Oh chloe in Musings

The lingering question about my fiancé’s best girl friend…
we’ve been hanging out. We had lunch at some fancy place and we got drunk out of our minds by 1 pm…
And I blurted our “Chloe tell me the truth, have you ever fucked Liam?”
She looked at me and burst out laughing “Me? Fuck Liam?” She said giggling “Babe, I have never, nor will I ever fuck that guy, and I’m surprised you do!” She laughed… her Louboutins clacked loudly on the marble floors as she laughed and she turned around and said “Andy, I’m not saying HE has never tried and I haven’t rejected him!” She put her arm around me and said “for a lack of a better description, LOOK at me, I mean LOOK at you! And LOOK at him!” She said as we left the building.
“Wait what’s that suppose to mean?!” I felt my anger surging.
“Andy, you and I are cut from the same cloth… we are both way out of his league and luckily for him, he found you—he’s always said how we remind him of each other to him—and at first I was offended, but then I saw you… we are the same boy or girl or whatever…”

In the end Chloe reminds me of me because she is so brutally honest… she reminds me of me when I’m single… she reminds me of me because she looks like she spends money on herself… she reminds me of me because she values herself… she owns her own beauty PR firm… she’s incredibly brilliant and successful… she’s intimidating, she’s stunning…

And it’s funny that she thinks that of me… “you’re fucking beautiful, you look like you spend money to take care of yourself, you’re 35 and you look 23, you’re incredibly successful, I don’t know why you haven’t hired my firm to represent your salon and push it to the next level, you’re sharp, you’re witty and you’re a fucking intimidating bitch, you intimidated the fuck out of me when I met you”
“omg!” I squealed “you intimidated me too!”
“Really?!?” She said grabbing my hands.
“Yes slut! You were wearing some limited edition fragrance that I’ve only smelled in Paris, and you had a limited edition Birkin bag! And you jet snubbed me!” I said
“No fucking way did I snub you!” She said as we walked down to a nearby bar “you had a limited edition birkin bag that cost a lot more than mine and you have this arrogant face, you snubbed me!” She said

The reason we have resting bitch face is because I have so much Botox and collagen and micro facelifts that it’s preserved my face to permanently look bitchy… and so has she. We were both bullied horribly in school… we were both shunned out by our mother. And we built ourselves from absolute shit, to prove everyone that we aren’t the statistic we should’ve been.

I’m obsessed with Chloe and Liam hates that I hang out with her… but too bad, don’t tell us that we remind you of each other and then when we meet, we really are the same exact person… he birthday is the day after mine!