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I have got to remind myself that manifestation is not a wish being immediately granted. Manifestation is a not a magic word. People manifest for years. An overnight success is rarely an overnigh...


October 28, 2020

Delays in Weight Loss Surgery

So as you may know, when the holidays come Will’s work schedule gets busier. So that last weigh in date we had set up now has to be rescheduled for a later date. Disappointed doesn’t even cover...


October 06, 2020

Now I know in just testing

I want you all to do n experiment with me. Suspend logic and reality for a bit. Imagine for a moment that when you woke up this morning you were back at 13 years old. You woke up in your childh...


October 02, 2020

The talks in Weight Loss Surgery

Just some good talks going on… First off - I think i mentioned a while ago that the admin from IL talked to us about being overwhelmed. Well finally the VP of philanthropy has found out so she ta...


September 29, 2020

excited buzz in Weight Loss Surgery

Not much going on over here. Saturday was pretty much a veg day. Sunday I did trap 2 kitties and then Will was home. We had breakfast together and then went to his parents house for a bbq. The...


September 25, 2020

Fad diet in Weight Loss Surgery

We all know my trainer doesn’t want me to get surgery. And yesterday she said that everyone who gets the surgery loses a massive amount of weight the first year when they physically can’t eat al...


September 21, 2020

The weekend in Weight Loss Surgery

I am trying to mantra myself into loving my body. Seeing it as the light / soul / perfect body that it actually is and ignoring what it actually looks like. It’s going ok but still my period ende...


This body that I see now is my earth body - but I am an immortal being in a temporary earth body right now. I have all the answers, my mind on earth is cloudy but that’s not the real me. I am he...


September 14, 2020

Fear in Weight Loss Surgery

A vlogger mentioned that anything we consider important in our lives is only important because we fear losing it. And fear of losing “it” pushes it away and then yes, you may lose it. If you’re ...


September 11, 2020

More PCOS research in Weight Loss Surgery

Bear with me or skip this while I work this out. I’m doing so much research because I don’t want to resort to drugs on this but it’s a lot of what the research is about. What I think, and I cou...


September 10, 2020

PCOS research in Weight Loss Surgery

So I’ve def figured out that you can have PCOS symptoms while not having out of whack ovary cysts/follicles. But it doesn’t mean that couldn’t develop for me, it’s just not something I have now. ...


September 09, 2020

Facial Hair in Weight Loss Surgery

I left out one PCOS symptom from the last entry that I’m incredibly embarrassed by but I gotta at least mention it at least in my diary. I’ve been growing chin hairs. No where near a real beard,...


September 09, 2020

Pcos in Weight Loss Surgery

I definitely think i have it. I never really looked into it before and i don’t have all the symptoms, I have some: Im tired, I’m fat, I’m diabetic, no sex drive, mood swings (depression/ anxiety...


I was cleaning the bathtub today and it was so freaking hard - plus I got damn doors instead of a shower curtain so that is annoying too but it’s just hard to bend and crouch and whatever else wi...


So in a previous entry I was saying that getting praise from my job is not a good reason to work - and getting praise for a clean house is not a reason to clean your house LOL I don’t even know w...


I’m always listening to different youtubers about all this spiritual stuff and one of them got me thinking about my self and self love and all that. Maybe me feeling that I don’t get enough outs...


So last night I did not sleep well. I was feeling all over the place after my mom’s house. I was feeling guilty for being mad at Emma. Guilty for at all exuding any kind of annoyance at her aft...


So me and the training had a talk yesterday about “good” carbs and “bad” carbs and yesterday was my first day eating “good carbs”. I show her my eating track sheet everyday so I sent her yesterda...


I was watching this woman who basically says you can manifest anything you want if you believe it is possible even if you don’t believe it can happen. So for example she said she went to concert...


I’ve actually been wanting to do a spread for a while so I’ve done the super traditional Celtic Cross. I didn’t have a specific question in mind - just inviting messages. 1 You Right Now - Knig...


August 13, 2020

Endoscopy in Weight Loss Surgery

Yeap yesterday was my big doctor day. Not surgery day but this would let me and Will know if we were even healthy enough for it. The bloodwork we already had was ok besides us both having diabet...


August 11, 2020

memories... in Weight Loss Surgery

I went back to the entries from when I had the hand foot and mouth issue. I still look at my hands now and am amazed that they look normal. My hands and feet got swollen and full of itchy red b...


August 07, 2020

Inside Out in Weight Loss Surgery

I haven’t seen that movie since it first came out in theaters but I was up way too late last night and it came to be that I’m the “happy” emotion in the movie. And you might think that’s great b...


I lied and told my sister that my job wanted some pastries from her and that they would pay. In reality I would pay - I’m not sure how I’m gonna make it look like they did it. I dunno it just c...


July 23, 2020

Better in Weight Loss Surgery

I forgot to mention that I did find a peaceful place yesterday. I FINALLY remembered a park with a track and fountains to looks at - as well as ducks. I actually got lost finding it first and e...


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