Entries 433
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Beginning
I’ve had a scathing respect for my mother’s capacity for premonitions. Scathing, because, she is paranoid, controlling, neurotic, etc Respect, because in spite of her flaws and blatant misuse o...
Echoes
Is all there is Left of my little self I see her and love her But my perspective is widening To cosmic heights. Or at least, nearer Than it was. I’m learning Morse Code. I never before ...
Am I paying attention?
Yesterday I had a first coaching call with T. He isn’t very good, and I probably won’t schedule another one. I remember the first time I saw him (on a recording). My heart sank. I had that sam...
Butterflies
If you find yourself experiencing hate for people you’ve never met in real life, and who haven’t harmed you, or who you assert “harm” a concept like a community (an idea- there can be no phys...
Kind of Insane to Me
How many people’s days, let alone their current lives, are unhinged by what some orange guy does in his corporate office. I pray for y’all. Upon reflection,I think government, or U.S. Corp o...
The Mystic
Descriptions of the Mysitic and the path of the Mystic, by Christof Melchizedek “Neptune and Aries ask you to reclaim any projection of the divine even on Jesus or Buddha or Krishna right they ...
What If
I was just empty? No thoughts, no feelings, no emotions of my own? No internal dialogue, as they say. Just a shell. Just a body. All the workings… But no content. Except for one thing. A ...
Vague Resistance
There is some vague resistance. A sense of withdrawal. A keeping in. It is unpleasant. I do not wish to be in a closed off energy I feel as if war goes on inside me. A deep one. At what level i...
Holy Shit
Are things moving fast. I hadn’t really realized just how fast until I looked at my entries just now. Just a few hours apart, some of them. It feels like weeks have elapsed. And yes I absolut...
The Clouds
Were just magical today [url=https://postimg.cc/jLMWD89N][/url] [url=https://postimg.cc/B8T4Kb6y][/url] [url=https://postimg.cc/WhyNRxC9][/url] [url=https://postimg.cc/R35vhKMK][/url] [url=...
Outside Perspective
Is very nice from time to time And I had thought that maybe I would be slowing down with the writing, but I’m really really not. I feel so good writing. I’m reading, and writing, and reading, ...
Peace
Harmony Non-Comativeness Equity Natural Law Equanimity Humility Wholeness Loving kindness Do they mean something different? I don’t know. They all contain some facet of the feeling of ch...
A Welcome Guest
Last night I could not sleep as I was lying in bed. It occurred to me that something was amiss. Something internal. Psychological, even. I then asked my Angel, could you please reveal to me wh...
Come and go
People come and people go They flit around the edges for awhile, and then they’re gone. More often than not. And that’s okay. I’m not really built for fitting in. To be a companion. To stay s...
Melancholy and Sentimentality
Such a wave overtook me, today. It was poignant. Colors seemed to pop out; a surreal almost too real quality descended upon my perception as I drove through town to get my kids and a treat from ...
A Remarkable Transformation
Has occurred within me I often find myself verbalizing things that seem incongruous with what I am thinking. I often have the experience of verbalizing, and then saying/thinking- where did that...
What is our relationship
To the sky? Mine, anyway, has grown considerably even just in the last month. As I learned more about the nature elemental beings, I realized that I have a distinct connection to the ones in th...
Recognition
Jumps out at me from a page, a word or phrase mentioned in passing, the sight of a new face that is somehow familiar. I feel a remembering. Not that I actually recall anything in my mind, concr...
Alignment
I have a story. It’s about Blackberry. She is a year old Satin doe (rabbit). I got Blackberry last year. I had taken up a very generous offer to acquire a Satin in order to improve the Satin A...
Slipping Away
I sense a sliding slipping slithering away I wager it had to at some point. Hahah… It’s June, now! I guess my premonition was right. I am left with something. Many things, perhaps. They are l...
Self Worth, Pt 2
It’s funny how Some things are SO simple it makes you scream on the other side of clarity. Talking to DH today, I felt my self worth. It was palpable. I notice it because it is so different f...
Processing Fear, Pt 2
I spoke on this a bit ago, and it is still the case that I cannot access my Terror. I reflected that perhaps the Terror was not mine, but perhaps a thing from outside. And maybe that was why I...
Self Worth
and Resentment. I am learning about myself anew, it feels like. No longer is my self-worth tied to the opinions or the treatment of others. Formatively, my parents. Amazingly, my resentment o...
Too Beautiful
Not to share Exercise 19: Become aware of your own little spiritual deaths. Overcoming Fear By Thomas Mayer
I'm Losing It
and it’s beautiful Do ya’ll know The Crucible? Ever have a British Literature teacher like mine? Mine was great, don’t get me wrong, but he made everything so personal. Anyways. I’m finding i...
Book Description
Thoughts, and Whatever else.
