Miss Chiffs Manager (One) ⋅ 38 ⋅
Mom! / Biodynamic Urban Farmer / Naturopathic Doctor / Anthroposophist / Mystic / Avid Reader / Writer Extraordinaire / In Pursuit of Moral, Physical, and Intellectual Excellence.
The ending is written into the beginning
Entries 706
Page 9 of 29
It's not my shame in A Childhood Lost
It never was the feelings that were a problem. My parents use them against me. Maybe it does suck to have bad parents, but at least I could rely on people outside the family? I was barely at ho...
Seems like in Journal
I’ve fallen prey to every foible in the book. At least I’m aware of what my foibles are? Generally I’ve become more sensitive. That is expected, having been doing the practices for a couple ...
I actually kind of Like in Journal
This new approach. The approach that seeks out a feeling and just accepts that feeling, no matter what. Like, “oh, you have the belief that your dad is capable of murder (or worse) and the fa...
Processing Fear in Journal
Fear seems like such a tame word for it. It bring the feeling experience that I encounter when I contemplate or even acknowledge the possibility of a choice that might offend my parents. I’ve r...
Have you ever seen in Journal
A real life glitch in the matrix? Im curious. How many have seen one, or haven’t.
Fear, terror, and sadness in A Childhood Lost
Wow it’s been awhile for this journal, eh? I’ve often reminisced about how I had little to say about my dad. That I just hate him, he’s an asshole, end of story, no need to look further. Shi...
Is an ugly, ugly sky; [url=https://postimg.cc/njRtkWqk][/url] [url=https://postimg.cc/nMrxzHtw][/url] [url=https://postimg.cc/rzZ8CDJk][/url] And this [url=https://postimg.cc/sMWzPK6F][/ur...
I'm Changing the Weather in Journal
It’s not a question at all anymore. It was for awhile. Quite awhile. Since 2018 when I began, in fact. This series is from just the other day. [url=https://postimg.cc/9zXTbtBH][/url] [url=h...
a lightness and a joy in letting go Being a follower is not as easy as it sounds. At least, not a good follower. Letting go and following has brought me back to my Dad. Good old daddy issues,...
How safe are you and, can you be of any benefit to me? That the feeling I had when entering the group. “You can trust me.” Oh, okay. Just let me set aside all my discernment, then! I clearly don...
Do you ever feel like in Journal
Everything is becoming Meta? Like. I can’t just feel my feelings - I apparently feel (or imagine I feel) what Feelings as an archetype are. It’s become an experience of experience. And I don’t...
Why Wouldn't I in Journal
Be me? I drank a cup of coffee at 5pm. FIVEPM WHY DID I DO IT So naturally I’m tired but VIGILANT. lol. It’s actually almost my normal bedtime. So not too late. I find it weird…? How I can ...
Interesting convo in Journal
Just now, Questioning whether I identify with wounded scripts. I say no. I identify with my choices. Which includes the choice not to identify with past programming. How do I know which is true...
Are completely annoying and entitled… Lol Look at me all judgemental. I just read a tirade from a woman complaining about feeling judged and she’s humble bragging about a week in bali without h...
I'm just awful in Journal
At being female. I need to do something about it. I recognize it. I’m not warm or comforting or anything. Idk what to say when people bring things up. I mean unless they directly ask or tell me...
and swirling and coming back around. I wasn’t even dizzy. My dreams, all night, were all about circling and whirling and coming back around. The dream was vague, I guess, except for a few ...
Addiction in A Childhood Lost
I should not have brought chocolate into the house. At least, not a Dark chocolate almond bar. I seem to have increased resistance to chocolate chips- I also always get dark chocolate chips. But...
The Great Burden I carried blindly. Completely unaware that it was on my back. It wasn’t until I listened to a description of that aurum constitution that I was like. Huh. Isn’t that just how p...
It seriously feels like several years between now and March 21st. Yeas. Several. WHEW Anywho. Man can I see everything. It’s uh,… weird. I just got a remedy today called Aurum. Homeopathic G...
Do I, though? in Journal
A dear friend took her precious time and resources to speak to me respectfully, firmly, the other day. Which I do appreciate. One of the things she told me that “we must feel emotions, not int...
Zooming Out in Journal
from that heart-centered place, where the light of heaven shines its consciousness down into my mind, allowing my eye to witness the living Heart that is my own Soul enlivening my body moment by...
It's a feeling of Entitlement in Journal
That I feel that comes up when it comes to family. Parents, spouses, etc. in the ego-identified state, that is. Because the ego may be very guarded, almost guaranteed it is, it wants to be secur...
This wasn't a Dream in Dreams
because I was awake I wonder how much of my childhood I spent in that state. Dreaming, sort of, but not really, because I’m not actually sleeping. I endured a lot of sleep trauma as a child. I ...
& submission A friend recommended to me Zak Roedd. I read whole book today. I feel quite sheepish. The transparency of what is/was happening in light of his paradigm is just… Well. It’s th...
Am I so dead set on just running the hamster wheel? Even after doing so much and feeling like on a roll, I have these thoughts of… “Now he’ll finally want me” or ” this will fix it so I can sta...
