been here like 30 minutes baby, chill” he said putting his arm over my shoulders. “I hate it here!” I said through ...


December 28, 2019

My Dearest Dead Grandma in Musings

Once upon a time there was a little Puerto Rican boy who met his beautiful grandmother… she was heavy chested and her hips were wide—after all she beared 23 children. Her hair was crimped and sil...


December 22, 2019

Liam in Musings

The mention of his name sends goosebumps down my spine and horniness in my loins. I can masturbate just to his name and reach orgasm in under 2 minutes. He’s everything that I have fought all of ...


He texted me “good morning papito; I don’t like when you leave without at least me giving you a grumpy goodbye! I hope you have a good day at work—always remember that I love you so much, I am so...


November 12, 2019

The Genesis of Family. in Musings

The jangling of your keys on our door. You burst open and your eyes light up as you sloppily close the door, stumbling toward me. Your lips taste like whiskey. Your fingers as they hold my face s...


The thing about me is that I have a very, very sketchy and long history of drug abuse. Or rather, I have a very manic relationship with all things… I’ve abused drugs, all were amphetamines; I do...


I am definitely not the bitch you wanna cross. Once you fuck with me, I’m not trying to hurt you the way you hurt me, I’m not seeking revenge, I want to step on your throat and find out how to su...


I know that I overthink everything and I am always waiting for the ground to cave beneath my feet… I have a really, really strong feeling that Liam is completely and utterly harmless; if anythin...


His name is Liam… And he’s bad… He’s bad, bad, bad for me… Yes Alex and i parted ways amicably. Liam is everything that I had a ‘do not cross’ tape over—he’s heavily tattooed, he’s Puerto Rican, ...


June 16, 2019

Karma in Musings

I sold my soul to the devil a long time ago. So don’t fuck with me, because I am an egotistical, selfish and hedonistic patriot. I’m not a physically aggressive person and murder isn’t my thing—b...


One of my biggest pet peeves about being a hairstylist is, I do not like women who sit in my chair and have no fucking clue what they want to do with their hair… and say to me “do whatever you wa...


I hate that for me to gain any sort of respect I have to play the rich boy card.... like I might look like trash but I’m dressed in Balenciaga, carrying an Hermés bag living in a 8500 sq ft apart...


May 02, 2019

Husband ruminations in Musings

He’s smart as fuck, but I’m a helluva lot smarter. He has always kind of disagreed with my obnoxious intelligence… but it’s also the reason why he keeps marrying me… I am obnoxiously intelligent ...


The very thing I love about him, I hate about him in this battle of paradoxes… And I’ve also felt this way about Alexander… and most definitely know that I’m in some sick competition with him tha...


April 23, 2019

Fuck You Mom. in Musings

Easter was a bust. A mega bust. Everything and every move that I made I was reprimanded for… “Andres! Uncross your legs!” “Andres sit up straight, like a man!” “Andres! Why is your hair frizzy!” ...


April 16, 2019

I am my own monster in Musings

I sat in my bullshit luxury apartment’s bathroom… in the corner contemplating if I should just drink the Clorox or slap the rest of my Ativan down my throat and end everything… I’m so tired, I’m ...


April 03, 2019

I'm very simple in Musings

You think that giving me a diamond bullshit piece of jewelry is what I want to remember when my mother is dying?!?! And yes maybe I was extremely irate. I hadn’t slept, i drank all night with my ...


I believe that when you are spiritually weak evil shit comes to you. It’s like a vulture, eat the dying Carcass. I’m not in my right state of mind and I’m lashing out in different directions. Th...


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