littlefallsmets ⋅ 44

I write words, I sometimes get to perform them out, sometimes I'm even paid. And I'm trying to get it right, get it right.

with enough repetition, your flaws become your style


Entries 4,944

Page 7 of 198

My secret is that my borderline-obsequious over-abundance of humility is a defense mechanism. Not self-defense, mind you, it’s there to protect everyone else. When I was a child, I was greedy and...

August 08, 2023

august 9 in idea barrages

A parody of “Lose Yourself” predicated upon replacing “Mom’s spaghetti” with “my machete” and just riffing on horror movies from there. I’m trying to imagine a website so valuable to me that ...

August 06, 2023

august 7 in idea barrages

Ms. Piggy flirtatiously raised the hem of her dress as she moved, not showing a whole lot, mind you, just a little peek at her oinkle. I just saw an ad for a middle-of-the-road pop-country to...

August 04, 2023

august 5 in idea barrages

I’m honestly surprised there wasn’t a porn parody called THE LOIN KING. You will sail the seas of Scandinavia in a boat you call “The Fjord Explorer”. Utica gets a bad rap, making it sound ...

August 02, 2023

august 3 in idea barrages

On his first visit to Earth, Groot was very disappointed to discover what a “leaf blower” actually was. “What did you THINK it was?” Nebula asked him. He shrugged “I am Groot?” “You WOULD think...

Nothing quite like the dog days of summer to make one feel like the most rotund piece of flotsam and/or jetsam in the sea, depending whether one was abandoned to the briny deep accidentally or on...

July 31, 2023

august 1 in idea barrages

She had been cooking calamari for so long, she was having a squid-life crisis. A sitcom about the Trojan Wars called FULL HORSE. Man, the seats from that new Tron rollercoaster at Disney lo...

July 30, 2023

july 30 in idea barrages

“Wipe out your cities / re-draw your maps / everybody’s doin’ / the Bronze Age Collapse”. Please create a dance pop banger using this line as the focus of the chorus, let’s create the weirdest ...

July 27, 2023

july 28 in idea barrages

It occurs me to how many younger people out there are eating Sour Patch Kids without making the connection that they’re a riff on Cabbage Patch Kids at all. While they may’ve heard of Cabbage P...

July 26, 2023

haiku with caramel in poetry

this cracker-jack love while sweet clouds may fade with time the true prize endures

“It ends with us,” she said, “I do not know what to do with that.” “Of course it ends with us,” I replied, “we’re closing shift today.” “No,” Jess laughed, “the novel It Ends with Us, the Colleen...

July 25, 2023

july 26 in idea barrages

I enjoy the term “athleisure” not because I would look good in those clothes but, rather, because it suggests competitive leisure and makes me feel like I could win a gold medal yet. Cargo sh...

July 23, 2023

july 24 in idea barrages

Why call it “homework” when you could call it “school samples”? In Stockholm, they call french fries “pommes frittes” or “Swede potato fries”. The phrase “I’ve got bees, they’re multiplying...

July 23, 2023

TAKE ME ON (HAIKU) in poetry

if only you would pull me through that little screen I’d be your a-ha

July 21, 2023

july 22 in idea barrages

Sometimes when I was whisking matcha tea, I would sing to myself “mat-cha mat-cha man, I want to be a mat-cha man”. Pretend to confuse “search engine” and “siege engine” whenever possible. ...

July 19, 2023

july 20 in idea barrages

If it wasn’t the name of a deadly insect borne illness, “malaria” would be a great name for a flower. “Oh, you know it’s June when you see the malarias in bloom.” Anxiety is a culture, a cult...

To say I’m not a morning person is an understatement, understatement so profound as to border on absurdity. Saying I am not an early morning person would be like saying Tom Cruise is only overcom...

July 17, 2023

july 18 in idea barrages

A parody of NIN’s “Star----ers Inc.” about Rust Monsters. A movie about Sir Mix-A-Lot crossing paths with a group of Amish testing if they want to live in the modern world and it’s called “Ru...

old cup lying by the side of the road residue of baja blast flour shell lying in a gutter by the drain with a few beans holding fast grown men squatting in the alley at dawn ...

July 15, 2023

july 16 in idea barrages

In WARHORSE 2: FIGHT TIL YOU’RE HOARSE, the warhorse works in weapons development and invents neighpalm. Almost asleep, our hero jumps out of bed with the realization that Red Green was the C...

July 13, 2023

july 14 in idea barrages

Driving home, I got on my nonsense again and started imagining a languid 1:35 AM blues bar version of the WKRP IN CINCINNATI theme song, like Donald Fagen “Nightfly” / Tom Waits “Small Change” ...

She was on her supervisor’s bad side and she knew it. The exact cause at that particular time was a mystery but, when you’re spending a literal eternity in Hell, there’s a long list of things it ...

July 11, 2023

july 12 in idea barrages

I like to think that at least one of the roads in BLOWIN’ IN THE WIND was the road they traveled down and back again in the GOLDEN GIRLS theme. The only difference between peanut brittle and ...

July 09, 2023

july 10 in idea barrages

CUDDLELINGUS. There aren’t enough jokes about the workers at the Cheesecake Factory seizing the means of production. I feel like KFC never leaned into the Kernels / Colonels pun with their ...

July 08, 2023

july 8 in idea barrages

Trying my best to be a good person is like chasing the horizon or the half lives of radioactive elements. I improve but there’s always new things I have to learn how to work on. I’m well-intent...

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