Entries 423

Page 3 of 17

I felt lonely, so I decided to write today. I miss having someone to talk to at night. I don’t really do much besides study for school (I got my aid back yay), write, watch TV or comment on tv. ...

---

Today I went to a store for a interview and I just, didn’t go. I could tell from everything there I would hate working there and it was so empty I kept walking in circles trying to find anyone to...

---

I waited 2 days for anything. Anything at all. I told myself to not be rash with making decisions. I’m gonna just dissappear for awhile, maybe a few months if everything goes as planned. I just ...

---

I don’t want to make any rushed choices so I told myself I’ll wait a few more days. I might get a new therapist whose also black and younger, my moms super excited and kind of pushy for me to do...

---

Im trying to not do what he said but i can’t because now I just feel bad about myself. I woke up feeling bad and I cried alot and I’m still crying. I just don’t wanna leave the house today. I ju...

---

I don’t feel good so I’ve been up this entire time listening to music and reality tv and just feeling not great. I keep thinking about it, my personality and me not caring. I’ll maybe idk tell m...

---

It’s my personality. I try to hard, I’m too insecure and he thinks I didn’t actually care. When I heard the not caring about our relationship part, I admit, I choked up a bit and wrote five dif...

---

Joseph is being so kind now, it confuses me. He talks to me more often and compliments me and acts so gentle it hurts. It hurts because I really wanna be independent, I wanna make myself feel how...

---

I need to write a big entry this morning so I’m sorry if alot is going on. I got attacked by a bee and it flew in my breasts 🙃. But besides that little five second panic of me screaming and tear...

---

I started writing and planning out my next novella. Nearly 2k words so far. I also finished First Kill, netflix’s lesbian ya tv show, very cheesy but I want another season atleast. I went out wi...

---

I don’t know what to say here, I haven’t been feeling good these past few days. Not like myself. I have been showering and eating but I don’t care about anything. I just want to sleep. I will ad...

---

That’s it that’s the title. I was talking to Joseph and I just felt something come over me. This feeling of emptiness, this feeling of pure nothing. I haven’t been having a good few days and I ...

---

I wanted to write sometime nice or atleat detailed but it’s just not good right now. I finally got to cry over all of it and it’s not just Joseph. It’s other things irl I don’t feel brave enough ...

---

Mom made me angry this morning but whatever. She did my hair and it looks great. Joseph and I are speaking, it’s nice but also painful. My body feels broken. My ankles hurt, I’m tired, I’m beate...

---

I thought about it but yeah, he did. We had a conversation and he shared how he felt bad reading how much I was hurt. He shared his thoughts and I shared mine. I feel good that we spoke, God, wh...

---

Bad news :( I am even sicker than before. At this point, I will need to talk to the store as I used all the headache medicine and I’ve almost used all the cold pills mom bought. She gave me some...

---

I slept for awhile today. Joseph and I talked but it just made me feel worse. It’s pride month, it’s the summer I should be having a great time. But I’m not, I’m just not. I have to upload the e...

---

how dare he even say that. He’s a liar, I tell myself this anytime I wanted to crack in tonight’s conversation. He’s a liar. He left you alone. He doesn’t care. He doesn’t care about you at all s...

---

I don’t know what I want. I’ve been rereading comments here and Joseph’s messages over and over. I have been really sick. Eating hurts. I was so frustrated I hurt my leg but it’s better now. Con...

---

I would never, ever use someone in a relationship. I loved him. I still do. I am not going to force someone to stay with me. Or try to convince them otherwise. That would be gross. Being told I ...

---

I apologize if this is sudden, trust me I didn’t see this coming. J or Joseph, requested a break from us and honestly a break up. I had fears but honestly, I felt secure and confident. It hurt. ...

---

I was trying to find the right day to write a new entry. I might have lost aid for sophomore year which…sigh. J’s friends like me, even if they are wary of me. I was smiling hard either way as it...

---

Mom made me calamari and a yummy shrimp/bacon salad. J and I haven’t had much time to talk. I, had to gather my thoughts to write a entry. I really, truly did. I can’t stop thinking about how mu...

---

Just finished my last class before finals are due with a blast. Skipped my second period, was gucem free pizza, candy and doughnuts over the last few days. I need to spend this free time studyin...

---

I want to try sexting again for J but it feels gross. I don’t like being turned on, sorry, it’s just gross. I went to a specialist for my health issues and I was lost and I just wanted to go hom...

---